Tuesday, April 15, 2014

How to Teach My Dog to 'Give a Kiss'

That's right - MY dog. Because I have no idea how to teach your dog to "give a kiss." But, if you read how I taught MY dog (Jon Farleigh*, if you want specifics) how to do it, maybe you'll feel better equipped to try it at home.

Note: If you want to try it at home, you'll need a dog who likes to lick you on the face, specifically the mouth (as opposed to your eyelids or nostrils, for example, because redirecting the tongue is beyond the scope of this lesson). If you don't like being licked on the face by a dog, then, well, you've read two paragraphs too far.

Ready? OK.

Note: Incorrect form. Tip: DO NOT place peanut butter on nose,
unless you are a deranged dog blogger. 

First: Let my puppy/dog lick you on the face.

Second: Reward my dog for this action by either, 1) squealing like a piglet with joy, or 2) (in a high-pitched baby voice) praising him with all sorts of silly talk and/or lavishing large amounts of rubbing and scritching upon his furry self.
Caution: Squealing like a piglet might actually entice my dog to lick you even more, making it difficult to breathe without sucking his tongue into your airway.

Repeat second step liberally.

Now, to teach my dog how to "give a kiss" (as opposed to just randomly shoving his tongue into your face at all times).
  1. Wait for the opportunity when my dog is happy, but calm (maybe when he's tired).

    Note: Please try to ignore the fact that (in this photo series) Jon Farleigh is quoting Rhett Butler from Gone With the Wind.
  2. Get within tongue-shot of his face in a non-threatening way (i.e., NO STARING into his eyes or anything, that's threatening).
  3. Pucker up and nicely tell him to "give a kiss."
  4. Keep puckering and wait for him to take the hint.
    Note: If he doesn't, maybe lick your lips or gently blow a puff of air on his nose (trust me, it works).
  5. Immediately after my dog gives the kiss (only AFTER you asked him to), say "thank you." DO NOT skip this step!
  6. Then reward him using the PRAISE suggestions mentioned in the previous procedure.
    Note: I have never used a treat to reward Jon Farleigh for a kiss. Wouldn't want him to confuse my lips for a spot of beef liver or anything.
  7. Repeat this exercise several times, at different times throughout the day (or night).
Result: My dog (Jon Farleigh) can "give a kiss" when I (or you) tell him to. Truly, his licker does not discriminate against willing humans.

Important (personal) aside: He will also still give liberal kisses when not asked to, if I lie on the floor on my back, for example, or put my face next to his on the couch/bed. My husband, incidentally, does not care for facial dog smooches, but that does not stop Jon Farleigh from nonchalantly getting within distance and surprising him (husband) with a frog-like lash to the cheek.

And now, if you'll excuse me, I think Jon Farleigh might be due for some continuing education. ahem.

So, do you think you'll try this at home? Already have a dog who knows how to "give a kiss"? Wanna try it on Jon Farleigh yourself? Let me know (here or on Facebook)!

* Dewi is not a kisser (except for a few "fairy" kisses to the eyelids first thing in the a.m.) He is, however, an expert spooner. (He was born with it.)

Sunday, April 13, 2014

That Picture Don't Make a Lick of Sense: Creature in the Car Window

It's time for another episode of...


A. "Step on it, Bucky, it's a starving CORGILOPE!"
B.  Jon Farleigh is in the truck bed wearing camo antlers for a Christmas card photo shoot. 
C. Somebody stole my dog, made him do humiliating things and posted it on the internet. (Do you think I should press charges?)
D. It's Jon Deer. Duh.

Leave you best guess in comments or on the Facebook page!

And, as for last week's photo...

(Nice guesses, by the way.)

C. He was stranded there on the 2nd step, afraid of slipping off in either direction, and was resting.

Important note: This was the first time Dewi ever attempted to go up those steps (years ago). He made it up ONE step before he quit and then just parked there for 10 min, until I realized he wasn't underfoot and found him there. He and Jon Farleigh can climb stairs now (can't get back down them, but that's another blog post); however, they are NOT allowed to go upstairs in our house, and therefore, do not use these stairs. Not ever. So, NO fretting.

This was pretty doggone funny, though. Stuck on the bottom step. :)

Friday, April 11, 2014

Tacky Cardigan With Words on It: R-Rated Doggy Talent Show

Alternate title: Little Miss Sunshine Moment During the Talent Show Portion of the Community Fall Festival

It was a day for the village history books, y'all. Really, it was. ;)

If you'd like me to consider a photo of your pet(s) for a tacky cardigan, just post it to the Facebook page!

BONUS (for being such tolerant readers)!


Holy marshmallows, do I love the movie, The Full Monty!


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