Sunday, February 24, 2013

10 (or so) Reasons Why Maddox Believes He Is the Luckiest Pet in America


Oh, hai. It's me, Maddox. Hold on a sec...


Okay, that's better! The view was a little obstructed up there. Besides, orange isn't really my color.

So anyway, I've been thinking...

...been thinking about how out of all the lucky, formerly out-on-the-street (so to speak) shelter pets, I (Maddox) am without-a-doubt the luckiest*. 

In fact, even though I'm what they call a "rescue," I'm certain that I'm the luckiest pet in America.
Perhaps you will indulge me long enough to explain?
(because sometimes you've just gotta say it out loud)

Okay, YAY! Here goes...

Why I (Maddox) Am the Luckiest Pet in America

  1. I can speak English and have a part-time typist who takes my dictation for important blog posts, such as this. (Editor's translation: Maddox is lucky that I can't stop blabbing about him on the interwebs.)

  2. Waayyy back in early March of 2010 (or sooner, I didn't look at the calendar that day), instead of releasing me into the wild city streets to fend for myself, my person (for reasons I have not yet determined) loaded my extra-large tabby self into his (and/or her) car and drove me over to Richmond Animal Care and Control (aka the city pound).

  3. The nice people at the pound orphanage, instead of saying to my person, "sorry, but we have no vacancy for your extra-large kitty," said "OK, we are sorry that you have to say goodbye, but we will take your kitty and try to find his extra-large self a new home and some new peeps."

  4. On March 17, 2010, because they needed to make room for some other in-between-homes city cats, and to help facilitate my finding a new perfect home (because I was worth it), the nice people loaded me into a different car and drove me a short way over to a bigger pet "orphanage" called the Richmond SPCA.


  5. Now, there are about 16,241 reasons why I got lucky when I went to stay at the Richmond SPCA, but neither of us have time to go through all that, right? So I'll just touch on the big ones, starting with: The kind people at the RSPCA (after calling me "precious" and naming me Maddox) said I could stay there, without missing a meal, and with toys and a warm bed, for as long as I needed. I didn't even have to sweep or do dishes or laundry!


  6. But then, guess what? About a week after my arrival, most likely because I didn't realize how lucky I was at the time, and was a worry wart, I got a bad cold - with snot bubbles and everything. But did they toss me out on my ear? Nope! That's because the Richmond SPCA has a whole section of the building called the Clinic for Compassionate Care, where the veterinarians and other people-who-are-trained-to-fix-sick-pets work. So yeah, they gave me some icky medicine until I felt loads and loads better...

  7. ...until this: Because it was taking longer than anticipated for my new perfect person to find me in the orphanage, I turned into a worry wart again, but this time (warning: gross-out ahead), crystal rock formations started to grow in my pee. And well, OUCH!!!!! They call this unfortunate condition Feline Lower Urinary Tract Disease (FLUTD), by the way. I have no idea what flutes have to do with it. But anyway, the vets and staff at the RSPCA took care of me then, too. And after I started eating a special mushy food with gravy on top, my pee was all good again.


  8. (fast forward TWENTY months of me just hanging out in my RSPCA kitty condo, watching the world go by, getting considerably grumpy in my advanced 9-year-old age, occasionally dreaming about blue skies and small, flitting creatures that beg me chase)

    Wait for it...

    My future new person (despite her nearsightedness and my lazy eye) locked eyes on me from across the room during her RSPCA volunteer cat handling class!

    Now, this wouldn't be nearly as noteworthy had I not been a dead-ringer for her (dearly departed and perfect) shelter cat, Buster. In fact, I kid you not, I think Buster's face might have even materialized over mine (just like Jacob Marley's did to Scrooge, on the lion's head door-knocker, except not nearly as creepy) and sent a telepathic message to my new mom to bust me out or else he'd send the spirit of "future" Maddox! Aghhh!

    Spirit of "Future" Maddox (aka really old me with a mustache and spectacles)

  9. So that night, after my future mom person had the "spiritual" experience over me, right in the middle of learning how to properly dispose of poop from the kitty townhouses, she sped home and Googled my name, only to find out, after some detective work, that I'd been an RSPCA resident as far back as 2010. And then, because she was fresh off of fostering a litter of three kittens, decided that she'd inquire about fostering me - to give me a break from my condo.

    And so the very next day she found out that yes, I was a great candidate for fostering, and that she could come and pick me up the next week. So she said "with pleasure," as long as I wasn't "terrified of dogs," which as it turns out I wasn't. In fact, at my last foster home, I might have even scared the living daylights out of the resident 70-lb. lab. Also, I swiped at people to get my point across. But this news did not deter my future foster mom, uh-uh. No, she insisted, "Oh, that's not a problem; my dogs and I are no strangers to temperamental cats (and by cats she meant my bear-cat sister Eva)!" So the next week she came to pick me up (in the carrier she brought with her), loaded me into her car and drove me home.

