What to Expect at a Cat Cafe (or Shelter Cat Room) When You're a DOG Person #BetterWithPets

Dog people, stay with me; this is for YOU!
Cat people, you stay too. Segregation and exclusion is just plain wrong! Plus I want your input!

Not a meerkat, a mere cat. ☺

So last time we were together, I gave you an overview of the Purina® Better With Pets Summit that I attended earlier this month in Brooklyn, NY. As a quick recap: After having been invited by Nestle Purina to attend, and some excessive celebration, I traveled to NYC to attend the day-long summit on November 3. At the summit I listened to/interacted with a whole bunch of brilliant, highly educated pet people tell interesting stories about how their research, experiences and innovative ideas are improving the emotional wellness of not only our pets, but all of us who love them.

I also divulged how I once ate some of my cat's Purina Cat Chow® and that the dogs and cats might not have been the only cute things at the Brooklyn Expo Center.☺

Me and the co-proprietor of Cybercat Exotics, a NJ-based cat rescue and talent agency.
I forgot to ask the cats for their names. 

And - which brings me to the subject of today's post - I spent 30 minutes inside a room decorated for and full of incredibly social and loving, free roaming cats*.

Dear Dog People: Let's talk about cats for a bit.

But first, let me offer you an analogy: A cat is to a dog as a manual (stick shift) transmission is to a fully automatic. Both cats and dogs are pets, and both types of transmissions come with cars. But - as a person with experience driving both - tell me, who in the heck can just go out and drive a stick shift without learning and practicing a few times? NO ONE! Well, I will argue the same goes for cats!

What I'm saying is, CATS ARE STICK SHIFTS AND DOGS ARE AUTOMATIC. There's a learning curve with both, but cats require just a little more "coordination." A little more practice. And I promise, once you get them, you always will! And they are SO MUCH FUN to drive be around!

Panel 1: An Evolving Relationship With Cats?
L-R: moderator, professor Western Carolina University, Hal Herzog, Ph.D.; Nestle Purina behaviorist, Sandra Lyn, Ph.D.; co-founder Meow Parlour (NYC's 1st cat cafe), Christina Ha; co-owner Feline Minds, Mikel Maria Delgado, Ph.D. candidate, CCBC

A Little Background From the Summit

During the first of the three expert panel discussions, entitled An Evolving Relationship With Cats?, the focus was on the changing nature of our relationship with cats and what that might mean for a new generation of pet owners. What struck me the most during the discussion, and even more so after speaking one-on-one with panelist Christina Ha, co-founder of Meow Parlour, NY's first cat cafe, and spending quality time in the interactive cat room, was that cat cafes and shelter cat rooms are completely underutilized.

By dog people†.

But we can do something about that, right?

Who's ready to go with me to a cat cafe?

What do you mean you're not sure? You already see cats all day on social media and you can do that at the office?

Oh wait, no! Silly me; you've got the wrong idea!

Kitty ain't got time for social media. Also? Those are cat people. Pressing the kitty "clutch" and shooting pics at the same time.
Show-offs.

A cat cafe is a place where people go to chill out, with other people and REAL LIVE (not two-dimensional social media) cats!

It's true! Imagine your local coffee shop, except without the serving counter (health regulations in the U.S. prohibit the preparation and selling of food and beverages on site with animals; however, one can purchase these items nearby and bring them into the cat cafe to consume), decorated with kitty-friendly furnishings and toys and most tellingly: occupied by plenty of free-roaming (probably adult**) cats!

Where do the cats in the cat cafe come from? Do I bring my own?

First of all, NO, you do not bring your own! Second of all, at least at the Meow Parlour in NY, according to Ha, the cats come from a local cat rescue in partnership with the cafe. According to research (discussed on the panel), cats are most happy being with other cats, especially when they are in a stressful (e.g., shelter) environment, where they have little control. In fact, more timid shelter cats - who've previously been overlooked by potential adopters - after being placed in free-roaming group settings (like a cat cafe***), will gradually gain confidence, come out of their shells around people, and find their forever homes in no time!

And you know what else? When one (say you or I) is at ease in the cat cafe environment? All those kitties are like the best natural chill pill after a long day that a person could possibly imagine!

Syxx is chillin' not illin'.

A Dog Person's Guide to Experiencing a Cat Cafe
(or dedicated room full of free-roaming cats, like for example, at your local animal shelter)

OK, so here we are, at the front door (probably glass, so you can see through it). Let's go in!

These are cat people. Do not try this without certification. Also, put the phone down. There's plenty of time for that later. 

