Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Tacky Cardigan With Words on It: Why Reality TV Sucks for My Cats

Not my reality TV, either. THEIRS!


I don't know how long they sat there and watched that stupid (ugly, nasty...) stink bug the other night, but I KNOW they didn't kill it. Stupid things are too gross even for cats! Corgis, too! ICK!

Do your pets watch "reality" TV? And by that, I mean do they watch creepy bugs in your house, or eat them? Do you hate stink bugs, too? (Fun topic, huh?) ☺



If you'd like me to consider a photo of you pet(s) for a tacky cardigan, just post it to the Facebook page!

Friday, April 25, 2014

I Dyed My Hair and No One Noticed, So I'll Be Doggone If No One Notices My New Blog Design!

OK, there's a teeny tiny little white lie in that title; my husband noticed (my hair, immediately, because the "white streaks" were gone. "White streaks" he claimed not to have really noticed before. Yep). Ladies, there's a lesson in this somewhere. But, I veer off to the left a little...

Where was I?

Oh yes! HAVE YOU SEEN MY NEW BLOG DESIGN?! (I know a few of you have.) But for those who only see the blog in a reader, or email, or Triberr (or wherever - other than on the actual blog), or maybe you only stop by when the headline is particularly juicy for a pet blog (hair dye, anyone?), YOU'VE GOTTA SEE MY NEW BLOG DESIGN, STAT!

Note: Link goes to Glogirly Design, where the talented Debbie G. (aka Glogirly) hones her craft. And, to whom I owe all the credit for my blog's terrific new "do." What a pleasurable experience that was - working with "Glogirly"! And (I kid you not), the entire process - from my first email to the final product - only took a week!
Here's the header, because I like you (even if you're still looking at this post from inside a reader, etc.). But you've gotta click to the blog to see the whole thing!

OK, I see it and it's fab (omg, isn't it?!), but why the heck did you do this, Elizabeth? 

Well, I'll tell you: It's been forever over two years since I updated the design (all by myself, I might add), and since then, I'd outgrown a few things: like my column widths, and the space allotted for my page tabs, and my three little ole social icons (when I really needed twice that many). And frankly, because of my inexperience in designing blog pages (namely my previous header, which I made at the now defunct Picnic.com, and will always treasure, by the way), I simply didn't have the tech nor design skills to do what needed to be done (while keeping the previous design in tact).

♫♪ Make new blog header, but save the old (in a digital scrapbook). Some are silver and the others, gold.♫♪
(Gone, but to be forever treasured.☺)

That, and I've evolved as a writer (aka oft-ridiculous, pet-centric weblog article engineer?) and I really, really needed the design scheme (header/colors/tagline) to reflect where I draw inspiration today - and in the foreseeable future.

What the heck does that mean, Elizabeth?

Oh frell, I don't know! I was just trying to sound like I knew what I was talking about up there! But if you're wondering whether I'm about to change up what I do here, NOPE! Not gonna do that. But dang it, I have a bunch* of cats (*six one way, half-a-dozen the other, really), and if I wanna let people know about their fuzzy butts right off the bat, then I will! And if the mood strikes, I'll write about 'em, too. (Just the way it's always been. humph.)


Oh, and you haven't expressly asked me this, but I'm gonna tell you: Here's what I told the brilliant Debbie G. at Glogirly Design that I wanted my blog to "look like": "Retro" I Love Lucy with warm, Panera (or coffee house) colors. And the vintage TV (from my previous background) had to remain prominent. And a kitty (Maddox) MUST be somewhere where people can see him. And, doggone it, DIDN'T SHE DO A KNOCK-OUT JOB?! But wait! She even worked in some design/mood elements that I was thinking, but never told her (how did she do that?), like: Veggie Tales (yes, really!) and Bewitched (graphics) with a dash of The Benny Hill Show thrown in to taste! Yum! (Uh, never mind about Benny Hill. I might have imagined that part. Or, secretly wished it. ;)

And, most importantly, MY NEW DIGS MAKE ME SMILE AND WANT TO WRITE EVEN MORE OFT-RIDICULOUS, PET-CENTRIC WEBLOG ARTICLES! Yay!

So, there you go. Class dismissed. Thanks for attending.

