Friday, March 23, 2012

Exploding Dog Butts and Ill-Fitting Clothes - An Experiment in Looking on the Bright Side

My day could conceivably have gone two ways today: crappy or awesome.

Crappy attitude?

Okay, well, if I'm speaking in literal terms, so far, there's been lots of crap. But I'm not speaking in literal terms...just yet.

So because it's Friday, and I LOVE Fridays, I thought it would be fun to list all the crappy things that have happened in my house so far today and then for each crappy thing, come up with a way for me to look on the bright side. 

So, for example, if my bedroom smoke detector had started chirping at 2 a.m., forcing a middle-of-the-night battery replacement and minor sleep disturbance, I would argue that on the bright side, my family would not have burned up in a potential 3 a.m. house fire. 

Pretty simple, yes?

Okay, here we go...

Crappy Thing (CT): Jon Farleigh broke out of his crate at 2:50 a.m. because he had to go RIGHT THEN.
On the Bright Side (OtBS): He didn't go in his crate.


CT: I didn't get back to sleep until approx. 4:15 a.m.
OtBS: I watched a TV war documentary (on the Smithsonian Channel) and in comparison, my problems seemed petty.

CT: JF's crate had a pile of poop in it when he came out of it this morning.
OtBS: It was still in one neat pile and only touching the hard crate floor (making clean-up easy).

CT: After coming in from being walked (by Middle Child - who told me JF had NOT done #2 outside), I discovered JF's back end was a big nasty mess, so (while 2 of my kids were trying not to miss the school bus) I had to give him a bath (with kiwi-scented shampoo).
OtBS: He didn't have a chance to smear his poopy butt all over the carpet or upholstery. The kids still made their buses, proving I can do several things at one time when pressed.


Positive outlook?


CT: About 15 minutes after his bath, JF (smiling and with a spring in his step) sneaked out of the kitchen, pooped in the family room and tracked it back into the kitchen. And I had to give him a second (butt- and foot-only) bath.
OtBS: His butt hadn't been that clean and sweet-smelling since infancy. Also, I got to do a load of towels.

(Note: JF is okay; he just ate something disagreeable.) 

Look how curly his fur gets after a bath!

CT: JF didn't get his breakfast, except for a teaspoonful each of mashed pumpkin and plain Greek yogurt.
OtBS: BOTH dogs got to eat yummy pumpkin and yogurt. (Note: JF didn't poop again for 3 hours after eating, and did not require a third bath.)

CT: My summer wardrobe shrank a half-size over the winter (despite me begging my shorts to "please still fit" when I pulled them on this morning).
OtBS: I get to go shopping?? (Okay, not.) My tight waistband is making me not want to eat?? (Not really, it just hurts.) I get to spend more time outside (not sitting) with the dogs (and/or family)??  Yep! (But would someone please hide the grill...)

In summary: My day was awesome because:


  • I'm not a statistic in a war documentary.
  • Jon Farleigh's crate and butt are squeaky clean.
  • My dogs got to eat something yummy and wholesome.
  • I can multitask.
  • I have clean towels.
  • I have an excuse to go outside and play. 



Hope you all are having awesome days, too! :)


See you Monday!

UPDATE 8:34 p.m.: Because I was scrambling to get this post finished and not paying enough attention to my family's dinner sizzling on the outdoor grill, I have another CT to add to the list:

CT: My hamburgers got burned to briquettes in a grease fire. hee hee Oh yes, they did.

No lighter fluid required.
OtBS: I saw a Bald Eagle while driving back from the grocery store (because I had to go out and buy more beef). I had time to prune some plants in the garden while I was outside (not writing this post) supervising the grill. And it turns out, there was enough good cooked meat inside those black rocks to scrape out and add to Jon Farleigh's bland dinner (and breakfast tomorrow). Furthermore, if he could talk (thank heaven he can't, but if he could) he'd probably tell me he likes his meals better after a butt explosion than when he's regular. 
(Shhhhh. He's been explosion-free since early afternoon.) ☺

I think I need some chocolate ice cream...

25 comments:

  1. That was quite a day! Makes ours seem down right boring..Ha-ha, the only thing that exploded was the poached egg that mom put in the microwave!!

    Wyatt

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    Replies
    1. Wyatt - I put a whole, raw egg in the microwave, circa 1984-ish. It (the microwave) had to go to the shop for a new interior. (The only bright side to that was the bright yellow yolk dripping everywhere.) :/ I hope your microwave survived the poached egg!