    On the 19th day of my 28-day foster period, she adopted me.
    Me napping beside my adoption papers

  10. It's been six months since I got my new home, and I could give you another 49,309 (+/-) reasons why I'm most lucky, such as, FREE ROAM of the house, window views, contented naps where I'm all sprawled out, sighing loudly as I dream about my younger days, frolicking about with careless kitten abandon. And then there's the fellow feline companionship...LOTS of it (something I longed for, but couldn't have in my shelter arrangement, due to my special anti-pee-crystal, gravy-covered food).

    But mostly, I'm lucky because my mom person has more lives than a cat. If she didn't, because she told me so, her heart would have burst a long time ago on account of it overflowing with love and affection for me. 

    Perhaps I should try not to be so endearing. :)
The Maddox Mitten-Hug: Guaranteed to make one's heart swell with affection 

*****

* lucky = blessed, gifted, thriving

Editor's Note: Clearly, Maddox is a "lucky" pet, but then again, so are the thousands of others out there, who might have started out on a desperate path, but with the help of the hundreds of local rescue organizations in America, including Richmond Animal Care and Control and the Richmond SPCA, got the care and shelter they needed, and ended up in loving (and even cushy ;)) permanent homes.

This blog post is dedicated to them: the people behind the rescues, who make "lucky" possible.

Thank you!

Have another minute to spare?

Click HERE to help Maddox win Petfinder's Luckiest Pet of 2013 Contest and $5,000 in cash for the Richmond SPCA!

P.S. (I can't believe I forgot this.) "Maddox" is a Welsh surname, meaning "fortunate."
:-)

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Of Cake Wreck(ing) Balls, Hershey, Kisses and Opportunistic PSAs

Disclosure: I tried not to. Really and truly, I tried.

I guess you could call this a belated Valentine's Day post. I'll let you decide after you get to the end.

So on Valentine's Day, Jon Farleigh and Dewi got a lovely little heart-shaped (doggie) cupcake to share. It came from Three Dog Bakery, the same place where I've gotten all their (doggie) birthday cakes.

Here's a photo of the cupcake:

 Cute, huh?

Yes, it was to me, too. Until I saw this on it:


Which reminded me that February is National Spay/Neuter Month, so I made this:


And then, after I did that, I looked at the cupcake again and saw this:


Which didn't really cause me to do anything, other than spend the next three days thinking about how I was going to "position" it (the steamer, aka pile of Hershey) in a blog post. 

I guess I can start thinking about something else now, huh? ;-)

And because I really do care about whether you, my dignified and exemplary readers, come back to read my blog on future occasions, the rest of this blog post will include only cute photos of my pets wearing cheap holiday-themed accessories from Target.

Enjoy!









Dang it! You weren't supposed to see that!

Dear Target People-Who-Make-Cheap-Accessory-Decisions:
As your #1 fan of cheap holiday-themed accessories (to use in important blog posts such as this), I'd like to point out that for the last three years, you have offered exactly zero Valentine's Day-themed headbands, necessitating my "making do" with creative alternatives (such as these gift-bag doggie "necklaces" from 2012 and the above St. Paddy's Day antennae). All I'm saying is that if you want to sell some Cupid's arrow (for example) headgear in 2014, I will buy it. 
Thank you.
Elizabeth

I believe it says "KISS ME."





What??

Happy (un) Valentine's Day, y'all!

;-)

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

You Should See Me in My Birthday Suit


Caution! By order of the CDC (Committee for Dog[blog] Cleanliness), all readers must use this virtual can of lavender scented Comet to scrub their minds of any "gutter" scum before proceeding. 




Oh, hai, y'all! How'd you like that title, huh?
I wrote it...because today is MY 3rd BIRTHDAY!

Oh, and the mom-peep made me add that warning up there. Something about a crack-down on the spread of soiled minds brain dirt. Whatev.

So anyway, like I was saying, today's my birthday and like the title says, you really should get a'load of me in my birthday suit. And boy, do I have a surprise for you!

Close your eyes!

Now, open 'em!


Ta da!

That's my sweet mama Elowyn, my four sibs and ME - Dewi (on the far right) - at the dairy bar on February 14, 2010. We were all in our birthday suits, dude!

Too bad my face is stuffed in a milkshake, though. I kinda wanted you to see it...

Oh, wait! Here! Look at this one...


Can you tell which one is me?! Hint: HellOOooo, I'm right here in front! Duh!

Okay, back to the subject of birthday suits. Mom-peep said that a birthday suit doesn't have to be limited to the suit you had on when you actually got born. Which is lucky for me, because that teeny tiny old suit went up the vacuum a long time ago. 

So yeah, and the mom-peep decided it would be fun to dress me and JF up in party hats and make us sit in the back of her car so she could take our pictures for this blog post (which I am writing, by the way) just because she doesn't have the time to make us do our proper sits and stays. Pfft.)

Well, here is what I think of the whole car imprisonment photo shoot.


Wait, I think a treat fell down in this crack.


