|The dog made me do it.|
Preface: The first time I published this story (on a Wednesday), "Wordless Wednesday" was in the title; "butt crack," however, was not. Also, #TongueOutTuesday was not a thing back then. If it had been, I wouldn't have ruined #WordlessWednesday (nope, I would've ruined #TongueOutTuesday instead).
Oh, and also:
#DidYouKnow? The scientific name for butt crack (two words) is intergluteal cleft. Yep, said Google AND Wikipedia. http://t.co/Qw7D8FFS99— Elizabeth Keene (@ChroniclesCardi) May 12, 2015
"Intergluteal cleft" was too long to put in the blog title. (If you were following me on Twitter, you'd know this kind of trivia before the general population. Just saying.)
<end of preface>
Don't you hate it when you bend over to pat a friendly dog out in public and your pants (both under and outer) ride down to where the sun don't (naturally) shine?! Oh my gosh, I do too! Especially when my spouse tells me about it AFTER the fact. Like this one time...
I did it. I finally got photographic proof of a pet (of mine) with her tongue partway out.
Anyone know why dogs and cats do this sometimes - forget to put their tongues back in? I mean, I think I'd notice if my tongue was sticking partway out. Wouldn't you? Of course, there was this one time (last weekend) when I showed half my butt to some innocent bystanders at the dog mall. (Not on purpose, OK? I'd bent way over to pet a happy westie.) Never mind that the victims were a sweet older couple from my church. Anyway, the point is, I didn't know I'd mooned them until after they'd walked away, because my spouse - who'd witnessed the whole thing, in helpless, humored bewilderment - told me so.
I swear I didn't notice when it happened - not even the slightest breeze! And, you can count on this: I will NEVER again exclaim behind a girlfriend's back, "That hussy totally knows half her @ss is hanging out the top of her pants! Sheesh, what is wrong with people?! And trade that thong for some granny panties while you're at it!" Nope, you'll never hear such ugliness from me again.
Furthermore, why hasn't anyone invented an "alarm" to prevent this kind of thing yet? Like something one can clip to the inside of one's waistband, that delivers a harmless electric shock whenever there's a change in brightness and/or temperature in the cheek-al area? Let's see that on Shark Tank and then, on QVC! Wouldn't you buy one? Oh, come on, humor me, people!
Well, fine, go on and be that way! Here, just look at these adorable pictures of my sweet Tigger with her tongue poking out!
|This is so cute, I've just gotta squee! ♥|
Now please, have a great day. And remember, crack kills!