Monday, October 31, 2011

Who let the brute dogs out?!

Be afraid!

(Took this last week in my own backyard. Creepy, huh?)
There have been casualties!

Mutilated! (Middle Child is devastated.)
Who could have done this?!

I eat you!!!
Why Count Barkula


Blood-and-Gourd Dog, of course!

This is beginning to feel lame.
Get out while you still can!

My affection for you is dwindling.
Don't look back!

Blood-and-Gourd Dog? Seriously?
Happy Halloween!

Reminder! Today is the last day to vote for your favorite Happiness photo and caption!

With only a few votes separating the leaders, it is still anyone's contest to win!

Friday, October 28, 2011

The Zombie Chronicles of Cardigan

I can't see out of my right eye.

I probably should've passed on that last cup of coffee.

If I close my eye, will it be night?

You'd look like this, too, if you just realized the sun is Eva's eye.

I don't know how to be scary. I just like watching birds.  


(I blame this on It has taken over my brain.)

Jon Farleigh, Dewi, Tigger, Eva, Lulabelle and I wish you a festive, safe and zombie-free pre-Halloween weekend! :)

Off to call Ghostbusters...

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Do All Holes That Dogs Dig Lead to China?

Sometimes I wake up in the morning and have no idea what I'm going to post on the blog (like yesterday and today).* I used to get really stressed out about it, but with time, I've learned to just go about my day as usual, and most of the time, something inspires me. (If not, I just go through my photos, pick something cute and put the word "random" in the title. :)

But anyway, today, as I read through some other dog blogs, I saw a couple references to the phrase "my dog dug a hole to China," and for the first time in my adult life, I questioned the validity of it. Not whether a dog (or anyone) could actually dig through the planet, but whether my dog (if he could HYPOTHETICALLY dig a hole that deep) would actually end up in China?

So how long do you think it'll take us to get to China?

But not only that, is this phrase "digging a hole to China" used only in North America? Or do dogs all over the globe mysteriously dig to the same place? And what about dogs in China? Do they dig to North America?

Is anyone else with me???

You should know that because I suffer from some degree of obsessive-compulsive disorder, I couldn't stand not knowing the answer, so I googled "digging a hole to China." 

North American readers pay attention: If you think your dog might be digging to China, guess what? You'd be WRONG. Your dog will actually end up under the Indian Ocean somewhere off the west coast of Australia. Talk about a bubble-burster. :(

(Those of you NOT in North America can go here to see where your dog would end up.)

Is that China? What's it supposed to look like?

But I'm still wondering of my non-North American readers: Do you even use the phrase "my dog is digging to China?"

Will you let me know in the comments so I can sleep?

Thank you. :)

*It's safe to come back tomorrow. I've already planned what I'm posting. :)

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Random Wednesday: Aquasaurs and Pumpkins

You might remember I am raising Aquasaurs. :) Herman and one sibling are still with us.

This is Herman. 
Is it me or does he look kind of cute here? :)

This is what Herman is looking at.
See him down there in front by the small volcano? 

Anyone want to guess what Herman might be thinking? :)

Here's a photo of Eva with a pumpkin.
She's rolling her eyes at me. :)

Here's another picture of a pumpkin.
That blob is all the fur I brushed off of Jon Farleigh today. He rolled his eyes at me, too. :)

Life is hard. :)

Hope no one looked at you the wrong way today.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

From Dewi Dance to Dewi Stance - How I Learned to Converse With My Dog

So yesterday I (re)introduced you to the Dewi Dance and how because we (the folks who live in my house) showered him with lots of wonderful attention whenever he performed it on command, Dewi might have started offering it up unsolicited. 

I know what you're thinking. And yes, (despite the obscene cuteness) I tried to ignore him. It's not right to reward a dog for offering up a behavior (simply to get the reward) without being told to do it. Anyone who's been through basic training with a dog should know this. ;-) So anyway, it was a battle of wills that first time (or three), but Dewi eventually got tired of waiting and wandered off. And we don't do the Dewi Dance anymore. 

That's because it's now the Dewi Stance. Dewi works with me on it almost daily, and it's possible that I might be completely trained by Christmas. 

Allow me to elaborate through pictures and dialogue.