I'm pretty sure this is not a happy face.


Can I get out of the car now?

(P.S. No, we did NOT get to go for a ride. But the party later, when the peeps were home, where they sang to me and gave me and JF some doggie carrot cake with pink icing, rocked, dude!) 

And one last thing, before I go: 

CONGRATULATIONS, MERINDA!


I could hear mom-peep giggling (even over Jon Farleigh's snoring) when she opened up your comment. Said she could totally picture me saying that. As if. 
What's the big deal about how I'm sitting, anyway? I just don't get you peeps.

Okay, I think I'm done. Bye, y'all! Thanks for looking at my birthday suits!
Happy birthday to my brother, Kirby, and my three sisters, Anwen, Jacklyn and Penny!

*****

A note from the editor:

Congratulations, Merinda (of The Brews Brothers blog)! Your caption cracked me up! And as promised, I'll be posting it (with credit) all over social media (within the next 24 hours)!

But mostly, THANK YOU TO EVERYONE who played along! I enjoyed reading every single one of your entries and I think you are all awesome great sports!

In honor of Dewi and his littermates' birthday, and thanks to you all, CorgiAid is getting $40 to help with their rescue efforts. 

Well played! :-)

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Cats Are Cool - An Impromptu Ditty with Vacuum Accompaniment

So I made this little song (ditty) up while vacuuming globs of dog hair from every square inch of my home's first floor (plus furnishings).

I'm sharing it because unless I do (release it from the fun house that is my brain), it will end up being 97 verses long, and I'll need to count backwards and breathe into a paper bag.

It's called:

Cats Are Cool 

(Hint: You can start in any key you like. I personally can't carry a tune.)


Cats are cool. Cats are cool.
They are so cool they should teach it in school.


Cats are cool. Cats are cool.
And if you hate 'em, you might be a tool...

...in the shed...

...that needs to be cat-ibrated! (the tool not the shed, get it?) [gestures an air-high-five]


Cat are cool. Cats are cool.
They eat their own fur and they hardly ever drool.

hum hum hum. la la la.
Nuh nuh-nuh nuh-nuh and they won't jump in your pool.

The end.


Be sure to tune in next time when I clean all four of the litter boxes, singing my newest ditty titled DOGS ARE GREAT!

That's not a joke. Just wait.

P.S. Feel free to add your own cats-are-cool verse in comments.

P.P.S. (added 4/14/13) If you liked this (or want to adopt a new kitty of your own), there are WAY more reasons why cats are cool at Petfinder, whose "I Am a Cat Parent" awareness campaign is in full swing! Go there!


Monday, February 4, 2013

5 Reasons Why (I think) 95% of the People Didn't Caption My Dog's Photo

Thanks to Laurie Eno at The Daily Corgi, whom I persuaded* (with no less than NINE** adorable photos of Jon Farleigh and Dewi driving sitting in the front seat of my car) to add the link to my "out-of-the-ordinary" caption challenge (to benefit CorgiAid) to her Facebook fan page (with somewhere near a trillion likes)... 

[pauses to inhale]

...Dewi's photo-captioning post from three days ago is now the 6th most viewed post I've ever published.

So therefore, it's only natural that I've been fretting mulling over the possible reasons why only five percent of those who paid Dewi's photo a visit actually submitted a caption!

I'm sorry; have we met?
...because you left without giving me something ridiculous to say!

And now - mostly to make myself feel better - I'd like to offer just five of the several possible reasons why (I can't help but think) so many of you left...without so much as a peep!:

  1. Your "commenting" hand has inexplicably fallen off. (ouch)
  2. You are a professional dog-photo-captioner and didn't want to "show up" the nice people whose captions could never be as awesome as yours.
  3. You were going to leave a caption, but then you thought to yourself, "If that comment-grubbing hussy really wanted to make a donation to dog rescue, why didn't she just do it, without dragging her poor derpy dog and me into it?!"
    (To which I'd say, "That wouldn't have been nearly as much fun, you silly!")
  4. You accidentally wound up on my blog after searching for "rainbow clip art."
  5. Your dog ate your comment. 
Might one of these pertain to your experience? Think I'm on the right track, here?? ;-)

THERE IS GOOD NEWS, THOUGH!

Even with the above-mentioned commenting "issues," I've still received lots of captions and am over halfway to my donation goal of $50! Yay!

WANT TO JOIN THE FUN AND HELP ME REACH MY GOAL?

Great! You still have through this Friday, February 8, to leave a caption, OVER HERE, please!

THANKS, y'all!

* Actually, it wasn't like that at all. Laurie is much too professional and on the up-and-up to succumb to  "persuasion" with adorable photos of corgis in cars. 
** Not all nine of the photos have been published to The Daily Corgi or its social media appendages. Only two of them have (so far) - HERE and HERE.

Look! Bonus photos of Jon Farleigh and Dewi sharing a doggie "cupcake" for Jon's 3rd birthday!







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