Friday, August 5, 2011

Dear Tabby: My Friend Doesn't Play Nicely

Tabbigail VanPurrin
Dear Tabby:

My friend "Don Nearly" (who lives in the same house with me) doesn't understand the rules for playing leap frog. I leap on him first, but when it's his turn, he just mashes me to the ground under his belly.

I've tried yelling at him, but he doesn't listen. And by the time I squeeze out of his grip, my fur is a ruffled mess. To tell you the truth, he's the strangest cat I've ever met - clumsy and unkempt. And he sounds like he's barfing up a lung (or a rat with croup) when he meows. I'm beginning to wonder whether he's a little "off."

How do I get my friend to play nicely without hurting his feelings?

P.S. I included a photo of "Don Nearly" and me to help you decide what to say.

-- Frustrated in Virginia

'Don Nearly' is on the right.
Dear Frustrated:

My sweet, sheltered child, do you live under a box? You will never get Don Nearly (interesting name choice) to play nicely BECAUSE HE IS A BOORISH CLOD DOG!

My best advice, I'm afraid, is to cut off all relations immediately. No self-respecting cat plays leap frog with a dog.



This is why I don't write an advice column. :)

Hope your weekend plays out nicely!


  1. Excellent advice. Don Nearly's sister believes that the best way to 'play' with the cat is to chase her down the hallway, or harass her while she's trying to sleep on the bed, or corner her in a bedroom or bathroom. Kitty is not amused. Don Nearly's father had early training from a nasty cat and he now believes that all kitties are out to kill him so when a cat gets near him, he fears for his life.

  2. BOL...Lily plays leap frog with me..those rules are nutty
    Benny & Lily

  3. I wonder if Allred would play leap frog with me, right out the door and into the street.

    Allred is not a cat, he is the devil.......


  4. I want a dog now, just so I can see how my cats would interact with it.

  5. At least it's not the kind of "leapfrog" that his buddy "Dewayne" likes to play. Heh heh heh!

  6. @RDM - GA and JF (I mean DN) would be BAD news together. :)

    @Bert - Tee hee. :) "out the door and into the street"

    @Shanimal - Your kitties might disown you, just like "Tabbigail" has disowned me. (Of course, she hates Eva and Lulabelle, too. Antisocial thing.) :(

    @Builder Mama - Oh, but HE DOES play leapfrog like his friend "Dwayne." Lula's too naive/dumb to notice. (It's a sad, sad sight to see.) :)

  7. oh ewww ... a c-a-t post? ;p tabbigail haha!!!

    just dropping by to say hi. hope you guys are having a brill summer. 3 more weeks and it'll be OUR turn again. woohoo! (cue wicked laughter).

    hugs xox

  8. @GLP - SQUEEEE! You came out from under your blankie!

    Hope you are staying out of trouble; we can't imagine the escapades you've been keeping to your pigdog-self. :)

    Maybe summer will inspire your Typist to throw us a "crumb" photo of you. Please see what you can do. :)
    JF, D and E

  9. Aldo wouldn't play with any of them. He thinks he's people!


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