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| The dog made me do it. |
Preface: The first time I published this story (on a Wednesday), "Wordless Wednesday" was in the title; "butt crack," however, was not. Also, #TongueOutTuesday was not a thing back then. If it had been, I wouldn't have ruined #WordlessWednesday (nope, I would've ruined #TongueOutTuesday instead).
Oh, and also:
#DidYouKnow? The scientific name for butt crack (two words) is intergluteal cleft. Yep, said Google AND Wikipedia. http://t.co/Qw7D8FFS99
— Elizabeth Keene (@ChroniclesCardi) May 12, 2015
"Intergluteal cleft" was too long to put in the blog title. (If you were following me on Twitter, you'd know this kind of trivia before the general population. Just saying.)
<end of preface>
Don't you hate it when you bend over to pat a friendly dog out in public and your pants (both under and outer) ride down to where the sun don't (naturally) shine?! Oh my gosh, I do too! Especially when my spouse tells me about it AFTER the fact. Like this one time...
I did it. I finally got photographic proof of a pet (of mine) with her tongue partway out.
Anyone know why dogs and cats do this sometimes - forget to put their tongues back in? I mean, I think I'd notice if my tongue was sticking partway out. Wouldn't you? Of course, there was this one time (last weekend) when I showed half my butt to some innocent bystanders at the dog mall. (Not on purpose, OK? I'd bent way over to pet a happy westie.) Never mind that the victims were a sweet older couple from my church. Anyway, the point is, I didn't know I'd mooned them until after they'd walked away, because my spouse - who'd witnessed the whole thing, in helpless, humored bewilderment - told me so.
I swear I didn't notice when it happened - not even the slightest breeze! And, you can count on this: I will NEVER again exclaim behind a girlfriend's back, "That hussy totally knows half her @ss is hanging out the top of her pants! Sheesh, what is wrong with people?! And trade that thong for some granny panties while you're at it!" Nope, you'll never hear such ugliness from me again.
Furthermore, why hasn't anyone invented an "alarm" to prevent this kind of thing yet? Like something one can clip to the inside of one's waistband, that delivers a harmless electric shock whenever there's a change in brightness and/or temperature in the cheek-al area? Let's see that on Shark Tank and then, on QVC! Wouldn't you buy one? Oh, come on, humor me, people!
Well, fine, go on and be that way! Here, just look at these adorable pictures of my sweet Tigger with her tongue poking out!
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| This is so cute, I've just gotta squee! ♥ |
Now please, have a great day. And remember, crack kills!
LOL!! I totally hate it when that happens! My husband also "forgets" to tell me until later. Sigh... Husbands!! :P
ReplyDeleteI know, right? He could've at least tapped me with his foot (or stepped in behind me to cover it up)! ☺
DeleteAwesome! I now need to use Intergluteal Cleft in my daily conversations more often!
ReplyDeleteYou wouldn't believe (or maybe you would) how many times I used that phrase in conversation today. :)
DeleteYou got ma laughing so hard. Maybe because it has happened to her too. She often yells "why can't jean makers make jeans for high waist people!" She was squatting at Big Lots last week looking at something on the bottom shelf and I gave her the nose, right on her crack. It was a signal she needed to get up since she had been squatting too long but she took the hint that her butt was showing.
ReplyDeleteUs dogs have it made, we can just throw our tail up in the air and wave our butt hole around like we just don't care.
Carma, you already know how you crack me up. :) A swift, cold, wet dog nose to the offending crease would be so much more civil than electric shock treatment. And yes, dogs (and cats) have it much easier!
DeleteThe tongue peeking is always the greatest little thing. And yeah speaking of butt cracks apparently there's some weird celebrity news that the drummer from Metallica wears a red thong when playing but I think the official word is "nope, just his buttcrack with some weird shadow effects"
ReplyDeleteEW! Red butt crack! Oh, HE needs to get some granny panties! But speaking of celebs' butt cracks...my husband sent me this photo of Gerard Butler's plumber butt to cure me of the massive crush I had on him...http://www.eonline.com/news/397795/this-is-what-gerard-butler-s-butt-crack-looks-like-at-the-airport
DeleteIt kinda worked, too. :(
hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!! Hilarious!
ReplyDeleteღ husky hugz ღ frum our pack at Love is being owned by a husky!
I try to wear tank tops under my tshirts all the time that are longer so they cover my bum :)
ReplyDeleteAlso sometimes Rolo sleeps with a little bitty part of his tongue out. He has to be super exhausted to do this though. Its funny cause I touch it with my finger and he wakes up not knowing what was going on.
You didn't ruin anyday, it's funny! When I bend over I always think about that, especially around dogs,as they like to stick their noses their!!
ReplyDeleteThe little pink tongue is darling, I live seeing it. I have email, Google +, cause you almost have ti with Google, opened Face book again, but Twitter is just beyong me!! Please tell me what a hashtag is too, everything is now HASHTAG.
I'm really behind on my social stuff, but then I'd be on my phone all the time.
Tigger's tongue is precious, just a delicate little hint of a tongue. I once dated a guy who's mom thought it was Indelicate to stick one's tongue out in public, so when she ate an ice-cream cone she'd take bites instead of licks.
ReplyDeleteBend at the knees! Bend at the knees! That's the only way I know to avoid it. At least Tigger and her little tongue are darn cute!
ReplyDelete-Jessica Shipman from Beagles & Bargains