STOP the Madness! It's Time for Affirmations and Meditation With Maddox (My Thumbed Cat)

Note: Neither I, nor Maddox, are certified meditation instructors. Frankly, we don't know what the heck we're doing. This is a parody. That said, we dare you not to smile.

Welcome, friends! It's been a tough go of it (your day, life, endeavor to become a professional magician, etc.) and we want to help! Do you have three minutes (of course you do; you're on the internet looking at social media)? Yay! Let's meditate for a bit. But before we start, here are a few helpful hints:

1. Sit down. If you can't sit (because you're standing in a subway, for example), for dear life, tether yourself to something, so you don't doze off and fall on something sharp! (Note: You won't doze off. Unless you're on the toilet, in which case, I hope you doze off, and your reading device falls in. Because ew! That's just wrong.)
2. Imagine you're sitting beside a picturesque waterfall, NOT Niagara Falls, though. Too violent.
3. Get over any issues you might have with giant tabby cats who have thumbs. Especially old ones named Maddox, with crooked whiskers and eyes slightly cocked. Maddox and his paws are a gift to stressed humans. Trust me.

Alright, you're almost there! To start, Maddox will say several affirmations directly to you (feel free to read them out loud; no one will care), and then he'll lead you through some calming imagery. Ready?! OK, shhhh....

affirmations

The sun is shining through your window and through your heart.

Today you will take one step toward your dreams.

Snacks make you smile.

You feel a deep connection with your feet.

Today you will be pleasantly surprised.

You are in a state of pure joy.

You are grateful for your breath, no matter how bad it might smell.

You are a calm airplane passenger.

You look for humor and fun in as many situations as possible.

Meditation is calming and will help you not have road rage.

meditation

And now, repeat the word "catnip" while viewing the following photos (and remember to breathe).

catnip

catnip

catnip

catnip

catnip

{Now, do that again, in reverse.}

end of session

Please use caution not to stumble while exiting, and have a pleasant day. ☺

Note: Maddox will not accept money.

Bonus Sound Effects

Maddox is a former shelter cat. We adopted him in 2012 from the Richmond SPCA. He was nine years old and on a prescription diet to maintain his urinary tract health. He is a polydactyl, and my soul man.

HELLO, WORLD! I LOVE MY PETSsssss!

Sometimes one just has to shout it off the rooftop. :)

Getting up there (on the roof) is a real bletch though, especially when one is struggling to keep one's eyes open on account of the "marked drowsiness" one is experiencing from the Benadryl one is taking to quell the raging, ferociously itchy stress-related dermatitis (aka rash) all over one's knees.

Now, see that (rash comment up there)? That's what some Social Media folks might call "oversharing." Yep.  [insert frantic knee scratching]

So anyway, I've been feeling particularly sentimental about my furry companions lately and decided rather than to disturb the peace outside, I'd just shout it out all over the internet. Yay!

Oh, and I took some photos today...

Yes, that's my eye.

I have no idea what we're looking at up there.

Hey, you know how some dogs get excited by a human lying face-up on the ground, and will rush in and lick the helpless human's every inch of exposed skin? 

Yes, well my dogs don't do that.  :-p

This was the best shot I could get of Dewi and me (while gripping the camera and him at the same time) . He was just too doggone busy!

So, I call this next one (below) the Cardi-cat "Hug" (or what Maddox does to show affection). He's an arm hugger. I'm not even making this up. 

Those big mitts of his make me all warm and gooey inside. :)

Sadly, I was too drowsy to take any other photos. [nods off while thinking about scratching itchy knee]

Just a heads up that Wednesday is a big V (veterinarian) day for some of us: Bertie's "donating" his balls, Jon Farleigh's getting groomed while his poop is scrutinized, and Dewi's getting a full-on once-over (with needles and butt probes), PLUS he's getting his feet and nails done.

Thank you for thinking of them in their brief time of suffering. [yawns] Terribly sorry. 

Goodnight, moon friends. :)

I Kept Him Because His Breath Burns My Nostrils, Plus a Few Other Counterintuitive Reasons

I need to clear something up.

It might seem as if I just adopted a lovable older shelter cat, who was passed over merely for having some chronic lower urinary tract issues.

Hi, there.

Furthermore, it might seem as though I kept him for myself simply because I couldn't bear to part with him, not to mention the fact that he looks like my dearly departed Buster*, is a Cardigan Welsh kitty AND has a name that means "fortunate" in Welsh.

But, friends, sometimes things are not as they seem.

The truth is, I didn't adopt Maddox for any of those reasons. No, these are the reasons I adopted him**:

• Well, you already know about his chronic (hell-fire) halitosis. ;)
• He doesn't like to be touched on his belly, or legs, or ears, or tail.
• He thinks swiping and biting are forms of affection.
  

  

  Caution! I swipe for fun! :)

  
  
• He scares the crap out of Jon Farleigh and Dewi (because instead of running away from them when they're being bratty, he charges them).
  

