When Dewi Met Georgia (A Red-Hot Corgi Love Story)

Once upon a time in 2011, I wrote the original...

The following blog post is rated NC-17 (No Corgis over 17 admitted), due to highly ridiculous content. Reader discretion advised.

As reported by "Dwayne"

(Note: Identity changed to protect the innocent.)

For back story, look here or here.

Cast

Sam.......................................The Patriarch (and Birthday Boy)

Georgia........................Hot Sister/Precocious Daughter of Sam
Bogey............................Georgia's Overprotective Half-Brother

Jon Farleigh (JF)..................Georgia's Nonchalant Full Brother

Dewi........................Jon Farleigh's Flirtatious, Hot Roommate 

Ginny..................................Endearing Eldest Daughter of Sam
Nick...........................................Adorable Sam Great-Grandson
Rufus............................................Nick's Sweet Old Housemate

It began as a sea of red (and one blue) at the watering hole...

Jon Farleigh to Rufus (with tail): "You seen any beer around here?"

JF to Georgia (under chair): "Hey, wanna meet my roommate, Dewi?"
G: "Is he cute? Does he have a job?"

G to Dewi: "Hey, I'm Georgia, but you can call me Princess. Wanna come under here with me in the shade?"
D: "Do you like bacon?"

D: "Your coat reminds me of sweet potato jerky and a stuffed Kong. Will you be my girl?"
G: "That's the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me. Wanna play tag?"

G to D: "You got me; now I'm it! Hey, whatcha doing up there?!"

💘💋🐾🍬💄💍🎧🎵💫

**We now interrupt this blog post for "Cheesy Eighties Love Songs" as selected by "Dwayne."**

📻Dewi's Song: Don't Disturb this Groove (1987) - The System

🚑Georgia's Song: I Get Weak (1987) - Belinda Carlisle

**And now for the exciting conclusion of this blog post.**

💘💋🐾🍬💄💍🎧🎵💫

Bogey to JF: "Dude, Dad's ticked. You better do something about that blue boy or there's gonna be trouble."
JF: "I think we're gonna have to lock her in the wire tower, man."

Nick: "Check out the moves on Dewi..."

Sam to Ginny: "I smell trouble in a merle coat. Have you seen Georgia?"
G: "Bogey's on top of it, Dad."

G to B: "Is that coconut cake up there?"
B: "Yeah, and bread, too."

 G to D: "Would you be a dear and fetch me a snack?"

G (again): "Hey?! Are you listening? I'd really like a snack, please!"
D (silently, to himself): Man, those are some loud mosquitoes. Mmmm, caaaake.

JF: "Good day, eh?"
D: "Yeah. You gonna eat all that?"

~The End~

The dogs in this post are real; however, the story is fictional. Any resemblance to your Cardigan Welsh Corgi or real-life events is purely coincidental.

*****

Do your pets like parties? Do you like bacon? 😉

To the tick that bit me and died: Good riddance! To the rest: I DARE you to bite my dogs! #12Bravecto

I am one of those people who has a hard time killing things, even spiders (so I capture and release them, if I can). But there are a few creatures on this planet that--no matter how I've tried, even researching their value in the food chain--I would like to see eradicated from existence. At the top of that list? Ticks and fleas.

This post is sponsored by BRAVECTO® and the BlogPaws® Pet Influencer Network™. I am being compensated to help share information about BRAVECTO.  But we only share information we feel is relevant to our readers. Neither Intervet Inc., nor Merck & Co Inc., are responsible for the content of this article and have not written, reviewed, or edited it in any fashion. For more information about BRAVECTO please click here. 

Dewi (also a natural resource) enjoys "protected" status no matter how far he strays from the sign. Fleas and ticks take notice. 

True story: A couple weeks ago my neighbor called to see whether my husband or I had experience with big black snakes in our yard. As in, there was one coiled up warming itself on the neighbor's back deck, and they needed someone to come over there ASAP and get it the heck off. (And now you know why I needed to preface this paragraph with "true story.")

Well, being the animal nut lover I am, and having had experience collecting slimy critters, like toads, slugs and tadpoles, and handling live snakes on field trips to the science museum, for example, as a kid, with a surge of giddiness, I declared, "I'm not afraid of black snakes; I'll be right over!"

