So yesterday I (re)
introduced you to the Dewi Dance and how because we (the folks who live in my house) showered him with lots of wonderful attention whenever he performed it on command, Dewi
might have started offering it up unsolicited.
I know what you're thinking. And yes, (despite the obscene cuteness) I tried to ignore him. It's not right to reward a dog for offering up a behavior (simply to get the reward) without being told to do it. Anyone who's been through basic training with a dog should know this. ;-) So anyway, it was a battle of wills that first time (or three), but Dewi eventually got tired of waiting and wandered off. And we don't do the Dewi Dance anymore.
That's because it's now the Dewi Stance. Dewi works with me on it almost daily, and it's possible that I might be completely trained by Christmas.
Allow me to elaborate through pictures and dialogue.
It's hard to teach an old lady new tricks.
Dewi: Oh, for Pete's sake, would you look over here already?! Hellooooo! I'm not playing here.
Me: [stoic face, looks straight ahead, thinks] I won't look, I won't look....just ignore him....
5 minutes later
I find poop on the dining room rug; however, I fail to connect it to The Dance.
A few days later - repeat the same scenario. No poop, but Dewi is precariously positioned by the door to the "doggie snack stash."
A few days later - repeat the same scenario. Pee accident. (I begin to sense a pattern.)
The stance has many meanings.
Just like the words '
aloha' and '
shalom' - to gain meaning, one must consider the context of The Stance.
The Poo and/or Pee Stance
Dewi: One Who Has Thumbs and Lets Me Outside, I have no buttocks and, therefore, am in imminent danger of blowing (and simultaneously extinguishing) this fire in my hole.
Me: [using soprano voice] Need to go potteee?
Dewi: [runs frantically to back door]
The Snack Time Stance
Dewi: One Who Makes Noms Appear When My Insides Are Grumbling, I don't know why, but my insides grumble at this same time every time it is not nighttime. I need noms.
Me: [using soprano voice] Need to go potteee?
[cue crickets chirping - checks watch for time - it's between 12:15 and 1 p.m (snack time)]
Me: [using soprano voice] Wanna snack?
Dewi: [gallops to kitchen]
The Tattle-Tale Stance
Dewi: One Who Reigns Supreme Over Jon Farleigh, Jon Farleigh has stolen my chewie/toy (even though he has his own chewie/toy) and is saying "neener neener." Please get him.
Me: [using soprano voice] Need to go potteee?
[cue crickets chirping - checks watch for time - it's 9:30 a.m. - remembers that both dogs just got new chewies - notices Dewi breaking eye-contact and glancing over toward Jon Farleigh who is hoarding both chewies]
Me: [using parental voice] Jon Farleigh, give me that! [physically retrieves object from JF]
Dewi: [prances around in circles, takes object and relocates to next room]
The Fetch Stance
Dewi: [drops rope at my feet] One Who Makes This Rope Fly, I urgently need to fetch.
Me: [using whiny voice] But, we just did this 10 minutes ago (as if he can understand me).
Dewi: Must fetch.
Me: But...
Dewi: Must.
Me: [groans and throws rope]
Dewi: Scampers to fetch rope and continues this cycle about 248 more times.
The 'Everything Else' Stance
(Note: I'm still learning.)
Dewi: One Who Can Read My Mind, I'd like a ham sandwich, toasted, with mustard and pickles.
Me: [using exasperated voice] Dewi, I don't know what you want. What do you want???
Dewi: Forget it already. Sheesh.
Notes and disclaimers:
- As I draw breath, all of this is true, including the interpretations, until you can prove otherwise.
- Dewi and Jon Farleigh are let outside to poo and pee several times/day, at regular intervals.
- Jon Farleigh can "dance," too, but he cannot balance on his haunches.
- He does not dance unsolicited.
- I used the same photo six times in this post.
- I will be posting short, non-wordy posts the rest of this week.
~~ Aloha and Shalom ~~
:)