IMPORTANT! Before you do anything, stop and take it all in! Don't just go rushing over to the first cat you see.

Cats, in fact, MUCH PREFER THAT YOU BE STILL AND ALLOW THEM TO COME TO YOU.

A vertical kitty wonderland...just think how much floor space they saved!

Kitty in the sky with cat grass.

Did you notice the cat on the wall shelf? Good! It's OK, that's what the shelves are there for. Cats - as natural climbers - feel safe when they're ABOVE most everything else. But they always come down, eventually. And, don't worry, it won't be on top of your unsuspecting head.

So, scope out a comfy couch or chair or beanbag, and settle in!

Obviously, this picture was taken before the cats arrived. 

Now, you will undoubtedly notice that cats are NOTHING LIKE DOGS, for instance:

<> No one is going to rush you for your danish or other portable snack food (if you brought any in). Cats  - being carnivores - do not care for these items. You will, in fact, be able to eat in peace.

<> No one is going to rush you at all, for any reason. Remember, cats DO enjoy human companionship, but they can take a while getting around to it. (Unless you're dealing with a SUPER friendly kitty who wants to jump in your lap as soon as your butt hits the cushion. This is also normal. All cats are different. Do not be alarmed if a friendly kitty plops in your lap.)

Jon Farleigh and Dewi tried to be like Bobby Flay O'Fish for 10 minutes. It was the worst 10 minutes - other than when the neuter drugs wore off - ever.

So it's been five looong minutes, but zero kitties are within petting distance yet?

Relax (like literally, sink into that couch and take a load off)! It'll happen!

The mouse is spiked. 

A WORD ABOUT EYE CONTACT

Cats sometimes squint when they're looking at people. This does not mean they have a speck of dust lodged in their eye. Or that they are giving you the stink-eye, are disinterested, or sizing you up for a meal. It actually means that the cat LIKES YOU. Squinty eye contact means kitty is relaxed and views you as non-threatening. (Big, wide eyes would be a problem, in comparison.) Feel free to go ahead and pet squinty-eyed kitty (if she's not already in your lap or rubbing all over you). And no worries, you don't need to squint back. Normal people eyes are OK (just don't hold contact any longer than you'd want a stranger to do to you)!

15 minutes later...



Excuse me, Elizabeth, but I was just sitting here petting one kitty and now there are FOUR KITTIES surrounding me on the couch!

Oh yay! That's because they ALL want to be your friend! ☺ Don't worry about trying to pet all of them, though, cats are content just hanging out nearby. You decide whether you want to visit with each kitty or not.

Oh, and that drop in blood pressure you might be experiencing? Do you hear the purring? Did you know scientific studies have shown that the decibel range of a domestic cat's purr can improve human health, including lowering blood pressure, stress, and even healing of bone and muscle injuries? It can! Shoot, it might even put you straight to sleep...

Hey, wake up, you! No dozing 'til the end!

So, you've been here a while. Had a snack and some coffee. Hung out with a few happy cats...

Think you could get used to it? Maybe get on the floor and toss some toys around next time? Or even pick up a willing kitty and hold it a little (some cats love to be held, and others not; you just have to try them and see)?

You know? If you like it here that much, you could always adopt your favorite and take her/him home! Or even better - take TWO home!

Great job today, y'all! Let's do this again!

Check y'all later. 

There are so many things I learned from the summit that I've not covered. For more information, including expert bios, go here.

* Most (if not all) of the cats in the kitty room belonged to NJ-based rescue, Cybercat Exotics.

** Adult cats are favored over kittens because the older cats - who might otherwise be looked over for adoption - are simply most in need of confidence-building and human socialization. Plus kittens fall asleep at the flit of a fly. And well, who wants to wake a sleeping kitten?

Narcolepsy.

*** Some animal shelters, such as my local Richmond SPCA, have free-roaming cat rooms with open visitation for potential adopters. Not only does it help make matches for the homeless animals, but it's wonderful for their socialization and reducing people stress. I should know!

† Also possibly by men and older-than-millennials, but that's a topic for another day. 

Cat behavior facts discussed at the summit are in blue. 

Photo credit Purina (unless the photo is grainy, in which case, it's mine). 

For the latest updates, follow Purina on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.


So tell me, who'd be up for visiting a cat cafe in real life? Has anyone ever been to one? How about a free-roaming kitty room at a local animal shelter? If yes, how did it make you feel?

