Thursday, February 26, 2015

Classic Cardigan Twofer: The Stupid, Rotten, Very Bad, Humiliating Life Lessons My Dogs Once Learned

Some things a dog only needs to experience once. Here are two separate accounts of such things - one each for Jon Farleigh and Dewi.
(Note: The number of lessons that preceded and followed these particular examples is greater than my patience for writing them down. Let's just say, they're well-educated.)

Originally published on 7/5/11 and 10/4/11, respectively (gasp, they were just babies then!)...

Life Lessons Learned the Hard Way by Dewi - Fruity Soap


The night before last, while I was milling around in the master bathroom, I heard The Hubby exclaim (in the dog version of his "what have you gotten into now" voice)...

The Hubby"Boys, what have you gotten into now!?"

[cue slight groan as human lowers himself to carpet and slithers halfway under king size bed]

"Uh, ELIZABETH!?"

 Me [with dread]: "Yeah?"

[cue slight groan as human slithers out from under bed and stands up using only three limbs]

The Hubby (now standing in bathroom with outstretched arm and "how the heck did they get this?" look on his face): 
"How the heck did they get this?!

(Meanwhile, Dewi is smacking his lips - as if he has peanut butter smeared on the roof of his mouth - with an ever-so-slight dollop of suds trailing down his left jowl.)

This is the part where I turn the blog over to Dewi and let him tell his story - in pictures.

I am not laughing, but my people seem to think this is funny. P'shah.

You dogs, pay close attention!


Any questions?

No dogs were physically harmed during the original incident nor during the making of this blog post. The soap, however, needed a thorough rinsing due to dog slobber contamination. Oh yeah, and Dewi swiped the soap out of the walk-in shower when I had my back turned.
~~~~~


Life Lessons Learned the Hard Way by Jon Farleigh - Ingesting Hair


Jon Farleigh swallowed some of his own hair (never mind how I know this), which, this afternoon, led to a series of unfortunate events. 

At this time, Jon Farleigh will take over the blog and tell the story in his own words (okay, mostly pictures).

Hairy dogs, pay attention!

If you eat some hair and get that "not-so-fresh" feeling, DO NOT use this...

carpet

...when you should be using this...
...or else the Mom person will use these...


Any questions?

Please leave me now.

~~~~~

Well? What sorts of life lessons have your pets learned?

11 comments:

  1. OMD LOL and that is a guilty look. Have a fabulous Friday.
    Best wishes Molly

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  2. when ever I need to smile, I just come over here and the boys are always good for a laught. thanks Elizabeth, Dewi and Jon Farleigh

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank YOU for coming over, as always! :))

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  3. BOL!!!! Thanks for the laughs!!!! BOL!!!

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  4. Too funny. Luckily Rita will barely eat real fruit, so eating fruity soap is not a concern around here! Now... if they start making bacon-scented soap I might need to worry! :)

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    Replies
    1. I think they do make bacon-scented soap, Jackie! I found it looking on Amazon for something stupid once (I look for stupid stuff a lot actually). So gross!

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  5. Thankfully, Blueberry is not a soap eater. Soap is not food, no matter how good it may smell. Hehehehe.

    As for the carpet looking like an enormous, yet sturdy sheet of toilet paper, it is poor form to rub your bottom on it. I am so so so so so so so so (etc) glad Blueberry does not do this. One time she started to and I gasped so loudly it startled her so now she no longer does this. She will let me know, in her own special way, that she needs assistance with her rear area. I am glad she is not that furry, so I don't have to trim any cling-ons.

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    Replies
    1. Blueberry's human, you are killing me! Jon Farleigh never lets on that he has a cling-on, unless I see it first (or him using the berber TP on the floor). You are lucky on that count and that she's not furry! Dewi won't even come inside if he gets a cling-on, though. He, in fact, won't even get up off the grass to walk at all. He just drops his butt and freezes, requiring someone to pry him off the grass and take care of it in the yard. :/

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  6. Pretty much a daily occurrence here! Scissors are a must! And Dawn Dishwashing Liquid...I purchase it by the case!

    ReplyDelete

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