Friday, September 7, 2012

Wanted: Experienced Pyrotechnician to Light a Fire Under My @ss

Note: Those who can't discern literal from figurative statements and/or those who are here because they googled anything containing the prefix "pyro" need not apply. In fact, please go ahead and click the "X" in the upper right-hand corner and no one will ever have to know you were here.

Waaaaahhhhhh! I HATE this!

(Making excuses for not posting, I mean.)

Almost as much as I hate the radio silence, which is why I will now offer you several excuses* as to why I have been unable to post something (since my last post) before today:

  1. I have forgotten how to pluck the hair-brained stories from my deteriorating brain and transfer them to the screen. 
  2. I have ants in my pants.
  3. I have age-related hormonal imbalance, which leads to bouts of not giving a flying flip, followed by soul-scourging guilt.
  4. I have three kids who just started back to school and six slightly dysfunctional (as a group) pets.
  5. Lack of monetary compensation.
  6. Occasional irregularity. Like you have room to judge. ;)
*Not a complete list of excuses.

Wait a second. I've lost my train of thought.... 

[insert silence]

Okay, so I was saying: I might be having some issues getting back into the swing of posting my usual HIGH-QUALITY material. BUT. If I don't get these (one in particular) practically written pet-related stories out of my head soon, I'm gonna burst into a fit of hysterical cry-laughter and scare my family! Therefore, it is imperative that I overcome this setback. 

In the near future.

Don't you worry. :)

So (in slightly unrelated news), while I was looking for some appropriate fire-under-the-butt clip art to insert into this post, I (ironically) found a few highly motivational quotes and sayings. Please consider them a "gift" to you for reading down this far.

Image credit

To which I say to Mr. Covey: "Isn't that the point of a fire under one's butt?!!!! Make it swift, please!!!!"

In fact, THIS is what happens to those who light LONG-BURNING, PAINFUL fires under butts:
The New Yorker via Conde Nast
(In case you can't read it, it says, "He was someone you had to light a fire under in order to get anything done." As in, the dude is on trial for burning off his employee's butt.)

Don't be dumb, friends. 

Like the dummy who thought THIS was a good idea!

Image source

For the record: I WOULD RATHER BE COLD!

And finally, here's a sweet bunch of polar bears bearing a weekend-appropriate motivational caption!

Image source

Have a great one, y'all! Be back when I get back!

(lest, out of guilt, I post my grocery list as filler)


  1. I feel ya! I've been dragging my ass lately and I need to snap back into it. I've selfishly been living a life full of human entertainments and as such, my doggy voice has been a tad lackluster of late.

  2. Maybe we can blame it on trying to enjoy the last few weeks of summer? I'm guilty of the same - I need some fire lighting too . .and now I'm off for vacation for a week! Some people plan ahead and have scheduled posts, but that won't be happening!! I DO miss seeing your posts!! Have a great weekend!!

  3. Hi Y'all!

    Just trying to get around and visit all my friends I've been missing. Hope y'all are havin' a great day!

    BOL!!! ROFB!

    Y'all come by now,
    Hawk aka BrownDog

  4. We all love to blog... but sometimes it is not easy.... and we can have lots of excuses, right?
    I agree with that white bear... " I am not lazy... I am highly motivated to do nothings "... Yes... I agree...
    Have a nice and relaxing weekend!
    Kisses and hugs

  5. Nice to catch up and a big thank you for starting our Saturday with a laugh. See you soon. We liked the idea of posting your shopping list, BOL funny. Have a great Saturday.
    Best wishes Molly.

  6. Well, unfortunately, I can relate ;-) And you should be careful what you offer... I suspect that your readers might be interested in your grocery list....

  7. I completely understand. I've fallen off the schedule too. I blame it on the lack of chocolate in my life, yes, that's it. ;)

  8. You have my undying love and devotion for your lack of motivation. You seem if you don't post, your post doesn't end up in my back-log of blogs I should be reading. ;)

    Seriously though, I miss you and hope you come back soon. But don't you worry, we'll be here whenever you decide to come back. ♥♥♥♥♥

  9. MOL! There used to be a Special Effects guy Mom worked with on The ATeam and a bunch of other shows, who was always making his explosions *a little* bigger than anticipated. Whenever he'd tell people to "Stay behind that pole," everyone would take shelter behind something about 100 feet behind the pole. Maybe Mom could find you that guy. ; )


  10. I am having a hard time getting back into the mental swing of things after being gone on our honeymoon for three weeks so I feel ya...but sorry, I seem to have momentarily misplaces my matches :)

  11. Relax, give yourself a break. I have a hard time posting more than once a week, and I feel guilty about that. Do what you can, and then take a nap. Better yet, take the nap first, THEN do what you can.

  12. Lucky you! Just a few cute corgi pix and you have us all begging for more. So enjoy the end of the summer, getting your kids in the back to school swing, and we'll wait patiently for puppy and kitty related mirth.



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