Friday, May 23, 2014

Outtakes from the Merrick Post, with Crazy Voiceovers (Captions) Like in Old Godzilla Movies

Note: If you didn't see the Merrick post, go here. There's a giveaway.

Also, if you're too young to have ever watched an old Godzilla movie on cable TV, where the actors are clearly not speaking English in real life, however, very American English conversations are coming through the TV speakers, then try googling "old Godzilla movies."

Anyway, the point is, as a creative experiment*, I've decided to post a few outtakes today, and for added interest, I'll be captioning them with quotes from a random stack of books that I compiled from around my house. In other words, the captions will have nothing to do with what is actually happening in the photos**. BUT, just like the old Godzilla movies, in which the actors' mouths don't match the audio feed, it might actually be entertaining to watch (in an absurdly campy sort of way). Also, I will list the books I quoted at the very bottom of this post, in case you forget that I am not the one who published and got paid for the original content***.

Note: Actual stack of books (still sitting on my desk, because I can't remember where I found several of them).

I hope this turns out OK. (But if it doesn't, at least I tried.)

"Hark, how hard he fetches breath."¹

"Are you my mother?" he said to the cow. "How could I be your mother," said the cow. "I am a cow."²

"So Horton stopped splashing. He looked toward the sound. 'That’s funny,' thought Horton. 'There’s no one around.' Then he heard it again! Just a very faint yelp as if some tiny person were calling for help. 'I’ll help you,' said Horton. 'But who are you? Where?'”³

" know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circumstances have not changed one bit."4 

(End of weird, literary captioning experiment. It might have worked; I'm not sure.☺)

* I just finished reading Bossypants, Tina Fey's memoir, and she is the reason for this experiment. And by "reason," I mean she is crazier than I could ever hope to be, and I wish that I was her good friend Amy Poehler, or the person who scrubs her apartment's toilets, because she is THAT inspiring. Also, her memoir wasn't nearly long enough.
** Please note that my captions never have anything to do with what my pets are doing in the photos. Pets cannot talk. Refer here for my (more in depth) explanation of that.
*** Also, none of the dead authors I have quoted in this post have compensated me for my trouble.

¹King Henry IV, Part 1 by William Shakespeare
(Note: a comedic line referring to snoring; also, henceforth, I think I shall always use this quote when referring to my pets' snoring.)
²Are You My Mother? by P.D. Eastman
³Horton Hears a Who! by Dr. Seuss
4The Bad Beginning by Lemony Snicket

I'm curious: did you guess any of the books before I gave you their titles? ☺


  1. Yikes we are such an ignoramus as we did not get one of those. Oh the shame of it. Anyway despite that we actually enjoyed it. Great idea. Can we have some more? Have a super Saturday.
    Best wishes Molly

    1. You are certainly NOT an ignoramus! (But, oh how I love that word. :)

      Maybe I'll do another! I REALLY REALLY wanted to get a Vonnegut quote in there.... (really)

  2. MOL! We guessed the Dr. Seuss one.

  3. I didn't recognize any of the books. Please excuse me - I was laughing much too hard to even think about it.

    1. There's no excuse for....Sorry! I almost repeated what my husband always says when I say "excuse me." He's not funny. :)

  4. I see Dr Seuss books! Goes well with Turducken!

  5. I guessed Horton, of course :D And maybe I had some kind of thought about the Shakespeare but I'm not sure :D I haven't read Snicket yet but it's in my list ;) And I've never heard about Eastman, although that kind of story is very familiar...


    1. Eastman is a children's book author and a contemporary of Dr. Seuss. The book "Are You My Mother?" is hugely popular for reading to little kids in the US. :)


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