Oh, next time? I'm gonna get a critter (or two, three...) to teach, which means absolutely NO food or drinks allowed in the classroom. No exceptions. ☺

Have you recently updated your blog design, or are you thinking about it? If you don't have a blog, is design/layout a factor in whether you choose to regularly visit a blog or not? Do you like me? Yes or no. ;)

**Psst. Even if it's true (for the sake of my emotional stability), please refrain from telling me you never noticed my previous blog design, and therefore, have no idea why I made a big deal about people coming over here to "notice" the new.  Also, I'm too young at heart to have "white streaks." (Which is why hair dye was invented. duh.)

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

That Picture Don't Make a Lick of Sense: Dogs Tugging on Something


If you paid close attention to my last blog post, you might already know the answer to this one. But if you didn't (and I expect that'd be the majority), here, see if you can guess...

WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GOING ON IN THIS PICTURE?


A. They're flossing their teeth with a new (no longer available) type of biodegradable, licorice flavored doggy dental floss. 
B. They're shredding my freshly laundered underwear.
C. I told them to "clean up," and they're having a stare-off over who ultimately gets to drop the debris into the toy box (trash can).
D. They're practicing for a competitive doggy tug-of-war contest, the winner of which will get a lifetime supply of bully sticks. 

So, what is it? Let me know in comments or on the Facebook page!

*****

As for last week's photo...


It's Jon Deer. Duh. OK, NO, no it isn't. Well, it kind of is, but that's not the best answer. The best answer is...

B. Jon Farleigh is in the truck bed wearing camo antlers for a Christmas card photo shoot. (The UPS man - who drove his truck past us on the side of the gravel road - got a nice chuckle out of it, too.☺)


Monday, April 21, 2014

Tacky Cardigan With Words on It: Bart Simpson's Ultimate Demise (Spoiler Alert!)

(Yes, I've done two tacky cardis in a row. Perhaps tomorrow, I'll make it three. Or not. ☺)

I'm telling you, this is it (how The Simpsons is gonna end)...

For reference purposes - in case you've never heard of Bart Simpson.
(Do those people exist?)



I'll be sure to let you all know as soon as Matt Groening returns my emails that I sent in my imagination

P.S. He'll eat your shorts (underwear), too, so for the love of Lisa, don't tell him to.


If you'd like me to consider a photo of your pet(s) for a tacky cardigan, just post it to the Facebook page!

Saturday, April 19, 2014

(Marginally) Tacky Cardigan With Words on It: If Dogs Were Flowers

Mine would be these:


FYI: Dog flowers still smell like dog.☺


If you'd like me to consider a picture of your pet(s) for a tacky cardigan, just post it to the Facebook page!

Bonus bloopers!
Liver flavored "fertilizer"

Oops. 

What kinds of flowers would your dogs be?

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

How to Teach My Dog to 'Give a Kiss'

That's right - MY dog. Because I have no idea how to teach your dog to "give a kiss." But, if you read how I taught MY dog (Jon Farleigh*, if you want specifics) how to do it, maybe you'll feel better equipped to try it at home.

Note: If you want to try it at home, you'll need a dog who likes to lick you on the face, specifically the mouth (as opposed to your eyelids or nostrils, for example, because redirecting the tongue is beyond the scope of this lesson). If you don't like being licked on the face by a dog, then, well, you've read two paragraphs too far.

Ready? OK.

Note: Incorrect form. Tip: DO NOT place peanut butter on nose,
unless you are a deranged dog blogger. 

First: Let my puppy/dog lick you on the face.

Second: Reward my dog for this action by either, 1) squealing like a piglet with joy, or 2) (in a high-pitched baby voice) praising him with all sorts of silly talk and/or lavishing large amounts of rubbing and scritching upon his furry self.
Caution: Squealing like a piglet might actually entice my dog to lick you even more, making it difficult to breathe without sucking his tongue into your airway.

Repeat second step liberally.

Now, to teach my dog how to "give a kiss" (as opposed to just randomly shoving his tongue into your face at all times).
  1. Wait for the opportunity when my dog is happy, but calm (maybe when he's tired).

