Also, if you're too young to have ever watched an old Godzilla movie on cable TV, where the actors are clearly not speaking English in real life, however, very American English conversations are coming through the TV speakers, then try googling "old Godzilla movies."
Anyway, the point is, as a creative experiment*, I've decided to post a few outtakes today, and for added interest, I'll be captioning them with quotes from a random stack of books that I compiled from around my house. In other words, the captions will have nothing to do with what is actually happening in the photos**. BUT, just like the old Godzilla movies, in which the actors' mouths don't match the audio feed, it might actually be entertaining to watch (in an absurdly campy sort of way). Also, I will list the books I quoted at the very bottom of this post, in case you forget that I am not the one who published and got paid for the original content***.
Note: Actual stack of books (still sitting on my desk, because I can't remember where I found several of them).
I hope this turns out OK. (But if it doesn't, at least I tried.)
|"Hark, how hard he fetches breath."¹|
|"Are you my mother?" he said to the cow. "How could I be your mother," said the cow. "I am a cow."²|
|"...you know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circumstances have not changed one bit."4|
(End of weird, literary captioning experiment. It might have worked; I'm not sure.☺)
* I just finished reading Bossypants, Tina Fey's memoir, and she is the reason for this experiment. And by "reason," I mean she is crazier than I could ever hope to be, and I wish that I was her good friend Amy Poehler, or the person who scrubs her apartment's toilets, because she is THAT inspiring. Also, her memoir wasn't nearly long enough.
** Please note that my captions never have anything to do with what my pets are doing in the photos. Pets cannot talk. Refer here for my (more in depth) explanation of that.
*** Also, none of the dead authors I have quoted in this post have compensated me for my trouble.
¹King Henry IV, Part 1 by William Shakespeare
(Note: a comedic line referring to snoring; also, henceforth, I think I shall always use this quote when referring to my pets' snoring.)
²Are You My Mother? by P.D. Eastman
³Horton Hears a Who! by Dr. Seuss
4The Bad Beginning by Lemony Snicket
I'm curious: did you guess any of the books before I gave you their titles? ☺