These Adorable Pics Will Make You Howl. So Will Winning the #DecktheHowls Holiday Giveaway!

Check it out!

Hi, y'all! If you're here, that means you got through Thanksgiving dinner without exploding! Yay! It also means you want to...

1. Look at my adorable pictures (goofy corgis and cats - how could it get any better?) and/or
2. Get your bum entered in the Deck the Howls Holiday Giveaway...because (as you can see in the image) there are over $300 in prizes to be won!

Note: Although #2 is not contingent upon #1, we strongly hope that you won't close your eyes and scroll past the pictures to get to the entry form way at the bottom. Also, your bum/butt/bottom really isn't entering the giveaway. Your whole person is. 

OK, ready to look at the pictures? Yay! Oh, but you might want to rub some cocoa butter or anti-aging cream on your cheeks first, so your smile doesn't engrave a permanent crease in them. ☺ 

But not yet! I need to tell you more about the giveaway!

First, I'm not in this alone!

I've collaborated with these nine other rockstar pet bloggers so that we could make the prizes HUGE!

• Jessica at You Did What With Your Wiener?
• Ann at Pawsitively Pets
• Jen at My Brown Newfies and Me
• Christina at The Lazy Pit Bull
• Kimberly at Keep The Tail Wagging
• Carol at Fidose of Reality
• Amanda at Dog Mom Days
• Jodi at Kol's Notes
• Jessica at Beagles and Bargains

And, to recap, here are the prizes!

• Grand Prize: $200 Amazon Gift Card
• 2nd Prize: $100 Amazon Gift Card
• 3rd Prize: Gift Basket of Stella & Chewy's, fish oil by Bonnie & Clyde, and a bottle of Full Bucket daily canine powder.

Y'all, I'd LOVE someone to give me an Amazon shopping spree and I know you would too! And I know your PET(s) would LOVE for you to hook them up with that Bonnie & Clyde gift basket! (Yes, as a matter of fact, they did all call me and tell me so. #notreally #stilltrue)

YOU CAN ENTER TO WIN ON ALL 10 PARTICIPATING BLOGS!

Yep! To increase your odds, simply visit all the blogs (linked above) and enter (but hurry, the entry forms will all close at 11:59 p.m. Eastern on Thursday, December 3)!

One "finalist" will be selected from each blog!

All of the finalists' names will go into a drawing, and three winners will be randomly selected to receive the prizes listed above.

This is great news! That's because even if one of the 10 blogs has 578 x more entries than another, EACH BLOG will still get one finalist in the drawing!

So, tell me, if you won the $200-Amazon card GRAND prize, what one PET-RELATED item would you want the most? (I'd put it toward a new vacuum, I think.) 

Hold that thought! You'll get to write it in comments (for your one mandatory giveaway entry, using the widget at the bottom of the post), but first...

PICTURES! ☺

Would you tell me if I had a piece of mulch stuck to my nose?

When you said kiss, did you mean like this?

What cat?

Will you be taking lots of pictures?

Not on Dewi's bucket list.

Somewhere over the rainbow...blue merles cry. And cats photobomb.

To the door that hides the treat stash: I've got a blank space, baby, and I'll chew you up and spit you in it. 

How Jon Farleigh gets things accomplished. #thatFace

No caption kneaded needed.

Not an actual chef. 

You know, that giveaway entry form is getting cold. 

What??
Oh hey, whatever, boys!

TIME TO ENTER THE GIVEAWAY!


Remember, once you get into the Gleam widget, there will be several ways to get an entry. THE BLOG COMMENT ENTRY IS MANDATORY! Don't forget to leave one! I check!

Deck the Howls Holiday Giveaway
Did you enter? Yay! I hope you win! Don't forget you can enter at the other nine blogs (linked at the top of the post) to increase your chances! 

I'll post all three winners' names on the Facebook page and Twitter on December 4!

Good luck!

