Tuesday, October 25, 2011

From Dewi Dance to Dewi Stance - How I Learned to Converse With My Dog

So yesterday I (re)introduced you to the Dewi Dance and how because we (the folks who live in my house) showered him with lots of wonderful attention whenever he performed it on command, Dewi might have started offering it up unsolicited. 

I know what you're thinking. And yes, (despite the obscene cuteness) I tried to ignore him. It's not right to reward a dog for offering up a behavior (simply to get the reward) without being told to do it. Anyone who's been through basic training with a dog should know this. ;-) So anyway, it was a battle of wills that first time (or three), but Dewi eventually got tired of waiting and wandered off. And we don't do the Dewi Dance anymore. 

That's because it's now the Dewi Stance. Dewi works with me on it almost daily, and it's possible that I might be completely trained by Christmas. 

Allow me to elaborate through pictures and dialogue.

It's hard to teach an old lady new tricks.

Dewi: Oh, for Pete's sake, would you look over here already?! Hellooooo! I'm not playing here.

Me: [stoic face, looks straight ahead, thinks] I won't look, I won't look....just ignore him....

5 minutes later

I find poop on the dining room rug; however, I fail to connect it to The Dance.

A few days later - repeat the same scenario. No poop, but Dewi is precariously positioned by the door to the "doggie snack stash."

A few days later - repeat the same scenario. Pee accident. (I begin to sense a pattern.)

The stance has many meanings.

Just like the words 'aloha' and 'shalom' - to gain meaning, one must consider the context of The Stance.

The Poo and/or Pee Stance
Dewi: One Who Has Thumbs and Lets Me Outside, I have no buttocks and, therefore, am in imminent danger of blowing (and simultaneously extinguishing) this fire in my hole.

Me: [using soprano voice] Need to go potteee? 

Dewi: [runs frantically to back door]

The Snack Time Stance
Dewi: One Who Makes Noms Appear When My Insides Are Grumbling, I don't know why, but my insides grumble at this same time every time it is not nighttime. I need noms.

Me: [using soprano voice] Need to go potteee?

[cue crickets chirping - checks watch for time - it's between 12:15 and 1 p.m (snack time)]

Me: [using soprano voice] Wanna snack? 

Dewi: [gallops to kitchen]

The Tattle-Tale Stance
Dewi: One Who Reigns Supreme Over Jon Farleigh, Jon Farleigh has stolen my chewie/toy (even though he has his own chewie/toy) and is saying "neener neener." Please get him.

Me: [using soprano voice] Need to go potteee?

[cue crickets chirping - checks watch for time - it's 9:30 a.m. - remembers that both dogs just got new chewies - notices Dewi breaking eye-contact and glancing over toward Jon Farleigh who is hoarding both chewies]

Me: [using parental voice] Jon Farleigh, give me that! [physically retrieves object from JF]

Dewi: [prances around in circles, takes object and relocates to next room]

The Fetch Stance
Dewi: [drops rope at my feet] One Who Makes This Rope Fly, I urgently need to fetch.

Me: [using whiny voice] But, we just did this 10 minutes ago (as if he can understand me).

Dewi: Must fetch.

Me: But...

Dewi: Must.  

Me: [groans and throws rope]

Dewi: Scampers to fetch rope and continues this cycle about 248 more times.

The 'Everything Else' Stance
(Note: I'm still learning.)
Dewi: One Who Can Read My Mind, I'd like a ham sandwich, toasted, with mustard and pickles.

Me: [using exasperated voice] Dewi, I don't know what you want. What do you want???

Dewi: Forget it already. Sheesh.

Notes and disclaimers:
  • As I draw breath, all of this is true, including the interpretations, until you can prove otherwise.
  • Dewi and Jon Farleigh are let outside to poo and pee several times/day, at regular intervals.
  • Jon Farleigh can "dance," too, but he cannot balance on his haunches.
  • He does not dance unsolicited.
  • I used the same photo six times in this post.
  • I will be posting short, non-wordy posts the rest of this week.

~~ Aloha and Shalom ~~


  1. Again with the hilarity ... you are as funny as your Corgis!


  2. Dewi, you are an amazing teacher. You have brought the dog mom a very long way in a short time. Keep up the good work.

    Keep working on the sandwich order. She'll work it out eventually.

  3. It's really hard to read Gretel's "signals" too. If she is looking at you she might be hungry, curious, bored or she might have to go potty :)

  4. This is too funny! Isn't it amazing the effort and patience our dogs put into teaching us humans? ;P

  5. Lol, isn't it great when you finally get the connection! Dogs are far better at training us than we are at training them!

  6. Haha, my six month old cardi-gal is doing just the same, now I start to understand why

  7. OH MY!! Thank you for making me laugh and laugh...just when I needed it most!

  8. To those who think this is funny - Thanks A LOT! You try and do this every day. Dewi hasn't gotten the memo about rewards based training yet. He just poops on the floor if I get it wrong. :(

    @Pamela - NOT!

    @Jessica - Gretel is so adorable - I bet her signals are pretty cute.

    @24 Paws - Yes, the funny thing is that because they are so good at it, most of the time we don't even know what hit us.

    @Greyhounds - I think it must be that they are FAR more patient. :)

    @Josefinesh - Nice to meet you. :) Your girl Tetris (I peeked at your blog) is so adorable. If she's doing this already, you are in trouble. :)

    @Robin - Glad I could help. :)

  9. My Kami has her own signal, when she wants something - she sits oh so pretty and she waves. And it's so freakingly cute, that it's ohhhh so very hard not to give her anything :D And in case the wave doesn't work, she touches my leg, or hand (whatever is available :D) and when i look, then she waves again... :D


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