Classic Cardigan: The Princess and the Piece of Kibble (with enhanced voice narration!)

Hi, there, y'all! As noted previously, today I am re-posting a classic. In fact, out of 439 published posts, this happens to be one of my favorites. Maybe it's one of yours, too. :)

And since nowadays, most re-releases come loaded with enhancements and/or bonus footage, I've decided to freshen this post up a little by adding in a distinct (and setting-appropriate) narrator: A Scottish Butler.
(Who doesn't like the melody of a sexy Scottish brogue, right?) 

Click the Play icon above to hear a short audio clip of a sexy Scottish brogue.

And by Scottish Butler, naturally, I mean Gerry here:

Gerard Butler image source

Hold on a sec...

[insert 5 seconds]

Okay, sorry about that. Needed to take a few drags out of a brown paper bag. A little lightheaded, is all. ;)

So now, without further delay (and with sexy Scottish Butler brogue narration - in your imagination), please enjoy afresh (originally published on February 10, 2012):

The Princess and the Piece of Kibble

Once upon a time, in a land not far enough away...

There lived a fair princess, more delicate than a petunia petal.

Behold; I am delicate.

But there were members of the royal staff who were skeptical of the princess' royal heritage, and plotted to put her to the test.

Lord of the Bedchamber: That's no lady.
Deputy Clerk of the Closet: Yeah, she's about as royal as Burger King.

And that night, secretly, before the princess finished brushing her teeth with a fish flavored kitty Greenie, the two dubious staffers conned a commoner into sticking a piece of kibble under the princess' mattress (a huge pile of towels).

Not a rodent turd.

If the princess was truly royalty, her delicate skin would detect the bump under her towel-mattress and she would not be able to sleep.

What are dogs doing in my bedchamber?

Who are you calling a dog, cat face? You'll address me as Lord. And he's the Deputy.

But the Deputy had become fixed on something...

It's calling my name.

It's coming from in here!

Found it!

Mmmm, tasted like chicken!

Unfortunately for the staff, the princess later got wind of their hair-brained scheme and had them demoted to Court jesters.

Tequila!

The End

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The inspiration for this hair-brained blog post?

Right here. Pure Sesame Street brilliance from my youth. ;)

Click here if video doesn't load.

Have a great weekend, everybody!