Monday, September 11, 2017

10 Reasons Why My Corgis Are Strange

For the record, there are more than 10 reasons the corgis are strange; it's just that I haven't mentioned these particular reasons here, in much detail anyway, before now.

10 Reasons Why My Corgis Are Strange

1. Jon Farleigh: Carries a "pacifier" (e.g., Kong, bone, rope, dirty, half-destroyed plush toy, empty plastic bottle, etc.) everywhere he goes. If it's not in his mouth (because his mouth is otherwise occupied or he's asleep), it's within reach.

His pacifier du jour.

2. Dewi: When on car rides, sits with his entire head, snout first, shoved into the crease between the back seat and the door. 

3. Jon Farleigh: Charges any cat who attempts to escape his ever-watchful eye. And by charge, I mean he springs to his feet, while violently shaking his "pacifier"-toting head. Note: No animals have ever been injured during this process (in fact, the cats mostly roll their eyes); however, some (humans included) have been jarred awake from sound sleep.

4. Dewi: Humps Jon Farleigh every time he (Jon Farleigh) charges a cat leaving the room. (Recap: Cat leaves room => JF charges cat => Dewi humps JF. Repeat, as necessary.)

5. Jon Farleigh: Growls whenever he's enjoying a particularly good back scratch.

6. Dewi: Screams in fear whenever he thinks he's going to get his nails trimmed* (as in, I am holding his paw in one hand and the clippers in the other). And by scream, I mean scream (not whine, not yelp, not bark - scream). Like this baboon scream:



Like this, except not a yawn. And substitute clippers for the dremel.

Like the last time we went to the vet for his annual physical, and they needed some blood for his heartworm check...

Me to vet assistant: He might scream. He screams when I handle his paws and he sees the nail clippers.
Assistant: That's okay, a lot of dogs do. Just hug him, like so, while we get a little blood from his wrist.
Me: [hugs Dewi]
Dewi: SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM!!!!!!
Dead people: [wake up]
Me: [soothingly to Dewi] It's okay, buddy, it's all over! What a good boy!
Vet tech: All we did was swab the site with alcohol; keep hugging him! We need to get the vessel on the first try.
Me: [to myself] Good lord, it was just a swab?!?!
1/2 dozen or so bystanders staring through the examining room door: [wonder whether to call 911]
Me: [To myself] I told them he'd scream. [to Dewi] It's okay, buddy, just a little bit longer! Good boy! Good boy! [to the Heavens] Please, God, please let that needle go in the vein on the first try.
Dewi: [quiet]
Vet tech: All done! Good job, Dewi! [Straight-up lies, while wiping beads of sweat off her brow.]
The vet'll be by in a few minutes to read the test.

7 minutes later...

Vet: [smiling] I understand this guy got a little upset getting his blood drawn.
Dewi: [wiggles and beats tail out of sheer joy]
Me: [trying not to giggle] Yeah, but he's okay now. It was just his feet. He'll be perfectly unfazed by the rest of the exam, including his shots. Really.
Vet: OK, but I've got something here that'll keep him busy--just in case--while I give him the shots. [produces jar of ground chicken baby food; proceeds to spoon half of it into a paper bowl, and place it in front of Dewi]
Me: [to myself, as Dewi scarfs down the food] Boy, does that dog know how to work a room. 

Addendum: I forgot to mention that--when he doesn't perceive me to have the clippers--Dewi loves to have his paws handled. In fact, he voluntarily "hands" them to me for all-over, between-the-pad massages. I love those stubby white feet!

OK, back to the list...

7. Jon Farleigh: Yaps and "pecks" (bonks) Maddox with his nose whenever Maddox walks into the kitchen. Conversely, is afraid to get within 5 feet of Maddox everywhere else in the house.

Like this, except not five feet away, in the kitchen, and with lotst more bonks. 

8. Dewi: Is afraid of inflated balloons.

9. Jon Farleigh: Hates so badly when the cats play with string, that he steals the string, shakes it until it's "dead," and then sits on it for safe keeping. 

10. Jon Farleigh and Dewi: Have no fear of loud noises, including (knock wood) thunder. Probably because those loud noises--compared to their loud protests against string and nail clippers, for example--pale in comparison. 


* Dewi has not always screamed (at me) while getting nail trims, nor has he ever experienced a nail injury. However, the screaming and stress is why I (mostly) take him to the groomer for nail trims now, because, for some reason, he does not scream at her.


What strange things do your dogs (or cats, if you don't have dogs) do?

36 comments:

  1. But it's all these strange and wonderous things that make us love them so

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  2. Mom is telling all your secrets....
    Lily

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  3. Thank you so much for writing this. We have three dogs and two cats. I was crying from laughing so hard by the end of this. I almost died when you wrote "Dead people; [wake up]" ...hilarious!

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    1. Thank you so much for reading and commenting on this! :) I knew from your blog that you had pets, but not how many. A third dog would likely send me in to the abyss of no return. (crosses fingers and smack every wooden surface in the house)

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  4. We can't get passed laughing at Dewis' scream LOL....sounds like something out of Howl-a-ween. Our ancient Pip is the same. She just has to see the clippers and freaks out. The vet once drew blood clipping hers and she has never forgotten. Now we struggle to do them. We love the fact that your fur babies have real character. Have a terrific Tuesday.
    Best wishes Molly

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    1. Sorry about the vet mishap, Molly. :( Those darn nails need to be able to trim themselves!

