Monday, October 2, 2017

How I Found the Hidden Good in My Dog's Ill-Timed Upset Stomach

  • This is the third time I've published this post since 2012. 
  • In 2012, I was five years younger, but no wiser.
  • When I published the post in 2015, I titled it, 
    "How to Make 'Lemons' When Your Dog's Poop Looks Like Lemonade."
  • I do not buy the whole "life gives you lemons" metaphor. I mean, who said lemons are bad? No one--the metaphor writer was wrong. Lemons are good. Lemonade, in contrast, is fattening and can make one's teeth rot (if not consumed in moderation).
  • My life has changed somewhat in five years; however, the "bad" things are still in plentiful supply. 
  • The corgi's lives have changed, too. They haven't been crated at night in years. They mostly sleep on me. 
  • I promise not to mention the word "lemonade," in the same sentence with the words "dog" or "poop," for the rest of this post.  

Title of original post from March 23, 2012...

Exploding Dog Butts and Ill-Fitting Clothes - An Experiment in Looking on the Bright Side

My day could conceivably have gone two ways today: crappy or awesome.

Crappy attitude?

Okay, well, if I'm speaking in literal terms, so far, there's been lots of crap. But I'm not speaking in literal terms...just yet.

So because it's Friday, and I LOVE Fridays, I thought it would be fun to list all the crappy things that have happened in my house so far today and then for each crappy thing, come up with a way for me to look on the bright side. 

So, for example, if my bedroom smoke detector had started chirping at 2 a.m., forcing a middle-of-the-night battery replacement and minor sleep disturbance, I would argue that on the bright side, my family would not have burned up in a potential 3 a.m. house fire. 

Pretty simple, yes?

OK, here we go...

Crappy Thing (CT): Jon Farleigh broke out of his crate at 2:50 a.m. because he had to go RIGHT THEN.
On the Bright Side (OtBS): He didn't go in his crate.

CT: I didn't get back to sleep until approx. 4:15 a.m.
OtBS: While I was up, I watched a graphic WWII documentary (on the Smithsonian Channel). In comparison to that, my problems seemed petty.

CT: JF's crate had a pile of poop in it when he came out of it this morning.
OtBS: It was still in one neat pile and only touching the hard plastic crate floor (easy clean-up!).

CT: After coming in from being walked (by Middle Child - who told me--inaccurately, it turns out--JF had NOT done #2 outside), I discovered JF's back end to be a giant mess, so (while 2 of my kids were trying not to miss the school bus) I had to give him a bath (with kiwi-scented shampoo).
OtBS: He didn't have a chance to put his poopy butt all over the carpet or upholstery. And, the kids still made their buses, proving I can do several things at one time, when pressed.

Positive outlook?
CT: About 15 minutes after his bath, JF (with a twinkle in his eye) sneaked out of the kitchen, pooped in the family room and tracked it back into the kitchen. And I had to give him a second bath.
OtBS: His butt hadn't been that clean and sweet-smelling since the day he was born and his mother licked him clean. Also, I got to do a load of towels.

(Note: JF is OK; he just ate something disagreeable, probably deer poop.) 

Look how curly his fur gets after a bath!

CT: JF didn't get his breakfast, except for a teaspoonful each of mashed pumpkin and plain Greek yogurt.
OtBS: BOTH dogs got to eat yummy pumpkin and yogurt. (Note: JF didn't poop again for 3 hours after eating, and did not require a third bath.)

CT: My summer wardrobe shrank a half-size over the winter.
OtBS: I get to go shopping? (OK, not.) Tight clothes make me not want to eat? (Not really--they make it harder to breathe.) I get to spend more time outside (and not sitting) with the dogs (and/or family)? Yes! 

In summary: My day was awesome because:
  • I'm not a statistic in a war documentary.
  • Jon Farleigh's crate and butt are squeaky clean.
  • My dogs got to eat something yummy and wholesome.
  • I can multitask.
  • I have clean towels.
  • I have an excuse to go outside and play. 
Hope you are having an awesome day, too! 😊

UPDATE 8:34 p.m.: Because I was scrambling to get this post finished and not paying enough attention to my family's dinner, sizzling on the outdoor grill, I have another CT to add to the list:

CT: My hamburgers got burned to briquettes in a grease fire. Oh yes, friends, they did.

