Monday, May 9, 2011

Mother's Day Revelations

(Dog content will return tomorrow; I promise.)

In a moment of pure revelation, yesterday just before lunchtime,

I had a vision of the perfect Mother's Day lunch,

which in the fog and noise of my mind, was free from all responsibility related to my own motherhood, including my own children.

So next thing I know (while the Hubby was off somewhere completely oblivious to my enlightenment)...

I (almost) apologetically inquired of Oldest Child:
"What would you think if instead of all of us going out to lunch, Daddy and I go out and leave the three of you home to make your own lunches?"

To which Oldest Child shot back in a panic, "No way! It's Mother's Day! We're your kids and should be with you, not Daddy!"

To which I smartly rebutted, "But on Mother's Day moms are supposed to get a break from their kids."

[silence and look of shock on Oldest Child's face]

Oh, I thought. Did I just say that outloud to my child? She's gonna need therapy, I further pondered, but yet, could not stop myself from continuing in a fit of desperation...

"But you can eat all the bagels (Dad had purchased from the local bakery that morning) and all the brownies (Middle Child had baked the previous day)...and (after mentally inventorying every snack food currently in the pantry) all the microwave popcorn you can eat!"

To which Youngest Child (who was listening) quickly chimed in, "Yay!"

To which Middle Child interjected bossily, "I call the cinnamon crunch bagel!"

To which Youngest Child whined, "But that one was mine!"

To which I reminded Youngest Child, "There are two of those in the bag."

To which Youngest Child stated in relief, "Oh."

To which Oldest Child blurted out, "Can I have the leftover taco (from previous night's dinner)?!"

To which the Hubby and I joyfully replied, in unison, "Sure!"

As I glanced around at the dirty dishes piled in the kitchen sink and remembered the baskets of folded kids' laundry needing to be put away, I had a second revelation.

Me to kids:
"Since it's Mother's Day, I'll be needing you to unload the dishwasher and then load up all these dishes, and while you're at it, I don't want to find even a crumb from your lunches when I get back, so clean it all up...and after you get done in here, put away all your laundry, and then clean the cat litter. We'll be back right after lunch, so get moving."

To which they blankly (almost robotically) replied, "OK."

I knew they hadn't heard anything I had said beyond "unload the dishwasher," but the thought of driving away to a quiet Italian restaurant -- without them -- somehow made it alright.  :)


  1. Brilliant! And I'll bet everyone survived just fine.

  2. lol - I love the exchange between the two of you and the kiddos. I have to admit - I now have a hankering for all-you-can eat bagels, brownies and popcorn!

    I'm glad you were able to enjoy a lovely lunch. :)

  3. It was so great to meet you at Paws in the Park - and I'm glad that you had the Mother's Day that *you* wanted!

  4. Sounds like an ideal day! I slept late, didn't cook, and went to the movies. Seeing Chris Hemsworth shirtless was the best Mother's Day present EVER. ;-)

  5. "But on Mother's Day moms are supposed to get a break from their kids."

    I'm going to remember that for the future!
    Just joking!(I think)

    In the end, it sounds like it was a great day for everyone!


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