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  5. Love this post - one of my faves :-) About 5 minutes before we leave the house (this only happens when both humans are leaving), Jeffie begins a series of barking charges towards the front door. I mean barking alerts like the aliens have just landed in our front yard. I think he takes his role of being "in charge" very seriously.

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    1. Um, Jeffie?? You're supposed to bark at strangers trying to *enter* the house.

      P.S. Taking watchdog advice from me is not recommended!

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  6. Wilson has to roll on his favorite throw rug each and every morning before coming downstairs. The rug is in tatters but I can't bear to throw it away as he loves it so.

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    1. I LOVE that video of Wilson. And, no, you can't ever throw it away!

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  7. Brychwyn & Dewi are truly long lost, different eye color twins! Brychwyn also has a nail trim screaming issue and also goes to the groomer where he does not scream (he only yelps for no reason) but Wilhelm then takes over the screaming. I will be deaf before I am 50... At least Brychwyn has recently learned a "plug it up" command that means I am so sick of his uncontrolled barking spasm I want him to muffle it by continuing his tantrum with something in his mouth.

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    1. OMG, plug it up! So clever of you! :) I tried "plugging" Dewi up with a plate of peanut butter (which was a brilliant idea from Maggie at Oh My Dog!), but he just kept screaming. Thank goodness for good groomers.
      P.S. Ear muffs? ;)

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  8. I don't think dogs are strange at all. It's so many of the people in this world that are weird/crazy/strange. (Read: anti-pet people.)

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  9. OMD, that scream! It's like something from a horror flick! Hysterical. And the humping. Too funny!

    I love the little odd things pups do. Rita doesn't have too many quirks, but she does love to scratch her living room bed like CRAZY every night before getting in to it and then she flings herself into it and has a good roll on her back, while huffling and kicking her legs in the air.

    As for quirky humping stories, our female beagle used to always hump my husband's elbow whenever he would do pushups. It was hysterical. Wish I had it on video. Then she would collapse on his shoulder and just kinda hang out there while he finished his set.

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    1. You lost me at elbow humping. Oh my. O_o

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  10. Gretel doesn't carry her Kong all of the time but she does often carry it outside with her when I get home and let her out of the crate. She tries anyway. I don't let her take it out anymore because she would leave it and I would have to go out and pick it up. I can imagine how cute it must be to watch JF carry his binky around.

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    1. That must be so adorable! Gretel is so little and so must her kong binky be!

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  11. Hilarious list! Dogs do seriously do that sort of thing all the time for nail trims. And I'd say that 9 out of 10 corgis do it too lol. Not to be breedist or anything, but they can be quite dramatic at the vet's!

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  12. Excellent post :) LOVE the story about the screaming- too cute! My Del will take your socks off when you're wearing them, head upstairs to the bathroom, lift up the toilet seat and store our socks in the loo. I have no reason why, but it happens quite frequently! Also, he's terrified of salt and pepper grinders....

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    1. Rachel, that is HILARIOUS! You must write a story about it! But if you don't, may I?? (I'm only halfway kidding. That kind of story is SO MUCH FUN!)

      Also, I love the word LOO! And I always think it with a British accent!

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  13. Dogs are just like people with all their charactor quirks and personaities. They are just like humans at times!

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  14. Dewy and Jon Farleigh are so adorable I almost laugh just looking at any of their pictures. I was so intrigued by their antics I can't even think of funny things my cats do. Those two are hysterical. You have offered up even more proof that "strange" is the new "cool".

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    1. I bet you cats do LOTS of funny things! Mine do. It's just that their faces aren't nearly as expressive as dogs, darn it!

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  15. Love this! Bless Dewi and his car-related habits! They're so funny aren't they :) My little dog Harvey has all sorts of strange quirks - he loves to carry balloons around in his mouth (for hours!), he goes to the fruit bowl each night and begs for a tangerine (he loves them!), at night he grabs his teddy in his mouth and goes to sleep (like a comfort blanket), he hates the printer as it's way too noisy and lastly, when we come home from food shopping he comes out to the car and we always have to give him something to carry in for us. Not sure where all of these came from but he's a comical chap! :)

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    1. Oh my, the grocery carrying is too much! Harvey is a GOOD BOY! :) Corgis would make very BAD bag boys.

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  16. #4 bawhahahahahhaha

    Ruby is also a screamer when it comes to her nails. Though her weirdest thing is that that she is terrified of squeaky toys. Well meaning people keep giving her squeak toys and she absolutely freaks out and takes off running (away from the evil toy) when she sees one.

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  17. OMD, this is SO hilarious!! My dogs don't do anything nearly as entertaining as yours, but little Phoebe has a weird habit of head butting the kitchen garbage pail when she really wants to get your attention. She doesn't knock over the garbage or try to get into it, just head butts it.
    Love & Biscuits,
    Dogs Luv Us and We Luv Them

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  18. Many thanks for all the out loud chuckles. Your dogs are furbulous and know how to spin a simple story into a pawsome yarn! Well done. I can't even begin to share the weird thing my guys do. I'm sure some of them are illegal in 17 countries.

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  19. OMD, these stories are VERY funny. I can almost hear Dewi's screem and love all of their little quirks!

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