No purchase necessary. Giveaway is open to US and Canadian residents age 18 and older, except where prohibited by law. Giveaway will run from November 27 through December 3, 2015 at 11:59pm EST. Three (3) winners will be randomly selected and notified via email. Winners will have 48 hours to claim their prizes; failure to do so will result in forfeiture of the prize. Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest do not sponsor, administer, or endorse this promotion. Participants must read and agree to Gleam's Privacy Policy before entering and participating in this promotion. 

Each participating blogger paid an entry fee which will be used to fund the gift card prizes. The items in the third place prize package were donated by the participating brands.

Well-Loved Tacky Thanksgiving Cardigan: Jon Farleigh the Turkey

And by well-loved, I mean, I've proudly published it once already. ☺

But first, have one last look at Dug. I have to send him back home after this post. (Not really, I've just run out of GIFs.)

OK, are you ready to see the tacky cardigan? It might even give Dug, there, are run for his money!

Originally published on November 28, 2013...

Tacky Cardigan With Words on It: Stupid Turkey Day Homonyms

Feel free to take a moment or two to let this sink in all the way. 

Tune in next time when I invite Dewi to a weenie roast and reward him with weenies for pretending to be one. ☺

Speaking of Dewi, this...

He's thankful for the same thing as Jon Farleigh. 

I'm thankful for readers who, in spite of knowing who the real buffoon of this blog is, still keep coming back for more! 

Happy (day after) Thanksgiving, y'all!

'Til next time!

Tacky Cardigan: What the Ground Might Say to a Dog - Baseball Edition

Have you ever thought about how much abuse the ground takes? Especially from dogs? Wonder what it might say, if it could talk? What's that? Only whack-o's wonder about such things? OK, I'll give you that.

Also, I'm really sorry. You'll know why momentarily.

Anyone going to see a baseball game this weekend? ☺

Note: I know full well that no baseball diamond ever entertained a game in the snow. It was the only picture I had, OK? And I took it by accident last winter. Whack-o and sick-o are not synonymous!  

Want me to consider a photo of your pet(s) for a tacky cardigan? (hehe, I bet you do! not!) Just post it to the Facebook or Tumblr page!

Tacky Cardigan: Wherein I Turn Corgi Anatomy Into a Workweek Metaphor

Yes, that's right. In honor of hump day (which is today, at least where I'm sitting), I have created an infographic of the workweek, except it's really a corgi.
Note: Corgi is NOT to scale. Just pretend you're mini Mike Teavee from Willy Wonka.

According to my calculations, I'll be positioning my butt on the fur slide in less than three hours. I hope it's a smooth ride!

So, tell me: What, if anything, will you do differently on Monday, knowing that you're about to enter the Cheeky Forest? Will your outlook for the week change at all? ☺

If you'd like me to consider a photo of your pet(s) for a tacky cardigan, just post it to the Facebook or Tumblr page!

Tacky Cardigan: How Dogs Land Jobs - Genetics, Environment, or Something Else Entirely?

So, answer this question: Which came first, the dog or the dog's job? 

I'll go out on a limb and say the dog. Maybe not the ideal dog, but unlike the unsolvable chicken and egg dilemma, if you're gonna give a dog a job, there has to be a dog sitting there ready to take it, right? But then, how did the humans decide which dogs were best for which jobs? So they could work toward their "breed ideal"? Take cattle driving, for example. Of all the available dogs, WAY back when dogs were first assigned as drovers, how did the farmer decide among all the dogs? I don't know. But I'm beginning to wonder whether the cows had something to do with it...

Disclaimer: The cows made up those jokes, not me.*

Things that make you go hmm. ☺

A huge THANK YOU to my muse, the devastatingly handsome Cocker Spaniel, Dexter, and his mama Carol Bryant (yes, that Dexter, and that Carol Bryant) of the acclaimed pet lifestyle blog Fidose of Reality, for allowing me to use their photo! (I saw it on their Instagram. This was SO MUCH FUN to make!)

