Monday, February 20, 2012

How My Itchy Ear Canals Prove that I Really Like You

It snowed at my house last night. That is a BIG deal for a few reasons:

  • It's late winter in my part of Virginia and this is our first measurable snowfall. (Measurable = it at least skims the end of a ruler that's resting flush with the earth.)
  • Youngest Child's faith in Old Man Winter is restored.
  • I need closure on winter before I am emotionally ready for spring, and in my mind, winter is not complete without at least one snowfall. (I'm strange.)
  • I can now participate in the upcoming spring season, without regret. 
  • There was tremendous photo opportunity during Jon Farleigh and Dewi's snow romp this morning.


The beginnings of a snow romp. Picture quality: Meh.

So now that I've cleared that up for you, allow me to drill that last bullet point down a little deeper.

About a split second after I snapped that picture up there (despite the blinding glare from the snow), I saw the "light" (shining on my bad camera angle) and decided that (in order to get the best shots of the dogs - with which to impart cheer on my awesome readers) I'd have to get down on their level (in the snow) to take them. 

Same shot as above, different angle. Picture quality: Relatively, not bad.

Unfortunately, I was still wearing my paper-thin flannel pajama pants. 

But being the lazy determined person I am, I decided (not to risk losing the shots in order to go inside and put on some jeans, but) to just squat down as low as possible (without toppling over on my practically exposed a**). 





I'm pretty sure I made the right call.


And I didn't even topple over.





In fact, it wan't until about 129 shots later, when Jon Farleigh decided to lie down in a muddy puddle of slush and eat (most likely deer poop), that I noticed my butt was numb and I was decidedly light-headed (which is what happens when one squats down in snow with one's butt on a lower plane than one's knees, until the blood flow is completely cut off from one's brain).


Jon Farleigh (left): Having a deer popsicle
Me (behind the camera): Realizing my rear is a popsicle

So I decided it was time to take the dogs back inside the house.

And I wished (nearly as hard as one might wish for a gas station when one is driving on fumes) that my knees were 10 years younger and actually capable of hoisting my ice-chest-of-a-butt back into the upright position - so I could walk (and not crawl - with my not-waterproof camera - in my pajama pants - through the frozen slush - to my patio - where I could grab hold of a concrete wall and drag myself upright) back into my house.

The next few seconds (or minutes, I don't really know) are a blur, but somehow I managed to remember from my one physics class (or the hazardous weather section of online defensive driving school that I might have just completed) that the best way to dislodge a car (analogous to my butt, of course) from a snow bank is to "rock" it back and forth. So I planted one gloved hand in the snow for balance and proceeded to swing my frozen butt like a pendulum until its sheer momentum caused my rubbery legs to unfurl behind it. I was so elated to be standing again that I didn't even care that I'd half-mooned the driver of a passing service van.


And then I fetched the dogs and we went inside to get warm.

A little while later, as I sat down at the computer to upload all the photos I'd just taken, I became overly aware of the blood circulating in my previously frozen extremities. You know...like when a limb gets all tingly after it's fallen asleep?

And the insides of my ears were oddly itchy.






But aren't these pictures lovely? 

You know I like you, right?
:)

'Til tomorrow, friends!

32 comments:

  1. We would like to play in that snow one day. Are you walking yourself, BOL
    Benny & Lily

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    Replies
    1. Hope you get to, Benny and Lily. And yes, they are walking themselves. :)

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  2. I'd like to get this right. I read the pertinent paragraphs 3 times over. Your butt got frozen stuck into the snow??? OMG, that's another good reason not to like cold weather. UGH. Give me heat and sun. I'd prefer to melt into the bitumen.

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    Replies
    1. Ms. Typist - My butt was hovering over the snow, frozen, my knees were useless, and the blood had drained from my feet and head. I'd like to blame my actions on the cold, but I do equally dumb things (not the picture taking, but the wearing pajamas outside and deciding to prune 47 rose bushes, for example) in oppressive heat and humidity. I do like my cold weather, though. :)

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  3. The things we do for our art! lol The pictures are totally worth it, and hey, you got a great story out of your frozen butt, so it's win/win all the way around!

