Thursday, November 6, 2014

Classic Cardigan Double Feature: Things That've Happened While My Pets Watched Me Pee

So, while I was peeing this morning, watching Bertie (cat) and Jon Farleigh tinkering around next to my shoes, and reminiscing about the time I discovered baby Bertie hiding in the TP storage basket, I snapped these photos. (OK, I didn't snap them while I was peeing, it was after the fact. I don't use cameras over an open bowl. That's just bad hygiene, not to mention I can't afford to buy a new iPhone.)

And then, I thought it might be fun to post the before and after shots, so you can see how much he's grown.

Bertie Before

Bertie After
(Totally giving Jon Farleigh the "I'll slap you" eye in this shot.)

He couldn't fit in that basket if he was a contortionist in the circus.

Not-so-babyish Bertie is 2.5 years old now (and so handsome)!

This is what Jon Farleigh looked like 2.5 years ago, as he watched me pee.

Note: In case you already forgot, I don't use cameras over an open bowl; therefore, that photo was staged, after the fact. I was sitting there pretending to be peeing.

There is no "After" photo of Jon Farleigh, either. He looks exactly the same today, even down to the recently blown undercoat (which is why he looks so skinny).

I wonder why our pets like to attend to our toileting matters so much? Perhaps because they just like our company? Want our undivided attention? Need to make sure we don't get sucked in? Or maybe, they just think it's what they're supposed to do, since we're always watching them pee and all?

Bertie on his throne. Clearly, he believes he's King of the World.  ☺
(Pardon the graininess; the photo was taken stealthily.)

Well, whatever it is, I guess it's OK. I think I'd become lonely if I had to start peeing by myself, after all this time.

There was that one time, even, when I was so touched by Jon Farleigh's lavatory devotion, that I wrote him a poem about it. I'll be happy to reshare it here, since you've probably forgotten the words by now.

Stick around after you get to the end, too, and I'll retell the story about how I heard purring from the commode, but I was the only living thing visible in the room. (Totally true.)

OK, enjoy! And happy toileting!

Originally published on March 21, 2012...

On Canine Devotion: Poetry from the Loo

My Dearest Jon Farleigh, 

It is you
Who dutifully accompanies me to the loo

Like a sentry stationed there,
Just beyond my underwear.

But for your quiet presence,
I'd surely not escape the dark menace

Who stalks me from the floor,
Staring through the bathroom door.

My trusted canine friend
Through thick and thin.

Gentle Corgi.



Originally published on October 30, 2012...

((ring)) 'Hello?' 'Is your toilet purring?'

"Er...uh...I guess?"

"Then you better hurry up and CYA (cover your @ss)!"


(Note: The Chronicles of Cardigan does not endorse making prank calls. It's just wrong. ;)


True Story...

While an unsuspecting human was "resting" on the toilet, thinking deep thoughts (like about all the Reese's cups she/he couldn't wait to lift from her/his kids' Halloween candy, for example), she/he suddenly became aware of a loud purring in the seemingly barren bathroom.

Barren Bathroom (human on toilet removed)

"WHAT THE FUDGE?!" wondered the human.

Then, after straining to bend over far enough (without becoming dethroned) to check the crack under the door (and briefly pondering lifting one butt cheek for a quick backward glance), she determined that the purring was coming from the toilet paper storage receptacle on the floor.


And thus, Bertie's secret zen place was no longer a secret.

~ The End ~

Do any of you have a pet-related, human-toilet anecdote to share? Your pets DO watch you pee, right?


  1. LOL and peeps always says I am protecting her from the toilet monster. Have a fabulous Friday.
    Best wishes Molly

  2. A whole post on peeing! That's not something you see everyday ;-)

  3. My gang all have to come in and check on us too. Scarlett, the youngest, will actually kick in the door if you make the mistake of shutting it before she is enters the room! lol My daughter's friend was not given fair warning about their need to oversee any and all bathroom activity and was quite shocked when they all burst in on her while she was sitting on the pot! :)

  4. Rita sometimes swings by to say hi when I'm peeing, but not always, and she never stays to hang out. She used to be SUPER shy about doing her business, so maybe she thinks I want some privacy too. And I appreciate that!

  5. I admit to using my phone on the toilet but my worst fear is dropping my phone in. I don't know what it is about the toilet but Gretel always up in my lap. There are times when it is REALLY inconvenient :)

  6. I agree. I think this is your first post dedicated to pets watching you pee. My old cate used to always come into the bathroom when taking care of biz. It was strange.


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