Yes, Virginia, Cats Do Purr in Heaven (and Here's Why)

So yesterday - in a typical bout of deep thought - I found myself questioning (for the first time ever) whether cats purr in Heaven. And if they do, why? I mean, since it seems that cats purr on Earth mostly to express contentment, wouldn't it be redundant, or wasted energy, for them to purr in Heaven? Because, duh, it's Heaven, and they'd be purring non-stop!

But then, the thought of never getting to hear cats purr in Heaven made me sad (assuming I'll be joining them there), because besides Dewi making wookiee noises, babies laughing, mockingbirds singing and waves crashing, I can't think of many other noises from nature that I enjoy half as much as a cat's contented purring. sigh

But before I could get all sad about not wanting to go to a Heaven without cat purrs, I told myself to step back and consider the question from another angle: maybe cats purr because they're happy on Earth, but for some other reason in Heaven? Then I looked over and saw Maddox, and thought, Maddox doesn't purr a whole lot, but when he does he gets all into it, with gurgling noises and kneading...and then, I thought of my new t-shirt that shows a kitty baking bread, and I thought, GREAT SCOTT, THAT'S IT! Cats purr and knead when they're happy on Earth (due to memories of their mama's milk bar, I suspect), but in Heaven, cats knead and purr BECAUSE THEY'RE MASTER CINNAMON BUN BAKERS! SQUEE!

shirt.woot.com Makin' Bread

Yes, that had to be it! Cats purr in Heaven while they knead the bun dough! (Think about those dwarfs whistling while they work!) And even more, because it's Heaven, cats' breath will no longer smell of tuna, but of vanilla icing, and they won't need claws or teeth, nor will they shed (but they'll still look the same, just a little fluffier, like unicorns) and EVERYBODY will love them, because in Heaven, everybody loves warm, kitty-made-with-love cinnamon buns! 

Oh, and then I remembered that my Maddox (like lots of other cats) has extra toes on his paws (polydactyl), and was like, OH MY GOSH! Polydactyl cats, in Heaven, are like Jedi Master bun makers! They're the cats in charge of teaching all the standard, 5-toed kitties how to knead cinnamon bun dough to angels' standards! And, you guys, the stars (might have) aligned in the East and it all made perfect sense! Imagine how soundly I slept last night!

And now? I'd like a warm, sticky Cinnabon, thank you! Wouldn't you? ☺

***

This post is dedicated to the life and memory of my dear, sweet Eva kitty, whom my family unexpectedly lost last week (from what was likely advanced lymphoma). I wrote about it on Facebook, where you can find more details. 

Post by The Chronicles of Cardigan.

Three years ago, I wrote another post about Eva; her purrs were top-of-mind that day, too (though for different reasons). It was, and remains, a celebration of my unlikely bond with this cat. Here it is again, in its entirety. Thank you for celebrating Eva with me!

Originally published on March 22, 2012...

Why I'm Head-Over-Heels for My Oft-Hateful, Once Borderline-Feral Cat

We (I) rescued Eva a few years ago from a life on the lam. She showed up on my front porch out of the blue one day, covered in ticks and half-starved. She was far from reciprocal of my attempts at friendship, but grateful for a meal.

For weeks after taking her in, I agonized that I'd made a HUGE mistake in keeping her. She never came out of the basement except to eat, and she distrusted (and therefore, treated with disdain) every human in my house. It was awful.

But then slowly, after - I presume - she began to view us (especially me because I'm the one who was with her most of the day) as not threats so much, but colony members, she made more and more appearances and even allowed some limited handling (meaning, only from the front and only her head and neck).

It wasn't much, but it was enough to give me hope.

Weeks and months passed, and so did Eva's penchant for lonely basement living. And while she still preferred to see the human's hand before it made contact with her fur, once it did, she clearly enjoyed it, narrowing her eyes and belting out choruses of idling lawn mower engines in the distance.

Then one day she followed me.

Not to her empty bowl. Not to the pantry where the cat treats are dispensed. Not to the couch where the bowl of ice cream I'd just finished would be placed on the floor for her licking pleasure (yes, I do).

But simply to the place where I was going.

Because on that day, in that moment, all she (this borderline-feral, emotionally-scarred animal) wanted was me.

***

On a typical morning around here, the cats curl up in their favorite out-of-the-dogs'-reach place and nap for a good two-three hours.

Eva's preferred napping place is in my bedroom, even though I have to shut the door behind her to keep the dogs from running in and wreaking havoc.

When I opened that door today, Eva raised her head in typical fashion, had a good stretch and was eager to participate in the morning's activities (eating, cat box-visiting and self-grooming in a sunbeam, in that order).