It's hard to teach an old lady new tricks.

Dewi: Oh, for Pete's sake, would you look over here already?! Hellooooo! I'm not playing here.

Me: [stoic face, looks straight ahead, thinks] I won't look, I won't look....just ignore him....

5 minutes later

I find poop on the dining room rug; however, I fail to connect it to The Dance.

A few days later - repeat the same scenario. No poop, but Dewi is precariously positioned by the door to the "doggie snack stash."

A few days later - repeat the same scenario. Pee accident. (I begin to sense a pattern.)

The stance has many meanings.

Just like the words 'aloha' and 'shalom' - to gain meaning, one must consider the context of The Stance.

The Poo and/or Pee Stance
Dewi: One Who Has Thumbs and Lets Me Outside, I have no buttocks and, therefore, am in imminent danger of blowing (and simultaneously extinguishing) this fire in my hole.

Me: [using soprano voice] Need to go potteee? 

Dewi: [runs frantically to back door]

The Snack Time Stance
Dewi: One Who Makes Noms Appear When My Insides Are Grumbling, I don't know why, but my insides grumble at this same time every time it is not nighttime. I need noms.

Me: [using soprano voice] Need to go potteee?

[cue crickets chirping - checks watch for time - it's between 12:15 and 1 p.m (snack time)]

Me: [using soprano voice] Wanna snack? 

Dewi: [gallops to kitchen]

The Tattle-Tale Stance
Dewi: One Who Reigns Supreme Over Jon Farleigh, Jon Farleigh has stolen my chewie/toy (even though he has his own chewie/toy) and is saying "neener neener." Please get him.

Me: [using soprano voice] Need to go potteee?

[cue crickets chirping - checks watch for time - it's 9:30 a.m. - remembers that both dogs just got new chewies - notices Dewi breaking eye-contact and glancing over toward Jon Farleigh who is hoarding both chewies]

Me: [using parental voice] Jon Farleigh, give me that! [physically retrieves object from JF]

Dewi: [prances around in circles, takes object and relocates to next room]

The Fetch Stance
Dewi: [drops rope at my feet] One Who Makes This Rope Fly, I urgently need to fetch.

Me: [using whiny voice] But, we just did this 10 minutes ago (as if he can understand me).

Dewi: Must fetch.

Me: But...

Dewi: Must.  

Me: [groans and throws rope]

Dewi: Scampers to fetch rope and continues this cycle about 248 more times.

The 'Everything Else' Stance
(Note: I'm still learning.)
Dewi: One Who Can Read My Mind, I'd like a ham sandwich, toasted, with mustard and pickles.

Me: [using exasperated voice] Dewi, I don't know what you want. What do you want???

Dewi: Forget it already. Sheesh.

Notes and disclaimers:
  • As I draw breath, all of this is true, including the interpretations, until you can prove otherwise.
  • Dewi and Jon Farleigh are let outside to poo and pee several times/day, at regular intervals.
  • Jon Farleigh can "dance," too, but he cannot balance on his haunches.
  • He does not dance unsolicited.
  • I used the same photo six times in this post.
  • I will be posting short, non-wordy posts the rest of this week.

~~ Aloha and Shalom ~~

Monday, October 24, 2011

Who's training who? Never Underestimate a Dancing Puppy

Kristine at Rescued Insanity wrote a poignant (in that it keenly hit home) and yet hysterical article last week about how her dog Shiva has, over time, started offering specific behaviors for "untrained" verbal cues. (Think about how, for example, a dog might come running out of dead sleep whenever it hears the word "treat.") Kristine's (giggle-inducing) account clearly illustrates how remarkably observant (and smart) her dog is. And I'll venture to say, far more observant than many of us (myself included) can fathom our own dogs to be. 

So I've been thinking: just how well do Jon Farleigh and Dewi really know me? I can't even begin to tell you all the things they do consistently, not because I've "trained" the behaviors, but because they are crafty sneaky manipulative brilliant voyeurs conditioned to my "untrained" cues and even more importantly, MY RESPONSES to their behaviors.

