Thursday, October 13, 2011

10 Reasons Why Dogs Make Better Pets than Aquasaurs

We have some new "pets" in the house. They came in a box:

Now they're in here:
Branded for sale (to children) as Aquasaurs (think Sea Monkeys), they are actually a fresh water crustacean called Triops or tadpole shrimp, but unlike Sea Monkeys, which only grow to be about 1/2 inch long and look like this (no they do NOT turn into tiny mer-folk wearing crowns):
Sea Monkey: on scale of 10, gross factor 4
When Aquasaurs grow up, they can get up to two inches (5 cm) long and look like this:
Aquasaur: on scale of 10, gross factor 9.9
We have one two-incher - Herman - in our tank. :)

So although Herman (and his smaller siblings) technically belong to Youngest Child, I am their primary caretaker. And thus, I thought it might be fun to share a few reasons why I believe dogs (and well, cats too) make much better pets. Here we go.

1. Dogs do not spontaneously reproduce when you add water. (Those would be Gremlins.)

2. Dogs will not suffer frost bite and die at temps lower than 70 degrees F (21 C).

3. Nor will they evaporate at temps greater than 80 F (27 C).
nice and comfy at 74 F
4. Dogs don't need to sit under a heat lamp 24x7 (see #s 2&3).

5. Dogs' kibble does not need to be pulverized into a fine powder before feeding.

6. Dogs are not cannibals.

7. Dogs only have two eyes (vs. three).

8. Dogs do not grow at a rate of 1,000,000:1 in 48 hours. Refer below.
Day 1 Aquasaur:

[in here somewhere]

What, you can't see it? Hint: Use a microscope.

Day 2 Aquasaur:
vs.
Five-week-old Jon Farleigh:
Can't I just stay little for a while?
9. Dogs cannot be sucked into the vacuum cleaner and will not accidentally go down the drain.

10. Dogs generally live longer than 20-90 days.

*****

I think that about does it. :) 

Happy Thursday.

14 comments:

  1. LOL. Thanks for the laugh.

    Of seamonkeys and other "gross factor" things: anything that can come to life via re-hydration just seems wrong to me. ;)

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  2. WEll you have certainly curbed my desire to raise Aquasaurs's and other gross things.


    Bert

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  3. okay, those things are scawy
    Benny & Lily

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  4. I remember when we were kids and my brother got sea monkeys. We really thought they would start building castles and such just like it showed on the box. Doh! Kids can be so literal....

    I am all about cute cuddly pets.

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  5. Really, next to a five week old Jon Farleigh what could possibly compete?

    Those little aquatic buggers have three eyes?! There is something wrong with that.

    Just.
    wrong.

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  6. haha that thing is so weird!!! My ex bf always wanted sea monkeys so I bought him some...never did find out what happened with those things LOL

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  7. I've never heard of them, maybe they haven't made it to New Zealand? I much prefer a Jon Farleigh of any age to an Aquasaur, not just in looks:) But the little sea monkeys are kind of cute.

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  8. Very funny. I've tried twice with those things and had no luck. I can't believe you have a two-incher! They are pretty gross, though.
    I also think its hilarious that the dogs won't leave the bed until the cat moves.

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  9. Ew! John Farleigh is much more adorable! (and snuggly . .you forgot about the fact that dogs and cats can snuggle!!)

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  10. @Leslie - Yes, it's weird, like "Quaker Instant Brine Shrimp...and Grits" (I may never eat shrimp and grits again...I'm southern, BTW) :)

    @2brownDawgs - I thought Sea Monkeys would look like the pictures on the box (as a kid), too. :)

    @Laurie - Yes, three eyes, and little mouths with TEETH. :)

    @Greyhounds can Sit - I don't think New Zealand is missing much. :) I'm becoming more and more fond of the Sea Monkey myself.

    @Gweenbrick - You took my bait! :) (KIDDING!) So glad you stopped by.

    You tried twice? Well, truth be told, what you see is my second try. I gave the first batch frost bite. :( Yeah, Herman is freakishly big; can't wait until I find him floating on his back one morning (not).

    @Julie - So true - I don't even think Herman's mama would want to snuggle him. :)

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  11. Bwahahahaha!!! Thanks for the good laugh, Mother of Dewi and Jon Farleigh.

    Robin

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  12. Elizabeth raises Aquasaurs so you don't have to.

    Thank you. Thank you.

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  13. These are possibly the scariest "pet" I have ever seen. I'd rather have a gremlin.

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