((ring)) 'Hello?' 'Is your toilet purring?'

"Er...uh...I guess?"

"Then you better hurry up and CYA (cover your @ss)!"

Seriously?

(Note: The Chronicles of Cardigan does not endorse making prank calls. It's just wrong. ;)

~~~~~~~~

True Story...

While an unsuspecting human was "resting" on the toilet, thinking deep thoughts (like about all the Reese's cups she/he can't wait to lift from her/his kids' Halloween candy, for example), she/he suddenly becomes aware of a loud purring in the seemingly barren bathroom.

Barren Bathroom (human on toilet removed)

"WHAT THE FUDGE?!" wondered the human.

Then, after straining to bend over far enough (without becoming dethroned) to check the crack under the door (and briefly pondering lifting one butt cheek for a quick backward glance), it was determined that the purring was coming from the toilet paper storage receptacle on the floor.

"HUH???"

And thus, Bertie's secret zen place was no longer a secret.

~ The End ~

Editor's Note: I thought about doing a more solemn post today, considering the impacts being felt by Hurricane/Superstorm Sandy, but then I thought a cheap laugh (at my expense) might be more appreciated. ;-) Obviously (and thankfully), my family was spared the brunt of the storm, but for those who were not, my thoughts and prayers are with you.

[Sound Siren] Special Canine Weather Bulletin...

Good evening. Jon Farleigh and Dewi here with a special weather bulletin.

As you might know from other, less canine news sources, we (along with millions of other East Coast dogs) are sitting here like rubber ducks, waiting for the uninvited arrival of that haint called Sandy.

No, not this Sandy (our once foster kitten)...

And certainly not her kick-butt namesake (who lives under the sea with the square pants-wearing sponge)...

image source

No, it is that giant, whirling hag in the sky, who (just like her heinous cousin Irene) is making all the humans scramble to buy all the bread, ice and batteries within a million miles, because she is threatening to do THIS:

unaltered image source

So, we would just like to remind you (so that you do not worry about our stubby-legged selves AND can take immediate precautions - as needed - for your own whatever-sized-legged selves) that we are prepared with our (previously published at Richmond Pet Lovers.com)...

EMERGENCY 24-HOUR DOG'S GUIDE TO SURVIVING A POWER OUTAGE*.

Please also take note that in the event we have to use this guide (which means we will also be working part-time as human foot warmers), our regular bloggings will become (temporarily) less regular.

Please refer to your other (less canine) news sources for current inclement weather information.

*Our guide has only been tested one time, on us, and might not be entirely appropriate for your current electrical (or life) situation. Does not apply to cats. 

Hey, why is your jacket more water repellent than mine?

Because, brother. I'm Batman.

;-)

Be safe, everyone!