    Note: Please try to ignore the fact that (in this photo series) Jon Farleigh is quoting Rhett Butler from Gone With the Wind.
  2. Get within tongue-shot of his face in a non-threatening way (i.e., NO STARING into his eyes or anything, that's threatening).
  3. Pucker up and nicely tell him to "give a kiss."
  4. Keep puckering and wait for him to take the hint.
    Note: If he doesn't, maybe lick your lips or gently blow a puff of air on his nose (trust me, it works).
  5. Immediately after my dog gives the kiss (only AFTER you asked him to), say "thank you." DO NOT skip this step!
  6. Then reward him using the PRAISE suggestions mentioned in the previous procedure.
    Note: I have never used a treat to reward Jon Farleigh for a kiss. Wouldn't want him to confuse my lips for a spot of beef liver or anything.
  7. Repeat this exercise several times, at different times throughout the day (or night).
Result: My dog (Jon Farleigh) can "give a kiss" when I (or you) tell him to. Truly, his licker does not discriminate against willing humans.

Important (personal) aside: He will also still give liberal kisses when not asked to, if I lie on the floor on my back, for example, or put my face next to his on the couch/bed. My husband, incidentally, does not care for facial dog smooches, but that does not stop Jon Farleigh from nonchalantly getting within distance and surprising him (husband) with a frog-like lash to the cheek.


And now, if you'll excuse me, I think Jon Farleigh might be due for some continuing education. ahem.

So, do you think you'll try this at home? Already have a dog who knows how to "give a kiss"? Wanna try it on Jon Farleigh yourself? Let me know (here or on Facebook)!

* Dewi is not a kisser (except for a few "fairy" kisses to the eyelids first thing in the a.m.) He is, however, an expert spooner. (He was born with it.)

Sunday, April 13, 2014

That Picture Don't Make a Lick of Sense: Creature in the Car Window


It's time for another episode of...

WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GOING ON IN THIS PICTURE?


A. "Step on it, Bucky, it's a starving CORGILOPE!"
B.  Jon Farleigh is in the truck bed wearing camo antlers for a Christmas card photo shoot. 
C. Somebody stole my dog, made him do humiliating things and posted it on the internet. (Do you think I should press charges?)
D. It's Jon Deer. Duh.

Leave you best guess in comments or on the Facebook page!

And, as for last week's photo...


(Nice guesses, by the way.)

C. He was stranded there on the 2nd step, afraid of slipping off in either direction, and was resting.

Important note: This was the first time Dewi ever attempted to go up those steps (years ago). He made it up ONE step before he quit and then just parked there for 10 min, until I realized he wasn't underfoot and found him there. He and Jon Farleigh can climb stairs now (can't get back down them, but that's another blog post); however, they are NOT allowed to go upstairs in our house, and therefore, do not use these stairs. Not ever. So, NO fretting.

This was pretty doggone funny, though. Stuck on the bottom step. :)

Friday, April 11, 2014

Tacky Cardigan With Words on It: R-Rated Doggy Talent Show

Alternate title: Little Miss Sunshine Moment During the Talent Show Portion of the Community Fall Festival


It was a day for the village history books, y'all. Really, it was. ;)


If you'd like me to consider a photo of your pet(s) for a tacky cardigan, just post it to the Facebook page!

BONUS (for being such tolerant readers)!

Have some HOT CHOCOLATE!


Holy marshmallows, do I love the movie, The Full Monty!

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Classic Cardigan: The Time I Met Pit Bull William at the SPCA, Except He Was Really a Cardigan Corgi Mix #NDFAD

The ASPCA has designated today National Dog Fighting Awareness Day (NDFAD), but I'll be using the occasion as an excuse to retell William's story -- at least the part of it that began when we crossed paths at the Richmond SPCA, just before Thanksgiving in 2012.

You see, William -- by visual standards -- was a pit bull: large, block-shaped head, wide jaw, short coat and lean, muscular body. And when I walked by his shelter run that day -- as he had all those physical characteristics (which, by the way, I have come to regard with deep affection since starting this blog) -- he might have been just another (relatively speaking, as there are so many like him who end up homeless) handsome, even-tempered pittie, looking for a loving family to call his own.

Except the sign on his kennel door - in black letters, right beside "breed" - said he was a Cardigan Welsh Corgi/American Staffordshire Terrier mix. 

And that, friends, is where the story begins.

Originally published on November 18, 2012...

Meet (sweet) William, an Adoptable Cardigan Corgi Mix in Richmond, VA!


I took these photos of him while we were playing outside the Richmond SPCA (his temporary home) on Friday. Isn't he a cutie?!

That Kong you've got there makes me happy; toss it, please?
Oh, and by the way, I love you.

Hello. Guess what? I'm thankful for this here Kong...oh, and you, too.

What? Not what you were expecting? Thinking I made a typo in the title?
That perhaps Elizabeth sees the world through "Cardigan-colored glasses*"?