No lighter fluid required.
OtBS: I saw a Bald Eagle while driving back from the grocery store (because I had to go out and buy more beef). I had time to prune some plants in the garden while I was outside (not writing this post) supervising the grill. And it turns out, there was enough good cooked meat inside those black rocks to scrape out and add to Jon Farleigh's bland dinner (and breakfast tomorrow). Furthermore, if he could talk (thank heaven he can't, but if he could) he'd probably tell me he wishes he had more upset stomachs, because the recovery menu tastes SO good! 

Suddenly, I really want chocolate ice cream...

How's your day going? 


  1. HAH! I love this post! You could have done what our neighbors in the next apartment did when they left the smoke detector chirp for 3 1/3 days until TW slid a note under their door, threatening them with death. On the bright side, TW got through the equivalent of Chinese Water Torture without providing the enemy with secrets. MOL! Hope JF is feeling better.

    1. Did he really threaten with death?! :D I might have gone postal on that myself! (JF is hunky dory, thanks!)

  2. What a fun post! That was quite the day. It's only fair that the bbq got burned to charcoal too. So much for multi-talking perfectly. I hope you had your chocolate ice cream? Seems like the best way to end a crazy day. Take care! Thanks for the chuckle.

    1. Yeah, I'm sure I self-soothed with ice cream (I do every day). :) Thanks for stopping by!

  3. How cute is this post! It kept me intrigued the entire time!
    Rolos says he would still eat those hamburgers...

    1. Compliment of all compliments to a blogger: this post "kept me intrigued the entire time!" Thank you for reading! Glad it gave you a chuckle, too. :)

  4. BOL no lighter fuel crack us up. What a day indeed. Have a wonderful Wednesday.
    Best wishes Molly

    1. Nope, those babies caught fire all on their own. :) Thanks, Molly!

  5. Hahaha! I think we all have those days when we just need a few more bright sides. Been there, done that. Thanks for the good chuckle!
    - Purrs from your friends at

    1. We aim to find ALL the bright sides.:) Thanks for reading, Robin!

  6. "My summer wardrobe shrank a half-size over the winter" Hey! This happened to me, too. It has inspired me to work out two days this week - going for a third tomorrow...

    1. I'm inspired to go to the gym; I just need to convince my legs to take me there. :) Good luck to you! Those darn summer clothes are mischievous little buggers.

  7. Those hamburgers look exactly like what my father-in-law likes to serve when we go to his house for cook-outs. Yikes! :)

    1. Is that an in-law requirement? Black grill meat? :) (Gotta love 'em, though. I hope!)

  8. Crappy thing: Blueberry's anal sacs expressed themselves in a slow leak on my bed.
    OtBS: At least I have a bed and it didn't leak through to the mattress!

    This is a fun game. I'm going to try and apply this to more CTs as they occur! Thanks for the laugh!

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  10. Too funny. Looks like you could use those burgers as charcoal for your next bbq! I think winter causes everyone's wardrobe to shrink,

  11. OtBS, (hopefully) JF didn't eat a briquet 'ball.' We tend to think every day is a good day, some of them are better than others. Keep up the good work on the multi-tasking and the keeping of butts clean before bus departures. 😇

    1. Every time the sun comes up IS a good thing. I hope I don't have to ever repeat the multi-tasks from this story ever again!

  12. Hysterical. (How did I miss this before??) Love that "in comparison to" the WWII documentary, your "problems seemed petty." I'm currently employing the same tactic - watching the Ken Burns Vietnam documentary pretty much for the sole purpose of making my own problems seem petty. :)

    1. Oh no, Jackie, a Vietnam documentary? That'll certainly put things in perspective! I hope you don't really NEED to make your problems seem petty, though!

  13. Apparently you are a very talented multi tasker, love it! I can relate to those burgers, been there done that, haha.

    Most importantly I'm glad Mr. J.F. is okay, please give him hugs and kisses ❤
    & Kiwi shampoo, I need some of that in my life!

    1. Thanks, Jane. I'm not sure what a kiwi actually smells like, so you could probably just use any fruity shampoo and call it kiwi. ;)

  14. This is too funny! You are far more optimistic than I, friend! I can't believe those are actually burnt burgers on that plate, I literally did think they were briquettes! Just how long were you away from the grill??? LOL!
    Love & Biscuits,
    Dogs Luv Us and We Luv Them


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