Friday, July 12, 2013

Classic Cardigan: The Stupidly Shocking Aladdin Parody (and a bonus, or two)

Bonus #1: I did a little (opposite-of-scientific) comparative study that I'd like to share:

Things I Dread Today vs. Things My Dogs Dread Today

Note: At first, I wasn't sure that my dogs were even capable of the dread emotion, but then, I remembered this post, and this post, and this post, and decided that, yes, they in fact are.

Everything is dreadful.

Things I Dread Things My Dogs Dread
Formatting this table in HTML
Not getting enough attention, because they saw me sit down to format this table in HTML
Cleaning my house for company (because in the absence of company, I wouldn't be)
The monsters that will be coming out of the vacuum, dust rag, spray bottle and paper towels, when I start to clean
Going potty after having been in labor for several hours and having a baby
(Okay, fine, I haven't dreaded this for 10 years; it's just that I have trouble un-remembering it at times like this.)
Going potty after having been neutered (And, no, this NEVER happened - the dread part, that is.)

<> HTML is for the birds.
<> No one, human nor animal, should have to clean house.
<> It's just a crying shame we can't warn them about that first trip to the potty. Isn't it?
<> Since I'm full of dread (and, therefore, unable to write something new), this is a great day to re-publish a classic.

~ End of Study ~

Originally published on March 30, 2012...

Aluladdin and the Magic Pumpkin

Once upon a time in a land not far enough away, lived a raven-haired princess named Aluladdin (but who preferred to be called Lula).

Aluladdin is a boy's name. Don't ever call me that.

One day, Lula discovered a mysterious pumpkin on her futon, and out of curiosity, put her paws on it.

I must get this play thing off of here.

And poof!

This better be good. I could've slept another 100 years.

Out of the hollow of the orange gourd - in a pillar of smoke - a snake-eyed, magic Tabby appeared.

"So what's your wish?" barked the Tabby.

"Wha what wish?" answered Lula, dazed and confused.

"Duh! Like you just released me from that slimy gourd, so now - as a (half-hearted) gesture of thanks - I'm gonna grant you one wish.
It's simple. If you could have just one thing in the whole wide world, what would it be?" 

This is my futon; who invited you?

Lula pondered.

"I already have everything I really want," she thought out loud. "Hmm....

Yes, that's it! I've got it!" she exclaimed, like someone who'd just had an epiphany. 

"Well, what is it?" inquired the Tabby.

"I want to be able to speak - with clarity and conviction - two words in English," answered Lula.

"Really? That's it? Of all the things in the whole wide world, you just want to speak two English words?" mused the Tabby.

"Yes, thanks," replied Lula, smugly.

"Okay, whenever you're ready..."

And with that, Lula turned around, walked to the edge of the futon and uttered two words...

And she lived happily ever after.

The End

Bonus #2: Heart-Failure-Worthy, Cute Kitten Photo:

Bobby Flay O'Fish (my foster kitten *UPDATE* foster fail kitten) knows how to take a nap. ♥♥♥

Happy naps and days of not-cleaning, everyone!


  1. LOL we can learn a thing or two from our furends indeed. Sit stay....he he, Have a fabulous Friday.
    Best wishes Molly

  2. Ha ha ha! You're right, no one should have to clean house! Glad Lula got her wish!

  3. Smart kitty! (Always assumed a cat would wish for an endless supply of tuna, so this was very educational as well as entertaining!) :)

  4. OMD - every time I meet a woman who is preggers for the first time I always tell her to EAT PLENTY OF FIBER AFTER GIVING BIRTH!!! No matter what other advice she follows, I tell her that this CANNOT BE STRESSED ENOUGH. Thanks for that moment of dread flashback. *shudder*

  5. I must know how to make the table in html!


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