Well actually, I most certainly do/did...NOT!  See...?

screenshot source

Hint: Look at the breed (up there on his Richmond SPCA adoption profile).

Still scratching your head?

Maybe this (which happens to be attached to the door of his shelter run) will clear it up for you...

"See DNA results."

William is A12396298. Wisdom Panel is the name of the company that supplied
and performed the cheek-swab DNA test.

This is what's printed at the top of the test report:

"The Wisdom Panel® Shelter Dog™ computer algorithm performed over seven million calculations using 11 different models (from a single breed to complex combinations of breeds) to predict the most likely combination of pure and mixed breed dogs in the last 3 ancestral generations that best fit the DNA marker pattern observed in A12396298. The ancestry chart depicting the best statistical result of this analysis is shown in the picture below."

Here are William's test results:

Can you make out that Cardigan Corgi silhouette up there on the left?
OK, here's a closer look.

This is the image that transfixed me to the front of William's shelter run. 

Because my crappy camera (I left the nicer one at home) cut off part of the chart, here's the bottom line:

William is a "Cardigan Welsh Corgi (12.5%)/Chinese Shar-Pei (12.5%)/Boxer (12.5%) Mix crossed with American Staffordshire Terrier (25%) Mix." 

But that only adds up to 62.5% of his genetic makeup. That's because the other 37.5% is made up of many other breeds' DNA, but not enough of any particular one to be named with any level of confidence.

Oh, and just so you know, no one at the Richmond SPCA told me about William or asked me to write this post; I discovered his "secret" completely by accident, strolling through the adoptable dogs after a volunteer session earlier this week. I was so taken aback by my discovery, though, that I volunteered to go back the next morning just so I could take William (and some other dogs) for a walk and some play time outside (hence that first photo up there).

So what does all this mean?

(Note: I'm assuming William's DNA sample was clean and the results are accurate.)

That I'm trying to make a case for adopting William because he's part Cardigan Welsh Corgi? Actually, I think that would be a poor reason to adopt William. He deserves better.

To be honest, William is such a great dog (polite, happy, even-tempered, easy on the eyes, healthy, squeezable...) that I'm banking it won't be his "secret" Corgi lineage that swiftly works its way into someone's heart. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if he gets himself adopted before you even finish reading this sentence. (Man, that would be awesome!)

What I am hoping for, however, is that the next time you (or anyone else who reads through this post) meets up with a dog who looks like William, that you might pause and reflect - even for just a moment - about all the sweet "secrets" that possibly (or likely) lie beneath that (oh, so) familiar exterior.


[ahhhhh]

In fact, through "Cardigan-colored glasses," one could see all the colors in an 8-pack Crayola box, except for green and purple!
♦♦♦ 

Notes:
<> As if there could be any doubt, William didn't remain in the shelter for long. He was adopted and in his new forever home before Thanksgiving.
<> I intentionally omitted the words "pit bull" (and all variations) from the original post.
<> For more information about the wide range of dogs commonly referred to as pit bulls (including their history and common misconceptions), refer to The Truth About Pit Bulls at ASPCA.org.

Sunday, April 6, 2014

That Picture Don't Make a Lick of Sense: Dog on the Stairs


OK, friends, ready for this week's nutty picture??

Tell me, WHY IN THE WORLD is Dewi's face mashed into that riser on the stairs?!


A. I smeared bacon grease on it.
B. He was told to go put his face in the riser (equivalent of the corner, because I said so).
C. He was stranded there on the 2nd step, afraid of slipping off in either direction, and was resting.
D. I told him he couldn't have any more of my clementine and he's pouting.

Let me know in comments or on the Facebook page!

And the answer to last week's pickle picture...


C. I was conducting an experiment to see whether he could distinguish healthy, fresh fruits and veggies from random, nasty crap in my pantry! (Hint: He can't. It's all good stuff to him.)

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Tacky Cardigan With Words on It: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wha?

What if it wasn't a wardrobe...


...but your kitchen pantry?

Yeah, I don't know either. But somehow, I think Narnia would be in a heap of trouble if "King" Jon Farleigh was in charge of it.☺



If you'd like me to consider a photo of your pet(s) for a tacky cardigan, just post it to the Facebook page!

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How'd you like to win a $25 gift card to Etsy.com? Come hang out at #CardiComedy this Sunday, 4/6, and you just might!


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