  

  Don't worry; I'm choosing not to be bratty in this particular photo. ;-)

  
  
• He slops his prescription wet food all over the floor (of my bathroom, where he is fed away from my other cats).
• He sprays water when he drinks.
• His tongue is really really looooong.
• He sometimes forgets to put his long tongue back in his mouth after he grooms himself.
  

  

  Sometimes, I leave it out to air dry.

  
  
• He sleeps a whole lot (read: he doesn't appreciate being kept awake for forced playtime and cuddling).
• He's not a cuddler.
• He claws at rugs and carpet.
• He's much larger than your average house cat (and has two big extra claws on each of his front paws).
  

  

  Rawr.

  
  
• He's fond of hiding under the bed.

If he were sweet and cuddly and younger and had good manners, I would have written up a nice account of his foster experience (for potential adopters) and taken him back to the shelter. Just like I took back the foster kittens, who were all, incidentally, adopted within two weeks of being spayed/neutered.

Wait; I'm not sweet and cuddly??

Hold on while I think. Uh, NO.

I mean, really? Even if I coated it in crushed Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, I don't think I could write an accurate description of Maddox that wouldn't send the typical person-looking-for-a-nice-cat-to-adopt speed walking in the opposite direction of his cage.

But, you know what? Before I even inquired about fostering him, I knew taking in a less-adoptable senior cat with special needs would be nothing like beefing up and socializing three adorably sweet kittens (who would - barring something disastrous - have no trouble getting adopted). And I was prepared to deal with the fallout (read: keep him).

Maddox's groupies

And this is why, for the foreseeable future, I won't be fostering any other less-adoptable adult cats***! :-) (And please, Powers-that-be, if it's all the same, one Buster-look-alike Cardi-cat is plenty for me. Thank you. Amen.)

And folks, I think that's about it. Glad we're clear (on why I kept Maddox) now!

* No, I didn't adopt him because of this; I became fixated on him because of this!
** Of course, these aren't all the reasons: He purrs, follows me around, "speaks" to me, goes gaga over catnip, plays with toys, blends really well with my other cats, and charms my husband (with his looks). Also, we survived Eva's earlier days (so, clearly, we have the patience of Job). Oh, and I love him to pieces. :)
*** Kittens (when the time comes) are still welcome!

Editor's note: Post spottiness continues this week. :( But, on the bright side, spotty is better than nothing, right?! :)

He's a Cardigan Welsh Cat?! Excuse me while I fall off my chair!

Not even I could have made this up. 

What do you think? Serendipity, or something else? 

Maddox (my current foster cat) is a polydactyl. He has six toes on each of his front paws, instead of the usual five. If you look closely at the inside edges of his paws (in this photo), you'll see the tips of the extra (thumb-like) digits. (He looks like he's wearing mittens. :)

I'm a polydactyl cat. See my "thumbs"?

But that's not why I'm falling off my chair.

The other night (right after I wrote last Friday's post), I decided - out of the blue - to Google "polydactyl cat," mostly because I was curious about the genetics.

Turns out, these cats (with the extra toes) have quite a history, steeped in all sorts of folklore. (I won't include all of that in this post, but you can read all about it here.)

It also turns out that nearly all of the world's population of polydactyl cats is located in the East Coast of North America (where I live) and in South West Wales.

Alright.

But, it also turns out that polydactyl cats are known by several nicknames, like, for example, mitten cats, boxing cats, Hemingway cats and Cardi-cats.

Cardi-cats?? Why the heck are they called Cardi-cats? (I thought to myself the other night.)

Um, well, turns out (a little further down the Wikipedia page) that:

"Polydactyls are very common in the Cardigan area of Wales, where they are known as 'Cardi-cats.'"

Image Source
Cardiganshire: Where the dogs are low and the cats have many toes. :)

Please note that they did not say polydactyls are common in any area of Wales, OTHER THAN CARDIGAN (in former County Cardiganshire).

Also, please note what the AKC says about the origin of the Cardigan Welsh Corgi (of which breed Jon Farleigh and Dewi belong):

"In the beginning, the Corgi came to the high country [of Wales] now known as Cardiganshire with the tall, tawny-headed Celts from Central Europe."

What are the chances? I (a self-proclaimed Cardi fool) not only got the Buster look-alike, but a relatively rare Cardi-cat, too???

OMGosh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! UPDATE!!!!!

On a hunch, I just looked up the origin of the surname "Maddox."

Guess what?! According to wiki.name.com:

"The name Maddox derives from the Welsh surname 'Maddock' meaning 'son of Madoc.' The name 'Madoc' is believed to derive from the Welsh 'mad' meaning 'fortunate.'"

Maddox's name is derived from the Welsh word for "fortunate!"

Excuse me; I have to go gaze at him while he draws breath...

P.S. Starting tomorrow, I'm saving up for a trip to Wales!