UPDATE! I've been feeling remiss about not crediting the cows who have appeared with speaking parts; therefore, here are their names (L to R): Lenny, Mortimer (Mort for short) and Ice-Chest.

* I totally made those dumb jokes up, but I'm allowed. I'm owned by two drovers who are shaped like step stools.

Tacky Cardigan With Words on It: If Looks Could Kill

Next time you refuse to indulge your dog in a bite of your BLT? An extra 5-47 ball tosses? A romp through a tall, grassy meadow full of goose poo? See if you don't feel a cosmic hole being bored through your back. Just saying.

Hehe. Bogey (Jon Farleigh's half-brother) didn't want me to take his picture in the tunnel at the Cardi party. ☺

He was totally fine with me taking it outside the tunnel, though.

Now, there's a handsome smile!

If you'd like me to consider a photo of your pet(s) for a tacky cardigan, just post it to the Facebook page*.

* Full disclosure: I asked Bogey's mama if I could use his picture, not the other way around. ;)

Outtakes from the Merrick Post, with Crazy Voiceovers (Captions) Like in Old Godzilla Movies

Note: If you didn't see the Merrick post, go here. There's a giveaway.

Also, if you're too young to have ever watched an old Godzilla movie on cable TV, where the actors are clearly not speaking English in real life, however, very American English conversations are coming through the TV speakers, then try googling "old Godzilla movies."

Anyway, the point is, as a creative experiment*, I've decided to post a few outtakes today, and for added interest, I'll be captioning them with quotes from a random stack of books that I compiled from around my house. In other words, the captions will have nothing to do with what is actually happening in the photos**. BUT, just like the old Godzilla movies, in which the actors' mouths don't match the audio feed, it might actually be entertaining to watch (in an absurdly campy sort of way). Also, I will list the books I quoted at the very bottom of this post, in case you forget that I am not the one who published and got paid for the original content***.

Note: Actual stack of books (still sitting on my desk, because I can't remember where I found several of them).

I hope this turns out OK. (But if it doesn't, at least I tried.)

"Hark, how hard he fetches breath."¹

"Are you my mother?" he said to the cow. "How could I be your mother," said the cow. "I am a cow."²

"So Horton stopped splashing. He looked toward the sound. 'That’s funny,' thought Horton. 'There’s no one around.' Then he heard it again! Just a very faint yelp as if some tiny person were calling for help. 'I’ll help you,' said Horton. 'But who are you? Where?'”³

"...you know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circumstances have not changed one bit."⁴ 

(End of weird, literary captioning experiment. It might have worked; I'm not sure.☺)

* I just finished reading Bossypants, Tina Fey's memoir, and she is the reason for this experiment. And by "reason," I mean she is crazier than I could ever hope to be, and I wish that I was her good friend Amy Poehler, or the person who scrubs her apartment's toilets, because she is THAT inspiring. Also, her memoir wasn't nearly long enough.
** Please note that my captions never have anything to do with what my pets are doing in the photos. Pets cannot talk. Refer here for my (more in depth) explanation of that.
*** Also, none of the dead authors I have quoted in this post have compensated me for my trouble.


¹King Henry IV, Part 1 by William Shakespeare
(Note: a comedic line referring to snoring; also, henceforth, I think I shall always use this quote when referring to my pets' snoring.)
²Are You My Mother? by P.D. Eastman
³Horton Hears a Who! by Dr. Seuss
⁴The Bad Beginning by Lemony Snicket

I'm curious: did you guess any of the books before I gave you their titles? ☺

Repurposed Tacky Cardigan With Words on It: There's No Shame in Butt Sniffing

Hi, y'all! I'm not on vacation, or sick, or stuck in a well or anything like that...but, my PC did crash a few days ago (Windows malfunction) and I'm currently running around (figuratively) like a deranged chicken. Hence the repurposing of the tacky cardigan. Although, this one is actually a pile of cardigans that (when held up end to end) tell one big ole tacky story. Perhaps you'll remember it. ;)

Originally published on October 10, 2012...

