Showing posts with label Dear Tabby. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dear Tabby. Show all posts

Friday, August 5, 2011

Dear Tabby: My Friend Doesn't Play Nicely

Tabbigail VanPurrin
Dear Tabby:

My friend "Don Nearly" (who lives in the same house with me) doesn't understand the rules for playing leap frog. I leap on him first, but when it's his turn, he just mashes me to the ground under his belly.

I've tried yelling at him, but he doesn't listen. And by the time I squeeze out of his grip, my fur is a ruffled mess. To tell you the truth, he's the strangest cat I've ever met - clumsy and unkempt. And he sounds like he's barfing up a lung (or a rat with croup) when he meows. I'm beginning to wonder whether he's a little "off."

How do I get my friend to play nicely without hurting his feelings?

P.S. I included a photo of "Don Nearly" and me to help you decide what to say.

-- Frustrated in Virginia

'Don Nearly' is on the right.
Dear Frustrated:

My sweet, sheltered child, do you live under a box? You will never get Don Nearly (interesting name choice) to play nicely BECAUSE HE IS A BOORISH CLOD DOG!

My best advice, I'm afraid, is to cut off all relations immediately. No self-respecting cat plays leap frog with a dog.

Next!

*****

This is why I don't write an advice column. :)

Hope your weekend plays out nicely!

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