Monday, September 30, 2013

The Dog Down the Street Is EATING POOP Again!!, and 5 Other Outrageous Internet Tales

A morning network news program ran a (slightly) cheeky story today about how easily people - in today's gone-viral, gossip-fueled world - can fall for Internet hoaxes, and how to avoid being the next victim. You'll find many of the provided tips (for spotting email and web hoaxes) here.

So today - for (somewhat) practical reasons - I thought it would be fun to see whether you can spot any malarkey in this list of outrageous Chronicles of Cardigan-inspired headlines (that I just made up):
















So, what do you think; which ones (if any) are fact*?
Hint: The links are there for a reason.


Oh, and as for the title of this post? It's true. For every person on my street, besides those who live in my house. And to that, I say: If that's the worst thing my neighbors can spread about me, then I'm hiding stuff better than I thought! 

* Fact: The opposite of a bold-faced (brazen) lie; not full of malarkey.
Note: Neither half-truths nor euphemisms count as bold-faced lies.

I'll include the answers with Thursday's Tacky Cardigan!

Of course, that doesn't mean you should wait until then to spread this post around, if you feel so inclined!

Thursday, September 26, 2013

Tacky Cardigan With Words on It: Bluff Called

Sometimes they just write themselves. 


So who can spot the major difference (besides Maddox's position) in the two photos? :-)
Let me know in comments!


If you'd like me to consider your pet(s) for a tacky cardigan, just post a photo on the Facebook page!

Monday, September 23, 2013

13 Things (besides obscenities) to Not Name Your Dog

Note: Oftentimes - when sitting down to write a blog post - I strive to be helpful. Other times, all I can manage to be is ridiculous. You can decide what kind of day today was. 

Jon Farleigh (emphasis on "far") has a nice ring to it, no? 

After repeating my dogs' (and cats', frankly) names for the 297th time the other day, it dawned on me how important it is (for anyone who speaks their pet's name on a regular basis) to carefully plan how that's going to play out (audibly, and psychologically - for both the human and dog) before making a moniker permanent. And so, naturally, my mind took off running to places that other minds...well, frankly, don't. Anyway, I hope you find the following fruits of my mental journey (down the road of dog-naming no-no's) useful.

A few things you might want to ask yourself during the dog name-selection process:

<> Can I say it without getting tongue-tied?
<> Can I say it (with a playful or melodic rise in tone) so my dog will actually want to answer to it? (Ex: Sparky v. Spunk)
<> Will I get arrested (or make the news, like this woman in Scotland) for shouting it in public?
<> Will hearing it make me or my dog need xanax?
<> Will it make me want to dry-heave?
<> Could it become a self-fulfilling prophesy?

13 Things (based on the above) That You Should NOT Name Your Dog

13. Here Kitty Kitty
12. I. P. Freely
11. Sonorous*
10. National Debt
9. Turnip
8. Beet
7. Liver
6. Shh
5. Mammogram
4. Colon {anything}
3. Help (No, really. This is what happens when you name your dog Help - or Yelp, which sounds like help.)
2. Fire
1. Stay

He's red, yes. But is he a "Beet"? Not so much..

As for the photo, I took it with my iPhone and edited it (mostly) on my PC, in PicMonkey, using texture. And on a personal note, if any of you ever wondered whether dogs have souls, the answer is yes. I know this because a piece of Jon Farleigh's is caught in this image. 


* After writing the title for this post - for fun - I googled it to see how many other similarly-titled articles already existed. I found a few (not a ton), but of note was one published at Psychology Today (dot) com. You can read it here. (Hint: It's seriously serious, even claiming that dogs don't like the "unrelenting pressure" of wearing things [for example, cheap holiday-themed accessories from Target] on their heads. [insert eye-roll] ) Yes, anyway, at the bottom of the author's (an academic) list of things to consider when naming a dog was, "...make it a sonorous word - sonorous to you."
Think about that for a moment. (OK, time's up.)

