Thursday, May 31, 2012

Terrible Tales with Jon Farleigh: Purrassic Park

(As told around a campfire to a bunch of eager "Pup" Scouts with short attention spans.)

Listen up; this is scary stuff.

My best friend Dewi and I could hardly contain our excitement, imagining the thrills we were gonna have chasing the three "clone" kitties that our Mom person had brought home for us the day before. 

We hadn't seen them go into the room-where-it-rains that first day, but we could hear their faint mewing and smell their "not-quite-cat" (because they were created special, just for our amusement) scent from underneath the door. We just knew something wonderful awaited us because of all the time Mom and all our other peeps were spending in there getting things ready. 

On the afternoon that she invited us to follow her through our sleeping room to the door separating us from our adventure, we were so excited that we forgot our manners and shoved past Mom's legs, through the cracked doorway and into A TERRIBLE NIGHTMARE!

They're gonna rush me in 30 seconds.

At first the creatures seemed harmless enough (they were tiny), but then, before I could even decide which one's butt to sniff first, they rushed me!

All three of the tiny carnivorous monsters came at me with such conviction that I began to fear for my safety (no cat in its right mind rushes a strange dog; they had to be mutants out to make a meal out of me!). 

So I let out a half-chortle, half-cry and scampered away from the beasts as fast as I could!

(It was sadly too late for my friend Dewi, as the menacing fur balls had already transformed him into a minion through mutant feline mind control.)

Dewi: Whatever you ask, I do.

But wherever I went, they came after me (that is, when they weren't lapping up what must have been minced dog meat from a silver platter)! 


Alas, there was no where left for me to turn...except the place where it sometimes rains on my people. 

Oh, please no.

I'm so doomed.

So I went in because it wasn't raining then, BUT THEY FOLLOWED ME! And just when I thought my life was over...


And wouldn't you know all those horrible fake cats wheeled around and went straight after her? That's when I slipped out and hid in the room with the big white bowl...and waited.

Then, next thing I knew it was raining, and the noise caused those little terrorists to run back over in my direction. But just inches before I was a goner, I ran straight into the torrential rain and did not budge. I was soaking wet, but safe (because like real cats, the mutants didn't like getting water on their fur). Whew!

If I get in there, I will melt.

In the end, Mom made the rain stop and wrapped me up in a towel. 

I was relieved when she said my adventure was over. Dewi was too (once he snapped out of his trance).

I think I'd like to take a break from adventures and eat more snacks.

The End

Sweet dreams, everyone! ;)

P.S. This is absolutely how Jon Farleigh got wet (he's slightly afraid of the foster kitties; poor dude). Nice job guessing the correct answer on the poll!


  1. OMD, Jon Farleigh - I'll rescue can come stay with me until the cat-aliens are gone from your house!! Quick, pack your bags, I'll be right over!
    CindyLu xx
    p.s. - Dogs rule, cats drool.

  2. Poor baby!! Don't worry - those kittens just want to love you!!!

  3. Better scared of them than thinking they are a snack! My guys would have seen nothing but MMmmmmGood!

    My next door neighbor has a small black cat they let outdoors occasionally. My guys chase it mercilessly. The same neighbors have now gotten a small black puppy. The first time my guys saw him, they were sure it was the cat and gave chase. They were totally surprised when he didn't run for the hills, but wanted to play instead.

  4. Oh, I have a hopeless case of the giggles now! I knew it had to be the kittens, but darned if it didn't turn out to be even funnier than I imagined!

  5. Wow, you have good manners. Wonder if we would have swallowed them whole. They are adorable
    Benny & Lily

  6. Count your lucky stars, JF. The kitten at our house thought I was a free ride and climbed right on my back! Woofs from your pal Jeffie.

  7. Oh-oh!
    Getting wet.... because of them??
    I hope you are ok!
    Kisses and hugs

  8. Poor Jon Farleigh! That one photo looks more like you're being attacked by a kitten gang, as they close in..dundundundundun..

    Tom xx


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