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  2. Oh my goodness what a day and I have to say it...this was funny! Okay so I didn't have to do all the poop pick-up or butt washing though a Kiwi scented shampoo does sound so fresh and pleasant. I really, really dislike poop and pee in the house. Both Stewie and Tucker left piles inside this morning....I don't understand why as they were out though I did't observe the action. Poor son on the way to the loo stepped in one pile...nicely cleaned it up...thank you...and got into the shower. Why in the hall on the persian carpet at the farthest end of the house where he never goes? HHHHMMMMM?

    Okay well lets hope for no burned burgers and a better tomorrow!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ellen - The only thing worse than having to clean poo off the floor is having to clean it off your foot first. EW! Poor son!

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  3. LOL, oh my...what a day. I love your OtBS though...What a great attitude. My day was pretty crappy, but OtBS, it wasn't YOUR day and for that, I am grateful. You deserve ice cream, a stiff drink and possibly a medal of honour.

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    Replies
    1. Kolchak - Sorry your Friday was crappy. :/ Hope it went uphill over the weekend! We watched a lot of pouring rain out the windows. But nothing exploded. :)

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  4. It's always good to look on the bright side. I forget to do that a lot of the time. Good for you for doing it! You kind of have to at least try to do that, especially when that much poop is involved!

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    Replies
    1. Hi, Gleeful, fka Oscarblogger! Thank you for popping in! I'm looking forward to following along with your new blog...and so glad to know that all is well!

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  5. You are a scream!! Maybe you shoulda called in the Crime Scene Unit to do a poopanalysis. My money's on deer DNA evidence in the suspicious droppings. Didn't you say your boys like to eat deer doodoo?

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  6. P.S. This morning Mr. Spock (The Corgi) gnawed into T'Chat's (The Wee Kitty's) hairball medicine (LAXATIVE) and snarfed down as much as he could get (A LOT) before I caught him red-pawed. So I anticipate having an exploding dog-butt experience of my own tomorrow. I hope I can be as cheerful about it as you!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Robin - I didn't know hairball meds contained a laxative. :D I sure hope Mr. Spock didn't have any explosions!

      And as far as the DNA test, it was definitely something "organic." Ugh. :-/

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  7. LOL! Best title and blog post ever! Thanks for the laugh. Sorry you had a crappy day, but the kiwi butt thing had me in stitches.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks, Mel. I even forgive you for laughing. hehe ;)

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  8. I hope you had a delicious beverage to top off your amazing day. . I can't figure out why my summer clothes always shrink over the winter!

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  9. Your crappy things are hysterical and it so nice that you have a bright side! BOL!!

    Your newest followers,
    Miley and Maggie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Miley and Maggie - Thanks for stopping by and for the follow! I recognize you from twitter! :)

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  10. You are so good at finding the bright side. Would you be willing to become a political advisor to any of the Republican candidates? I'm getting tired of all the debates trying to tell me how scared and panicked I should feel living in the richest, free-est, country on earth. :)

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    Replies
    1. Pamela - I'm not sure they'd like my salary requirement. In other words, I'm not sure there's enough money in the world. ;-)

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  11. I'm checking in late as I've been away from my PC most of the weekend. As I was reading through the post, I was feeling mainly sympathy for JF's butt debacle, but when I got to the photo of the charred burgers I nearly sprayed my coffee over the keyboard! That was a laugh out loud moment for sure!

    Love your positive attitude, too!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Taryn - How sweet of you to feel pity on JF (ahem). :) You should've seen me cackling at those charred burgers once I got the flames (that melted my mascara) put out! I didn't know it was possible to burn burgers that badly.

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  12. Geesh! I hope your having all the toppings with that ice cream. You deserve it for having such a positive attitude! LOL! I had to laugh when I got to the burger picture, at first i thought it was Jon Farleigh's firmed up poo! BOL!

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  13. I love that you look on the bright side... I'm a bright sider too, and sometimes it does drive my husband a tad crazy. ("Oh, well we may have sat in 2 hours of stopped traffic after work, but on the bright side, it wasn't 3!" "Oh, well Bella just rolled in something and needs a bath... but at least she's enjoying the nice weather!")

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  14. That was so funny! Gross, but funny. And I can't get over the curly hair--wow!! I wanna see a pic like that but from the front or side with his face in it. I can't mesh his face and that fur in my head.

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  15. Well, looking on the brighter side helps! :) I do this sometimes too. For instance, I am running late for work, and on the highway I see accident. I tell myself that if I had been on time, I might have been the one that car hit!

    Anyway, I just found your blog, and I have enjoyed what I have read so far! Nice to meet you!

    ReplyDelete

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