Observe Dewi:

This is what I used to call the "Dewi Dance." Here, Dewi is demonstrating it for a crowd of spectators (on the verge of death by extreme cuteness) at his puppy kindergarten graduation. :) His dad and I were SO PROUD of him - and lavished him with yummy treats and baby talk and belly rubs, followed by more yummy treats and baby talk and belly rubs. Undivided pleasant attention for Dewi, wouldn't you say? :)  

So yeah, we used to ask Dewi to "dance" A LOT in our house (and for total strangers in public places). 

Then one day, as I was typing at the computer in our home office - completely unsolicited - this happened...many times:

And I knew I was in big trouble. 

Stay tuned tomorrow for the exciting conclusion - including a literal interpretation of Dewi's thoughts, and how we came to stop asking him to dance. 

Happy Monday!

Friday, October 21, 2011

The #1 Reason Why I Was Too Distracted to Post What I Was Going to Post Today

I was too excited about meeting pun master Jen Yates (creator and author of the mega-blog Cake Wrecks) and her husband John at their "Wreck the Halls" book tour stop in Richmond this evening. Here's proof:

Jen and John doing their shtick

My book (not my nails) :)

Cupcake replica of "famous" camo-hunting wedding cake wreck

Another cupcake "wreck" replica

My autograph (I told her to write "whatever she wanted." :)

I'm the one with my face partially covered and my eyes closed. Flattering, huh?
(Truth: They totally thought it would be funny to block my face on purpose...but I'm still a dork with my eyes closed.)

That picture up there was fake. Here's the "real" one. I am too tall to stoop over seated people, by the way. I look like a hunchback with no neck. But I got my "Happy Hole..." book and all is good. :)

I'm too tired to write anything else, but if you want to know more about this event, e.g. Is she funny in real life? Does she eat lots of cake?, please feel free to ask me in the comments. :)

And simply because I can't leave you all weekend without something "dog," here's a gratuitous photo of Jon Farleigh's under-region:

Don't his feet look like something out of a Dr. Seuss book? :)

Oh, and in case you need to know, the post I would have posted today, had I not been too distracted, will get posted on Monday.

Have a fun (not reckless - but potentially "wreck-full") weekend!

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

The Whole Brood (minus a biped) In One Room

A first on the blog:

(I added the arrows because, apparently, I don't know whether you all can tell dogs and cats from humans. :)

Youngest Child (not pictured) must have been outside digging for worms (totally serious).

So now you've seen how I live. And now you know that we eat off the same surfaces that the cats' litter box feet/butts stand/sit on. I feel better not keeping that dirty secret any longer.

Speaking of dirty, I'm taking a day off the blog clean up pet hair...and so I can get the tune of "You Are My Sunshine" out of my head...and think up something to post on I don't have to post someone else's photo with a bad caption, like this:

I have no idea who to credit for this; The Hubby emailed it to me, because he thought it was funny.

Truth: I didn't get the joke. Who knew dogs don't see red and blue? ;D

Back on Friday, friends. :)

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Voting is open! Happiness is...THE FAVORITES!

I have collected 45 photos of your wonderful, happy pets and I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING WHEN I SAID I COULD PICK MY FAVORITES! [sigh] But I did (based on how well the photo and caption demonstrates a true moment of pet joy). And so after a long, painful process, I got the number down to 17. [sigh] :)

And now, without further ado, here they are (in no particular order).*

(Note: I've decided - to help level the field - NOT to list pet's or owner's names while voting is open. I will share that information after I announce a winner on Nov. 2.)

 Hints for viewing photos in more detail:
  • Click the first photo (once) to activate a slide show in Blogger.
  • Click the photo a second time to scroll.
  • Record the 'numbers' for your favorite(s) (up to five).
  • Click the 'X' to return to this blog post. 

Are you ready to vote?!
  • Use the poll (below) to vote for up to five of your favorites.
  • Each person may only complete the poll once (so send your friends and relatives).
  • The poll will close at 11:59 p.m. Eastern (US) Time on Oct. 31.
  • The reader who submitted the photo with the most votes wins a $25 donation to a shelter/rescue organization of choice (and eternal bragging rights). :)

If you can't see the poll, click here.

Good luck!
Thank you!!

*If you don't see your photo here, it's not because I didn't LOVE it! Remember, I will post "honorable mentions" the week of Nov. 2.


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