Kolchak here. You know, Kolchak? The loveable puggle from Kol's Notes with a penchant for homemade dog treats, DIY/crafts and a secret evil plan? If you didn't catch yesterday's post from Disc Dog Mort from Dogthusiast, then you should probably check it out. Go now, it's important, I will wait.
You back? Good.
That fool! Kelpies are so easy to trick. Let that be a lesson to you, pups. You don't want to tangle with the superior wits (and incredible good looks) of a puggle. All I had to do was suggested to Mort that he could have more discs and he was more than happy to do my dirty work, trapping the Dewi & Jon, distracting those insufferable c*ts with the nip and leaving my path to taking over the Chronicles of Cardigan clear. All I had to do was throw a disc and Mort was out of my way too.
Not bad for a day's work.
|Look at these loveable goofballs. Kidnapped, crated behind bars and still smiling like fools. Corgis!|
You guys seem pretty "cardi crazy" over here. Everytime I come over here it's pictures of corgis, stories about corgis, jokes about corgis. It's always CORGIS! CORGIS! CORGIS! Enough already! It's time for Chronicles of KOLCHAK. I'm the star of this blog now. It's going to be all puggles, all the time and you're going to like it. Capische?
So now, with no further ado, 5 Reasons Puggles are Totally Cooler than Corgis
While puggles and corgis have a whole lot in common (we're comical, sturdy and we shed like it's our job), there's also a whole lot that sets us apart. Puggles are totally awesome.
#1: We aren't all "fancy pants"
Apparently corgis can't just be corgis, oooooooh no! They've got to be all fancy with their "Welsh Cardigan this" and "Pembroke" that and all "We're so posh, we live with the queen". It all just seems like a lot of work and snobbery that bpils down to one thing: some corgis have tails and some don't. Yuck, who needs all that snobbery? I'm a puggle. 1/2-Pug, 1/2-Beagle. The best parts of two of America's favourite breeds. I'm everyman's dog. I'm a dog's dog. Nothing fancy. Nothing crazy. Not like those show-offy corgis. I mean, what does a corgi even NEED a tuxedo for?!
#2: We don't have "fluffy pants" either.
Have you ever seen a close up of a corgi's butt? WHAT IS WITH THOSE PANTS? (Or should I say pantaloons?) Why are they so weirdly fluffy and out of proportion with the rest of their bodies? Puggle butts aren't all weird like that. We have perfectly normal dog butts with muscles of steel, topped off by the perfect curly tail. See? SEE?!
(Bonus: Watch this video, but while you do, imagine Sir-Mix-Alot is playing over the whole thing.*I like puggle butts and I can not lie.*)
#3: We aren't pushy, domineering brats.
Hey! That's not my being rude. That's a real thing that I read about corgis on a corgi website. Seems those fluffy little jerks can be a bit bossy sometimes. While puggles are often accused of being bossy, that's actually inaccurate. We're just self-assured, we know what we want and we are excellent at convincing our humans that what WE want is what THEY want. That's not domineering, that's just good business sense and this vacuum cleaner totally had it coming. Sometimes you have to put your appliances in their place.
#4: We don't have delusions of grandeur.
I don't know where these corgis get their sense of importance?! I mean really?? 51 Corgi Gifs that will Change Your Life? 39 Smiling Corgis Who Will Inspire You? The 40 Most Important Corgis of 2013? WHO ARE THE CORGIS KIDDING HERE? What crazy person is running the corgi PR Machine? Someone needs to remind these fluffy little beasts that they are not the centre of the Universe. Puggles aren't like that. We don't have articles declaring that mere pictures of us will change your life and help you lose 15 lbs. because that is ridiculous. We don't need the whole world to love us. We aren't trying to be the latest internet craze. Puggles are just chillin' like a villain with their peeps and being awesome. Ain't nobody got time for this celebrity0dog nonsense.
#5: We're smart as woof.
Can I just say that a puggle would never get trapped in their crate by a disc-obsessed kelpie and an evil genius? We are killer smart and given enough treats, you can teach us to do almost anything. I mean, can you imagine a corgi doing this? COULD a corgi even do that with their weird, squat little half-legs? I doubt it. I don't even know how they get around on those pegs. It just looks awkward. I digress though, I was saying that puggles are smart. Almost too smart. A puggle could out smart you, if you're not careful and then where would you be? It really is best to stay on a puggle's good side or you could fine your site hacked and find a shrine erected to the honour of the most handsome puggle who ever walk the Earth. This guy:
Why do you think puggles are better than corgis?
Leave your opinion in the comments AND WATCH OUT. In my quest for world wide web domination, your blog could be next.