I Kept Him Because His Breath Burns My Nostrils, Plus a Few Other Counterintuitive Reasons

I need to clear something up.

It might seem as if I just adopted a lovable older shelter cat, who was passed over merely for having some chronic lower urinary tract issues.

Hi, there.

Furthermore, it might seem as though I kept him for myself simply because I couldn't bear to part with him, not to mention the fact that he looks like my dearly departed Buster*, is a Cardigan Welsh kitty AND has a name that means "fortunate" in Welsh.

But, friends, sometimes things are not as they seem.

The truth is, I didn't adopt Maddox for any of those reasons. No, these are the reasons I adopted him**:

• Well, you already know about his chronic (hell-fire) halitosis. ;)
• He doesn't like to be touched on his belly, or legs, or ears, or tail.
• He thinks swiping and biting are forms of affection.
  

  

  Caution! I swipe for fun! :)

  
  
• He scares the crap out of Jon Farleigh and Dewi (because instead of running away from them when they're being bratty, he charges them).
  

  

  Don't worry; I'm choosing not to be bratty in this particular photo. ;-)

  
  
• He slops his prescription wet food all over the floor (of my bathroom, where he is fed away from my other cats).
• He sprays water when he drinks.
• His tongue is really really looooong.
• He sometimes forgets to put his long tongue back in his mouth after he grooms himself.
  

  

  Sometimes, I leave it out to air dry.

  
  
• He sleeps a whole lot (read: he doesn't appreciate being kept awake for forced playtime and cuddling).
• He's not a cuddler.
• He claws at rugs and carpet.
• He's much larger than your average house cat (and has two big extra claws on each of his front paws).
  

  

  Rawr.

  
  
• He's fond of hiding under the bed.

If he were sweet and cuddly and younger and had good manners, I would have written up a nice account of his foster experience (for potential adopters) and taken him back to the shelter. Just like I took back the foster kittens, who were all, incidentally, adopted within two weeks of being spayed/neutered.

Wait; I'm not sweet and cuddly??

Hold on while I think. Uh, NO.

I mean, really? Even if I coated it in crushed Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, I don't think I could write an accurate description of Maddox that wouldn't send the typical person-looking-for-a-nice-cat-to-adopt speed walking in the opposite direction of his cage.

But, you know what? Before I even inquired about fostering him, I knew taking in a less-adoptable senior cat with special needs would be nothing like beefing up and socializing three adorably sweet kittens (who would - barring something disastrous - have no trouble getting adopted). And I was prepared to deal with the fallout (read: keep him).

Maddox's groupies

And this is why, for the foreseeable future, I won't be fostering any other less-adoptable adult cats***! :-) (And please, Powers-that-be, if it's all the same, one Buster-look-alike Cardi-cat is plenty for me. Thank you. Amen.)

And folks, I think that's about it. Glad we're clear (on why I kept Maddox) now!

* No, I didn't adopt him because of this; I became fixated on him because of this!
** Of course, these aren't all the reasons: He purrs, follows me around, "speaks" to me, goes gaga over catnip, plays with toys, blends really well with my other cats, and charms my husband (with his looks). Also, we survived Eva's earlier days (so, clearly, we have the patience of Job). Oh, and I love him to pieces. :)
*** Kittens (when the time comes) are still welcome!

Editor's note: Post spottiness continues this week. :( But, on the bright side, spotty is better than nothing, right?! :)