So today, like most days, she made her way to the kitchen - where the dogs eagerly awaited their after-breakfast snack. However, unlike most days, she didn't keep to the rest of her routine.

You see, while the dogs were still frolicking in the kitchen, I'd made my way back down the hall to my bedroom. I almost got there, too.

But then, I heard the bell on the cat's collar, then galloping footsteps, and just as I was about to cross the threshold of my bedroom door, she flew past me in a blur of black fur. And when she turned, flashed me a look of adoration that beckoned like a magnet to steel.

And it hit me like a ton of bricks.

Eva'd returned to the very place she'd just eagerly left. However, not for food nor water. Not for an after-dinner grooming session, nor to satisfy any other cat-ly need. 

It was simply because it was where I was going.

Because today, in that moment, all she (my borderline-domestic, cherished family pet) wanted was me.

So, I shut the door behind us and held reverie in the chorus of idling lawn mower engines in the distance.

NWT Custom Artisan Pet Tag, Engraved With 'Tessa' and My Phone # - Buy It Now, OBO

What have I done?

I told my family that I'd decided to change my 15+-year-old cat Tigger's name. After all these years.

Why?

Because I never got to name her. (She was dumped as a kitten, before I knew her, on a residential construction site, and my future neighbor - who'd been feeding her - had already decided to call her Tigger. When we finally moved into the neighborhood, and I convinced my husband to let me bring Tigger inside forever, I was too worried about offending my neighbor to change it.)

But you guys, I've never liked the name Tigger - for my Tigger. It's the name of a bouncing cartoon tiger, for Pete's sake! With a big, bounding MALE voice! My Tigger, however (although striped, I'll admit that), is small - both in stature and voice, prissy and has never bounced over anything in her life!

She is just simply: not a Tigger.

But my family balked. They told me I was being "insensitive" for changing the old girl's - no, fragile feline flower's name, after fifteen years. And, "who was I to confuse the poor cat at this stage in her life, anyway?"

And I rebutted. I told them I'd picked a new name that wasn't that far away (phonetically) from the current one, and that since we rarely call her by her given name, anyway (preferring Wiggles, Nenga Nenga, Tinkles and Stripey Girl, to name a few), Tigger probably wouldn't even notice!

The new name - I was sure - would be a perfect, feminine moniker: everyone would love it, and Tigger (who - being a cat - has to depend on me to make these types of life-altering decisions for her) would be able to leave this life (in 10 or so years), having a GIRL'S name that she could be proud of!

That name, friends, was: Tessa.

And, as a means to prove my resolve in the matter, I went straight to Etsy, hunted down and ordered, a beautiful new, perfect, shiny, delicate, feminine, distinctly Tigger (except, not Tigger, but Tessa), custom ID tag.

Fetch-A-Passion Tags: So beautiful, but expect at least 3 weeks to ship from Canada.

Just look how lovely it is!

The problem? In the three weeks it took for the tag to arrive from Canada (Canada Post, friends, is a mite slow in getting things to the US), I got this...

Betcha can't guess which one is Tessa.

An itty bitty, mini-Tigger foster kitten from the Richmond SPCA!

And what do you think (even though her shelter name is Josephine) I immediately decided to call her?

Yes (you are SO smart), Tessa!

My family had exactly zero objections. Her name has been Tessa since September 15. The tag arrived about a week after she got here. And since you entertained the thought privately, YES, I fantasized about flunking my fostering duties, leaving Tigger's name as is, and giving my newly-adopted kitten, Tessa Jr., the brand new ID tag! ....One day, when she weighs enough to wear the shiny new purple collar I bought her in a fit of weakness, and not topple over with the weight of all that metal dangling from it.

But, I can't adopt Tessa. Do you know how many cats I already have? And, please? Did you see her?

She's perfect! She won't last a long minute in that shelter, before someone (else) becomes smitten and totes her home*!

So, here I am, with this sweet little Tessa tag. That arrived just a week too late. :(

I can't exactly pass it along to the shelter now, can I? It has my phone number on it, after all.

And, I wouldn't feel right putting it on Tigger, either. Not until the memories of (the much younger) Tessa have faded, anyway.

:::sigh:::

So, there have been crazier things listed on Ebay, right?

Anyone have any sage advice? I don't wanna put the pretty little tag away in a dark drawer. Plus, I still don't like the name Tigger for my Tigger. Would you change your pet's name? What to do? What to do?!

* Tessa is due to be returned to the Richmond SPCA on November 3, at which time (during the week) she'll be spayed, microchipped and placed for adoption. 

