Thursday, October 30, 2014

Kitty Shita (an Unoriginal Ditty So Bad, You'll Want to Hide It From Small Children)

Because it's my blog, and I can.

Note: "Shita" is pronounced she-tah, like cheetah, or pita. In a sentence (using a bad Italian accent): I wonder whether the cheetah, who ate the pita, covers up her shita. 

By Patrick Bolduan from Tokyo, Japan (Outhouse) [CC-BY-SA-2.0], via Wikimedia Commons

This post (inspired earlier this week by my cats) is dedicated to all the living beings who poo indoors. Those who poo outdoors, or who are olfactorally (is that a word?) challenged, can feel free to make up their own ditty.

(As for the meter, if you were alive and hearing when you were seven, spent any time on an elementary school bus or playground, and know your way around a baseball diamond, you'll recognize it* in a flash.

FYI: I wanted to do this to the tune of the 80s rap hit Bust a Move, but who has that kind of time? Plus, the verse with "yellow" in it kept throwing me off-topic.)

Caution! The following words, when read in time, and in rapid succession, might trigger an earworm infestation in those who are susceptible. Proceed with caution.

Kitty Shita

I was walking through the door, when it (the stench) knocked me to the floor.
Kitty shita! Kitty shita!

With horror in my eyes, I croaked, "OMG! Did something die?!"
Kitty shita! Kitty shita!

What the frell could she have eaten, to make her turds so flocking stinkin'?
Kitty shita! Kitty shita!

There's irony in being fastidious, when your GI tract is so insidious.
Kitty shita! Kitty shita!

How can you be so tiny, and harbor demons in your hiney?
Kitty shita! Kitty shita!


[insert 15-second pause for drum solo and break dancing...
...3, 2, 1...]


You dug a crater in which to deposit it, took a dump, but failed to cover it.
Kitty shita! Kitty shita!

You might think it's stupid, but you don't have to scoop it.
Kitty shita! Kitty shita!

Company's coming - they'll be here soon; spray Febreze in every room!
Kitty shita! Kitty shita!

And one more thing...

Should you be inclined to judge, I suggest you take a whiff of your own fudge.
Kitty shita! Kitty shita!


So, who wants some chocolate?! I have all kinds of it (Milk Duds, Whoppers, Hershey bars, Reese's...) waiting for the trick-or-treaters, and I'm sure I have some to spare! 

OK, maybe next time. 

* The name of the original ditty (author unknown), that we ALL sang in elementary school, is "Diarrhea." If you don't know it, message me privately and I'll get you the words. Hint: If you slide into home and feel a little foam, it's, well, you know

Guess what?! I googled "words that rhyme with diarrhea" today! ☺☺ (There are a butt load of them.)

Also, you might be interested to know that I had a few alternate titles for my ditty (all rhyming with diarrhea, of course):
<> Digested Chia
<> Brown Urea

<> Fudge Tortilla

Oh, and if the dogs had written a ditty on the same subject, it would've been called, "Somebody's Bakin' Cookies; Gotta Get 'Em While They're Warm!"

There would be no other words to their song. 

OK, that's all. Feel free to write your own verse to the ditty and leave it in comments! 

"Hey, did somebody say kitty shita?"

P.S. There might be a (highly unconventional) cat litter/box review in your future. Think of this as the prequel. 


  1. Hold on, where's the video of the break dancing? :)

  2. Thanks for the laugh this morning!
    P.S. my mom loves almond roca but this might give her a new taste...

  3. BOL funny. Have a fabulous Friday and Happy Halloween to you all and may your day be a frightening one in good way.
    Best wishes Molly


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