Three minutes later, armed with the walking stick my 12-year-old son made out of a tree branch and my husband (who was being overly protective), I'd made my way through the overgrown lot between our houses. Looking up the steps to their back deck, I hadn't felt that big an adrenaline rush in a really long time.

You know what would ruin this picture? Gross fleas and ticks parasite-ing on my sweet, handsome boy!

National Buffoon's Animal House (with a Side of Bacon) Starring Corgis, Jon Farleigh and Dewi

Original publish date: 5/27/13

Today, just because, I made a parody--starring Jon Farleigh and Dewi--of perhaps the greatest party flick of all time: Animal House. 

I (the buffoon of National Buffoon) call it: 

Animal House, with a Side of Bacon

With...

Jon Farleigh as Jon "Farto" Fartarsky

and

Dewi as Kent "Crappie" Arfman

A brief synopsis:

Kent (Crappie) is pledging the fraternity, of which Jon (Farto) is already a brother. 

The fraternity is:

 

Actual Dog-Greek letters

Translated (in case you don't know Dog-Greek): 

I Smelta Pie

Here is a stanza of the I Smelta Pie unofficial song:

♫ We like fried bacons and we cannot lie!

♫ We eats it with a slice of pie! (apple, of course - this is America.)

End of stanza

And, back to the plot...

So, in order for Crappie to get into I Smelta Pie, he has to go out into the field (where the deer and the antelope cantaloupe Canada Geese play) with Jon Farleigh Farto, but while Farto gets to roll in stinky things, Crappie can only stand by and watch.

Crappie (to himself, as he watches Farto find the stinky spot): Be strong. You can do this.

[sniffing]

Farto (to himself, as he plows his face into the stink): Oh, yeah.

[grunts]

[grunts]

Wowza!

Crappie to Farto: What is it, man?

Farto (to himself, ignoring Crappie, and rolling even more vigorously): Oh, yeah! This is what I'm talking about!

Crappie (as he plunges headlong atop the stinky thing): I give up! I can't take it anymore!

I Smelta Pie, be dammed by a beaver!*

Farto? Wanna go eat some bacon?

The End

Today's post has been brought to you by...

The two dog-sized, bacon neckties I purchased (with my own $2) in the cheap, holiday-themed accessory bins at Target.

Also...

Dear people who're in charge of the cheap holiday-themed accessory decisions at Target:

Remember how I wrote you a letter back in February, lamenting the fact that you offered exactly ZERO Valentine's Day-themed headband accessories, thereby forcing me to make do with "creative" substitutes, such as these green St. Patrick's Day antennae (for important blog posts such as this)?

Yeah, well, you've been redeemed.

♥,

Me

Thank you for reading! Please eat bacon responsibly!

* Despite his foul, disrespectful remark, and failing the stinky-roll abstinence test, Crappie became a full-fledged I Smelta Pie brother. 

BONUS TRACK:

From Animal House, Otis Day and the Knights - "Shama Lama Ding Dong"!

So, what's the silliest thing you ever made your pet wear? I'm talking all the way back to early childhood!

Does your dog roll in stinky things? ☺

#LoveYourPetEveryDay, Even if It's 'For Their Own Good' and They Think You're a Clod

Addendum to the disclosure: I mentioned in my previous Chicken Soup for the Soul® Brand Pet Food post that I've been feeding the brand to my pets for 47 years (OK six, which is a long time in dog years), and that it warms my soul to know they're eating wholesome food that leaves them looking and feeling great. My point is--since the food is a no-brainer, and I had so much fun tackling the #LoveYourPetEveryDay subject--frankly, getting a nod from the brand to write this post felt like a Leprechaun's rainbow shot out of the sky and smacked me upside my head--in a good way. I hope you have as much fun reading as I did writing!

My foster dog, Leona Lilly, aka Lele, a 10-year-old chihuahua, has yeasty ears that require daily flushing with medicated ear drops. Despite my warming the bottle to match her ear temperature, and singing of soothing, sing-song-y songs with made up words, when she sees me pick up the bottle, she turns tail and sprints in the other direction. It doesn't matter how many times I tell her I'm only doing it "for her own good," because I love her. She thinks the ear drops are evil and that I am their steward.