Jon Farleigh's first foster kitten kiss. 

☺

Is it a fruit bat, you ask? Nope, it's actually my new FOSTER KITTEN!

So, in the 300 or so years (hours?) since I last wrote on this blog, all kinds of relevant* things have happened in my life - not the least of which was this...

...which ended up like this...

...all while I was trying to be on vacation! 

* Relevant, as opposed to irrelevant things, e.g., all the times my kids left the door open and let the flies in, or that at least twice a day, a hair falls out of my scalp unbeknownst to me, lands on my bare skin, and makes me think I have a spider crawling on me that I can't flipping see.

Well, guess what? I faked the hack! (not really) Just to collect the (nonexistent) blog-hack insurance money! I got 23 cents, less shipping and handling, which, all told, left me owing a dollar and 18 cents. I do not recommend faking your own blog hack, people. It's not worth it. Just go out and recruit a couple legitimate bloggers (who write well and make good pictures) to do it for you. Please let them think it was their idea, though. You know, so they won't think you're a complete nut job, and wonder whether they need to report you to the FBBI (Federal Bureau of Bozo Impersonators). You don't wanna be on the run from those guys. Trust me.

OK, so where was I? Oh yeah! Stuff that's happened while I've not been writing! Y'all! I've got a bunch of pictures to post from my vacation (most of which include animals), but those are gonna have to wait until another day. That's because I have much more pressing news to share...

And his name is Fitzwilliam Darcy McDrool (Mr. Darcy McDrool, because he drools when he purrs), but you can call him TRAVIS*!

* Travis being his real name. I made up the other one, because I have a major crush on Travis, just like I have one on Mr. Darcy in Pride and Prejudice.

But, lady, I don't even like peaches!

NO, he's NOT a fruit bat (I already told you that); he's my four-month-old foster kitten from the Richmond SPCA, and we're already into week three of his four-week stay!

Here, have another, less batty look...

Hey, that's not "beef purr-gundy;" it's apple butter!

Oops. Hold on...

There's this, and have a peek at these...

Isn't he handsome?!

FYI: Phone charger cords come in a variety of colors, including fuchsia. 

This is his Vogue, angry model look. Underneath, he's a real pussycat. ;)

And, finally, (my favorite, a little artsy)...

What a babe!

* Cell phone photography courtesy Eldest Child. The editing (in PicMonkey) is mine. 

Here's Travis' adoption profile on the Richmond SPCA website. 

(Yes, HE IS AVAILABLE FOR ADOPTION!)

I assure you the Travis in this photo is the same Travis who appears in all of my photos. The difference is that in his adoption profile, the sun wasn't shining directly into his eyes. Sweet boy. 

So, I was sitting on my return flight home from Florida, waiting on the tarmac for takeoff, when I spotted an email on my cell phone from the foster care coordinator at the SPCA. The subject read: Kitten Foster Care. My being a registered foster care provider, I see lots of emails during kitten season, bearing the same subject line. It kills me every time, as taking care of under-vaccinated wee ones, alongside my existing feline crew, is just not feasible. 

However, this email was different. It wasn't the wee ones who needed fostering, so much as the older (3-4 months old), fully vaccinated ones, who'd been waiting for cage space on the adoption floor, and (the clincher) were perfectly fine interacting with existing cats in the home. I thought about it for exactly 79 seconds. Then, while still seated on the tarmac of Orlando International Airport, I volunteered.

Travis was in my home the next morning. I hadn't even unpacked. 

And, you know what? I would do it again in a frazzled, morning-of-the-first-day-of-school minute! (Did I mention today was the first day of school? Oh, well it was! It's also my kid's birthday! And there's another birthday tomorrow! Awesome times, yo!)

So, there you have it! The most important (in a humanitarian sense, that is) relevant thing that's happened in the 300 400 or so years (minutes?) since I've written on this blog!

Do you know anyone in the Richmond, Virginia area who might want to give a silky gray, dog- and cat-socialized, purring, drooling (only when he's reeeealy happy), sweet-smelling, fuzzy, cuddly, hilarious, space-saving kitten a permanent, loving home???? (Think really hard, OK!) If so, will you share this post? Or simply Travis' adoption profile? 

Oh yes, and you'll want to mention these adoption perks!

He'll be staying with me until the week of September 12-19, at which point, if he hasn't already been adopted, he'll join several other kittens on the Richmond SPCA adoption floor. (sigh)

Thanks for reading and listening, everybody! I'll be back as soon as I can with those wild beast pictures from my vacation! (You think I'm kidding...)