Sonorous. Sonorous?
This is obviously why I should stick to writing nonsense, because - first of all - WHAT THE HECK DOES SONOROUS MEAN? (was what I was thinking). Is it related to sound? Because it sounds like a weird combination of ominous and sonar? And thanks a lot, Psychology Today, I now feel like a complete imbecile! (end of thought rant)

Then I looked up the definition of "sonorous" at dictionary.com.
Sonorous: (contextual meaning) rich and full in sound, as language or verse.

In other words, your dog's name should be pleasing to YOUR ear. Ironically, "sonorous" is one of the least pleasing words that my ear has ever heard; therefore, I have decided never to speak it out loud. So don't name your dog Sonorous, OK? ;)

Have you any experience with dog names gone terribly wrong?

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Tacky Cardigan with Words on It [Reader Edition] - Flattery

A reader submitted photo! Yippee!


Poor Race! ;-)

Thanks to Martine for submitting this week's photo! And to her awesome dogs, Race (the Cardigan Welsh Corgi on the left) and Sadie (the beautiful blend on the right), for being joyfully oblivious!

If you want to see more of these two dogs, check them out on Pack (packdog.com), which just launched (out of invite-only private beta) to the entire free world today!


Hint: My dogs are on Pack, too. Just search their (or my) names.


Would you like to see your dog (or cat, rabbit, fish, lizard, bird, etc.) in a tacky cardigan with words on it?

Just post a photo of them to the blog's Facebook page (on the wall or in a message) and I'll consider it.

Thanks again to those who have submitted your dog(s)' photo already (I've still got my eye on them)!

(Note: You'll be notified in advance of publishing if your photo is selected.)

Monday, September 16, 2013

The Curious ("Colorful"?) English Meanings of Words We Use for Dogs and Cats

Have you ever stood in your bathroom and thought about the different words we use in English for dogs and cats? No? Well, I have, so no worries. 

Don't ask me what sparked it (I can't remember), the point is, if one starts with the basic English words "dog," "cat," "puppy" and "kitten," and continues to list derivations of these words, one could possibly be left with some interesting questions to ponder. 

See if you agree:


Pup




Puppy








Doggy




Kitten




Kitty








Catty*?

Things that make me go hmm:

<> Was "catty" ever a term of endearment?
<> Would dogs call other dogs catty?
<> Would cats call other cats dogs?
<> Why is English so dumb sometimes?


P.S. The "catty" photo caption is a modified pop culture reference. 25 (brag) points to the first person who can correctly say from where! (Fine, it's Mean Girls-25 points for all!)

* IMPORTANT UPDATE: It occurs to me that a (sort of, but with am added "naughty/bad-girl," connotation) synonym for the term "catty" is "hussy" (defined HERE, Google, and HERE), which, if one were trying to use covertly--perhaps to sell something, could change to "husky," which is, in fact, a dog breed. Point being, let's give credit to both cats and dogs for the female slang terms that we've all come to appreciate, mostly, in a lighthearted** way. 😉

** Lighthearted, in a sarcastic way, if you prefer, or not. I mean, it depends on the context of how the slang word is used, and who's saying it, and to whom, right? (My gosh, I wrote this post in 2013, before Me Too. I had NO idea how relevant (in a satirical way) this post would be at the time.


Thursday, September 12, 2013

Tacky Cardigan with Words on It - The Stuff that Dreams Should Be Made Of

Am I wrong? 


That first question was rhetorical, by the way. ;-) 

(And the kitty in that photo - in case you're taking notes - is Maddox. We busted him out of the shelter a year ago, after a loooong time being there. He smiles in his sleep a lot.) 



Reminder: If you'd like me to consider captioning YOUR pet's photo, and feature it on the blog, post the pic on the Facebook page (on the wall or in a message). I'll let you know the week before (I post it), if it's selected.

Thank you to those who've already submitted photos! I'm carefully considering all of them!

