Tuesday, April 15, 2014

How to Teach My Dog to 'Give a Kiss'

That's right - MY dog. Because I have no idea how to teach your dog to "give a kiss." But, if you read how I taught MY dog (Jon Farleigh*, if you want specifics) how to do it, maybe you'll feel better equipped to try it at home.

Note: If you want to try it at home, you'll need a dog who likes to lick you on the face, specifically the mouth (as opposed to your eyelids or nostrils, for example, because redirecting the tongue is beyond the scope of this lesson). If you don't like being licked on the face by a dog, then, well, you've read two paragraphs too far.

Ready? OK.

Note: Incorrect form. Tip: DO NOT place peanut butter on nose,
unless you are a deranged dog blogger. 

First: Let my puppy/dog lick you on the face.

Second: Reward my dog for this action by either, 1) squealing like a piglet with joy, or 2) (in a high-pitched baby voice) praising him with all sorts of silly talk and/or lavishing large amounts of rubbing and scritching upon his furry self.
Caution: Squealing like a piglet might actually entice my dog to lick you even more, making it difficult to breathe without sucking his tongue into your airway.

Repeat second step liberally.

Now, to teach my dog how to "give a kiss" (as opposed to just randomly shoving his tongue into your face at all times).
  1. Wait for the opportunity when my dog is happy, but calm (maybe when he's tired).

    Note: Please try to ignore the fact that (in this photo series) Jon Farleigh is quoting Rhett Butler from Gone With the Wind.
  2. Get within tongue-shot of his face in a non-threatening way (i.e., NO STARING into his eyes or anything, that's threatening).
  3. Pucker up and nicely tell him to "give a kiss."
  4. Keep puckering and wait for him to take the hint.
    Note: If he doesn't, maybe lick your lips or gently blow a puff of air on his nose (trust me, it works).
  5. Immediately after my dog gives the kiss (only AFTER you asked him to), say "thank you." DO NOT skip this step!
  6. Then reward him using the PRAISE suggestions mentioned in the previous procedure.
    Note: I have never used a treat to reward Jon Farleigh for a kiss. Wouldn't want him to confuse my lips for a spot of beef liver or anything.
  7. Repeat this exercise several times, at different times throughout the day (or night).
Result: My dog (Jon Farleigh) can "give a kiss" when I (or you) tell him to. Truly, his licker does not discriminate against willing humans.

Important (personal) aside: He will also still give liberal kisses when not asked to, if I lie on the floor on my back, for example, or put my face next to his on the couch/bed. My husband, incidentally, does not care for facial dog smooches, but that does not stop Jon Farleigh from nonchalantly getting within distance and surprising him (husband) with a frog-like lash to the cheek.


And now, if you'll excuse me, I think Jon Farleigh might be due for some continuing education. ahem.

So, do you think you'll try this at home? Already have a dog who knows how to "give a kiss"? Wanna try it on Jon Farleigh yourself? Let me know (here or on Facebook)!

* Dewi is not a kisser (except for a few "fairy" kisses to the eyelids first thing in the a.m.) He is, however, an expert spooner. (He was born with it.)

10 comments:

  1. Uh oh. Now my computer screen has kissy prints all over it!
    ; )

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. EEEEPPPPPP! SQUEEEEEE! HOLY WHAAAA! IT'S DONE!! :-) I THINK I GOT SOME SPLAININ TO DO, GLOGIRLY!

      Delete
  2. LOL Cute! Cookie certainly has a busy tongue. Might be fun to turn it into a trick.

    ReplyDelete
  3. We are not really kissers here but occasionally which makes them all the more special. Have a wonderful Wednesday.
    Best wishes Molly

    ReplyDelete
  4. LOVE your blog redesign!


    Despite how much I adore my dogs, I do not enjoy being "kissed" by them. Yuck! So, no, no lessons for my guys ;-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Taryn. :) I've been thinking about it for a long time and finally just went for it. Debbie at Glogirlydesign.com is very good at what she does and updated the whole thing while I was writing this post. Talk about a surprise after I published and refreshed the screen!

      Don't know why the licking doesn't faze me. Maybe because my favorite childhood dog memory is of my grandmother's shepherd mix licking me all over my face.

      Delete
  5. I would let Jon Farleigh kiss me any day!

    ReplyDelete
  6. OMD.... Okay - first of all - LOVE the new retro look of the blog! Totally cute!! Secondly - dammit. Why didn't *I* think of putting Rhett kissing quotes with a dog picture?! I LOVE THOSE!!!

    Now, finally - as to the content... Geez Louise, we've been TRYING to teach Rita to kiss us. (Our past 2 angels were huge kissers, but Rita is super stingy.) You should hear how we squeal - even the hubs - when she gives us a measly kiss or two. (Most of the times, it's not even really a proper kiss - it's more like she fwaps her tongue in your general direction.)

    ReplyDelete
  7. My old dog had a big tongue and loved to kiss. He would slurp up our faces, and once in a while accidently get his tongue in our mouths. Yuck!

    ReplyDelete

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