The Subjectivity of Shame: Butt-Sniffing

So what is it: shame or proper handshake etiquette?

 

P.S. Maddox is full of all kinds of wisdom, isn't he?

 

 

If you'd like me to consider a photo of your pet(s) for a tacky cardigan, just post it to the Facebook page!

Coming this Monday: A fun new post and GIVEAWAY! Stay tuned!

Tacky Cardigan With Words on It: Why Reality TV Sucks for My Cats

Not my reality TV, either. THEIRS!

I don't know how long they sat there and watched that stupid (ugly, nasty...) stink bug the other night, but I KNOW they didn't kill it. Stupid things are too gross even for cats! Corgis, too! ICK!

Do your pets watch "reality" TV? And by that, I mean do they watch creepy bugs in your house, or eat them? Do you hate stink bugs, too? (Fun topic, huh?) ☺

If you'd like me to consider a photo of you pet(s) for a tacky cardigan, just post it to the Facebook page!

Tacky Cardigan With Words on It: Bart Simpson's Ultimate Demise (Spoiler Alert!)

(Yes, I've done two tacky cardis in a row. Perhaps tomorrow, I'll make it three. Or not. ☺)

I'm telling you, this is it (how The Simpsons is gonna end)...

For reference purposes - in case you've never heard of Bart Simpson.
(Do those people exist?)

I'll be sure to let you all know as soon as Matt Groening returns my emails that I sent in my imagination. 

P.S. He'll eat your shorts (underwear), too, so for the love of Lisa, don't tell him to.

If you'd like me to consider a photo of your pet(s) for a tacky cardigan, just post it to the Facebook page!

Tacky Cardigan With Words on It: R-Rated Doggy Talent Show

Alternate title: Little Miss Sunshine Moment During the Talent Show Portion of the Community Fall Festival

It was a day for the village history books, y'all. Really, it was. ;)

If you'd like me to consider a photo of your pet(s) for a tacky cardigan, just post it to the Facebook page!

BONUS (for being such tolerant readers)!

Have some HOT CHOCOLATE!


Holy marshmallows, do I love the movie, The Full Monty!

Repurposed Tacky Cardigan With Words on It: The Most Dangerous Bug Known to Man

No, y'all, not a scorpion, centipede, fire ant, yellow jacket, black widow nor even a brown recluse. THIS!

Note: Although you might be tempted to provide a handout to the clever mantis (who is fully capable of catching his own food, by the way), you would be better off locking yourself (and all other members of your household) in a metal room (indefinitely). ☺

(The above photo -- that I took in my kitchen with my own camera, and later, "memed" -- originally appeared in a blog post published on August 21, 2012. It was just as tacky then as it is now.)

If you'd like me to consider a photo of your pet(s)/bug for a tacky cardigan, just post it to the Facebook page!

Tacky Cardigan With Words on It: False Advertising on St. Patrick's Day

Don't you find it a wee bit perplexing (the false St. Patrick's Day advertising people put on their bodies, of all places)? 

For instance:

All I'm saying is, if you're in America, think twice before you kiss an Irish dog who's had a beer on St. Patrick's Day. They're really only after one thing. 

If you'd like me to consider your pet(s) photo for a tacky cardigan. just post it on the Facebook page!

BONUS! More photos!

Note: Be especially leery of redheaded dogs with hungry eyes.

They tend not to take no for an answer. 

Liquid liver*.

A Guinness.

Mo' liver?

Ginger cats named Bobby Flay O'Fish (in contrast to American dogs) are decidedly kissable on St. Patrick's Day.

Especially when sporting bow ties.

And cheap (unintelligible) holiday-themed accessories from Target. Or not. 

(Am I missing something with the socks, y'all? What is the point of socks that say "Irish {insert shamrock eyes and a red mustache} I Had A Beer" on them? And inside one's shoes, no less. I mean, that's just dumb, don't you think?)

On second thought, I think I might kiss him. ☺

* Liquid liver (or chicken, beef...)

Happy St. Patrick's Day!