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  4. I love the rolling in the snow picture, with the adorable little pink paws sticking up into the air.

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    Replies
    1. Zee and K-Koira - The cold snow made his pads a darker pink (Dewi's too). I was so glad that I got that shot.

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  5. How unusual that you southerners got snow, and up here in the northern part of the state, nary a flake!

    Looks like JF and Dewi had a grand time!

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    Replies
    1. Taryn - This storm went from west to east, I think. It is unusual.

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  6. I frequently do similar stuff in my PJ'S, e.g., cut grass, trim trees, pull WEEDS, lay stones (surely can't waste valuable time to go inside and dress appropriatly in 90 degree weather!) However, my PJ's are usually drenched and I feel faint due to deydration, no doubt! My wonderful protector Harry (the cat) follows me around growling at potential intruders who would like to get a closer look at this strange woman...

    The photos of Jon Farleigh and Dewi are awesome as always and I would love to have YOU in a rescue mission if I were stuck in an avalanche!!!

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  7. Great pictures! And you probably made the van-driver's day -- the things we do for love!! How funny (?) that you have snow and in upstate NY we got nuttin. Which is fine, actually--I was hoping the mild winter was a sign that our collective karma is on the good side here; and after the floods, etc. from Irene and then our Hallowe'en snow storm NO ONE is in a hurry for big storms around here for a long long time. Hope you got to sit somewhere nice and warm to thaw out your butt.

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    Replies
    1. Peggy - I'm so glad the storms spared you. I have a friend in Binghamton who's house was flooded after Irene. She is elated that this has been a dry winter.

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    2. That should be WHOSE, not who's. :D

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  8. Well worth it! Whats a little frozen butt in service of a great cause?

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  9. those two are just too cute. you're very lucky to have gotten your "big snowfall". we still really haven't had much to be excited about in long island. i really would like desmond to get a good foot or so to play in before spring. it also would be great it we could get a good freeze going for two weeks or so, otherwise we're all in big trouble with the mosquitoes here on the south shore. i am dreading summer!

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    Replies
    1. Lauren - A good foot or so? :) We call 4 inches a good snowfall. Mosquitoes are evil creatures. We will have them, too.

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  10. Oh my, you really are willing to sacrifice yourself for your art. You'd better be careful. If your knees get too crackly, you'll have to get Great Danes and St. Bernards to get the shots you want!

    BTW, from the look of it, it was entirely worth it. You got some awesome pictures.

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  11. LOL...I SO would have been sprawled out on the snow! I'm impressed - between correlating auto maneuvering with frozen-squatted position, and succeeding in obtaining some really awesome photos, you aced it! Thanks for the itchy ears, much appreciated :)

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  12. So funny! I could use some ten-year-younger knees as well, but the pictures are definitely worth it. And now, thanks to your post, I know how to get out of the squatting position the next time I'm stuck. =)

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  13. The pictures are definitely worth it :) Hope your tushy recovered! Glad that you can put winter behind you (no pun intended) - C'mon SPRING!!!

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    1. Julie - Yes, that pun was intended. :)

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  14. Those pictures are great! Definitely worth the frozen butt thing. lol! I love how pink Jon Farleighs' paw pads look in that fourth picture. :)

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  15. Great pictures!! My butt is always frozen in the winter too..

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  16. OMG - you're 'cracking' me up! (Sorry...)

    Those pictures are absolutely worth every less-than-comfortable moment you spent recovering from getting them. That last series is amazing! What a difference perspective makes, though, huh?

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  17. I don't know what Dante would make of snow, but hopefully he'd play as cute as these two! Definitely worth the knee pain, I feel, these photos are fantastic. :)

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    Replies
    1. Dante would love snow, I think. Thanks, Trude. :)

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  18. Okay, after reading these comments, I'm starting to get mental pictures of many of you in various contorted positions. Like virtual blog friend Twister. OMG. :P

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  19. These photos are absolutely fantastic!

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