The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face (Heard Your Bark, Watched You Poop) - A Song Parody

First of all, I'm not apologizing to Roberta Flack (the artist who popularized this song in 1972). She didn't write the song (the relatively unknown Ewan MacColl did). Besides, have you heard Flack's version*?  

And if so, can you remember any words past the first line? Yeah, that's what I thought. So, maybe you'll remember this one (my 100% non-sensual, ridiculous, yet true, dog version) a little better than hers. (And, for that, I am truly sorry. ;)

So, for all the readers who have (or have had) dogs (especially puppies): Can you remember the first time you heard him/her bark? Not in a kennel or puppy pen -- possibly getting drowned out by all the other dogs' barks -- but after getting him home? Did you take note of his bark's unique pitch? Marvel at how deep it was for such a small fella (or lady)? Perhaps (and this one also rings true of parents who've just heard their baby's first babbled word) you felt like announcing over social media how you couldn't be more proud that your new fur baby "used his words" today?! (And later that night -- when he wouldn't go to sleep -- wished you could take it all back.) Am I right??

Because, I did that! I can remember the exact moment 13-week-old Jon Farleigh barked his first bark on the day he was hand-delivered to me: He marched right up to his new sheltie cousin and declared his rightful place in the family. At which point, I duly noted not only that he possessed tenacity, but that the little fuzzball had the most adorable, deep, raspy bark that I had ever heard! Not a woof, nor even an arf, but kind of a throaty warf. And I just beamed!

And I don't know why, but thinking about that moment made me want to ruin write a song about "firsts" with Jon Farleigh (but it could also apply to Dewi, or even your dog, if you wanted it to). Please, enjoy!

Actual photo in which I first saw Jon Farleigh's face (over email). ♥

The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face

♪♫♫ The first time ever I saw your face
I thought, OMG, he's piercing my soul with his eyes!
And if I can't get my hands on that baby dog
My whole life will go awry, dear Johnny**
My life will go awry.

And the first time ever I heard your bark
I felt the earth move under my heels
Thought, that's my big boy with his big boy bark!
Yes, I was an imbecile (for you), sweet Johnny
I was an imbecile. 

And the first time ever I watched you poop
Outside on the grass, not inside
I smiled and shouted, what a good boy you are!
And my heart swelled up with pride (over that turd)
Dear Johnny, my heart swelled up with pride.

The first time ever I saw your face...♫♪♫

(♥)

Can anyone relate?

* I got nothing against Roberta Flack. It's just that, her rendition is a bit slooooww. Plus, the words are all mushy and stuff.
** Jon Farleigh's kennel call name was Johnny (Hoppin' John).

Wait! Come to #CardiComedy on Sunday (4/6) and you could win a $25 Etsy.com gift card!