Monday, September 9, 2013

8 Degrees of Separation from Crazy (A Photo-Inspired Reflection)

 "Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination."  - Mark Twain
~~~ 

It must've been a blue moon the other day, because this photo happened*:


Note: We don't really use that table; it's just for show.**

I'll get back to the photo in a bit, but first, I'd like to make a few random confessions:

<> Before Jon Farleigh and Dewi, I never wrote a funny thing in my life. Off-the-wall, maybe, but not funny.
<> I am not cut out for farm life.
<> I get an adrenaline rush watching pet hair get sucked up the vacuum.

***

So, how many critters did you spy in the photo?

Here's a hint:

Numbered in order of seniority in the house, #1 (Tigger) being the longest resident.***

If you said 8, you are correct! That's crazy isn't it??

(Speaking of card games, if 8 is crazy, what is 9? Answer: Another name for Old Maid. It's a joke, people!)

~~~
"One person's craziness is another person's reality."  - Tim Burton
(What the heck does that quote mean, anyway? That we're all crazy? ;)

~~~ 

The thing is, if it (living with all the critters) is crazy, I'm not sure sane living is right for me.

Now, if you don't mind, I'm gonna go rub a bunch of belly fur and think up some tacky pet-photo captions.

~~~

"Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been."  - Mark Twain


* The shot is 100% candid (unposed), lasted for 3.8 seconds, and most likely, will never happen again. That is why I chose to post it.
** OK, yes we do (use it). But don't worry, we shoo the critters off first. ;-)
Also, plastic tablecloth. Also, bleach.
*** By number:
1 - Tigger (14 yrs. old)
2- Eva (7?)
3 - Lulabelle (4)
4 - Jon Farleigh (3)
5 - Dewi (3)
6 - Maddox (10?)
7 - Bertie (1)
8 - Bobby Flay O'Fish (5+ mos.)

P.S. I hope that, by sharing a lighthearted view of my family's slightly crazy (pet) lifestyle, caring for all these precious animals, that someone, somewhere, might decide to give a needy, furry companion a chance (especially the kitties, who clearly, are in extra plentiful supply). HOWEVER, along with the rewards - in my family's specific case - there is lots of hard work (which we divide up): keeping everything clean, making sure everyone has enough space, gets fed healthy meals (in peace), gets exercise, grooming, regular vet care, individual attention and affection...........and that our house and belongings aren't destroyed - too much. In other words: It is a great big labor of love (no matter how silly I make things seem, sometimes).

Thanks for allowing me to share the rewards of our hard work with you!

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Tacky Cardigan with Words on It (1st Edition) - The Talk

As promised in my last post (about resting), a weekly photo meme...


Disclosures:

<> Just because I wrote it, does not mean it actually happened. 

<> Any resemblance to your own pet is purely coincidental, unless, of course, it is your pet. Which reminds me:


I would love to caption YOUR pet's photo and possibly feature it on the blog! If you're interested, post it on the Facebook page (either in a message or on the wall). I'll let you know in advance (by Facebook message) if your photo is selected!


<> I write tacky captions, because they make me happy. Tacky cardigans (as in sweaters), however, do not. 



Have a far-out, groovy day!
☺☺☺

Monday, September 2, 2013

Happy Labor Day; Don't Forget to Rest (a PSA Illustrated with Sleepy Corgis and Cats)

Whoever coined the phrase "Work Hard, Play Hard" forgot to add "Sleep Hard." Obviously, they weren't paying close enough attention to their beasts. 

Please don't be like that person. 

(End of PSA)

Enjoy your day, and my sleepy/sleeping animals!

Tired from chasing Jon Farleigh.


Tired from dragging a piece of string in circles for 10 minutes.


Tired simply from being awake for an hour straight. 


Tired from sleeping too vigorously.


Food coma.


Tired from watching me (pretend to) clean.


Tired from being alive for 10 years.


Tired from being alive for 4 months.


Tired of me taking his picture.
(As for the Kong? It's complicated.)


Tired of being tired of me taking his picture.


Wondering why I'm not tired, too. ;-)

Please note: Beginning this week, and for an undetermined duration, I will be adding a second weekly blog post, containing nothing but a captioned photo (meme). Because, to me, caption writing is good mental exercise. ;-) See you in a few!

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