Thank dog she can't talk; I'm pretty sure she'd make my oft-surly teenagers look like D.J. Tanner wannabes in comparison.

Lele Chihuahua: "I'll take the iPhone camera over the ear drops, but could'ya get a move on with dinner?"
Jon Farleigh: "I have some fuzz in my eye."

Whoever said loving a pet every day (as opposed to once a week/every other day/annually, or only when it's fun and they grin and spin around in bliss at your magnificence) was easy, well, couldn't possibly have needed to squirt anything medicinal in a pet's orifice. And, come to think of it, probably never did these other things (that I do daily) either:

• Withhold all chocolate*.
  No, they don't get any. Not even the speck that fell off my cookie crisp knockoff cereal, or the streak of ice cream that I missed when I licked the bowl. Not even when they stare at me with giant cow eyes. Because I love them, they will literally never experience death by chocolate.
• Tether dog by the neck and/or chest to my wrist at all times while outside.
  We don't have a fenced yard, so the dogs get attached to my wrist by a six-foot strip of industrial strength nylon webbing. They go only where I go. Because I love them, they will stay out of trouble in the great outdoors. 
• Orange tabby cat-proof the kitchen faucet with a rubber band bungee.
  
  
  Bobby Flay O'Fish is obsessed with turning on the levered kitchen faucet with his muzzle. It was cheaper to clamp the lever to the faucet with a giant blue rubber band than replace the faucet with something less cat-friendly. Bobby will not go thirsty. Because I love him, I prevent him from turning on the water full blast when no one is home (or awake) and wasting water, flooding the kitchen and running our water bill over Mt. Everest. Orange tabby cats fare better when their people are not mopping up floods and flat broke.
• Limit meal size to one healthy serving, vs. a Golden Corral-sized smorgasbord of all-you-can-eat everything-under-the-sun that is edible.
  
  

  

  I know the delicacies lurking behind you, pantry door. 

  
  I could open the pantry and refrigerator/freezer doors and let the dogs help themselves to whatever they want, whenever they want (which would be all the waking hours, and all the food, except for pretzels, sour apples, and pecans--the only things the dogs have ever NOT eaten when offered). But I don't. It doesn't matter that they finish before I've had time to walk a full lap of the kitchen, or that they bore holes in my face with their pleading eyes. Because I love them, I give them one measured serving per meal of a wholesome, natural kibble (such as the new Chicken Soup for the Soul Grain Free Salmon, Sweet Potato & Pea recipe for dogs**), topped with a dollop of a wholesome, natural wet food. Corgis and foster chihuahuas with defined waistlines (vs. puffer fish middles) are much less prone to injuring themselves getting on the couch for snuggles, among other important health risks. 

Now see? It's no wonder my pets think I'm a clod.

Except, wait. That's a short list, relatively speaking. If I made a similar list of all the easy ways I love them every day (because they ROCK)--like, for example, talking to them, smooching their heads, rubbing their bellies, scratching their chins/ears/backs/butts, feeding them regularly so they don't go hungry, keeping them warm/cool/dry, giving them soft, snugly places to rest their bones, giving them treats (even bacon, sometimes), playing with them, providing toys and exercise, making them sit for cute pictures to display proudly on social media, and giving them supervised time outside in the fresh air--it would be WAY longer.

In fact, I think the hard things might pale in comparison, especially for creatures with such limited attention spans (dried up leaf blowing by!). Perhaps they don't find me cloddish, after all? ☺

A clod? I think not!

* I eat something with cocoa in it every day, because I love myself.

** Lele the foster chihuahua has more than yeasty ears, she has irritated, yeasty skin and is losing patches of hair. In case it is related to food allergies, I've switched her to the new Chicken Soup Grain Free Salmon recipe, which not only contains a novel protein to her, but also novel carb sources. All of my appendages are crossed that it clears up her issues!

Can we talk foster chihuahua Lele for a bit? OK, so she's settling in really well, for a 10yo chi-chi, who's been...
Posted by The Chronicles of Cardigan on Monday, February 22, 2016

Thank you, Chicken Soup for the Soul, for helping me sort this daily pet-love thing out! Thanks, too, for the awesome nourishment you've been making for my awesome pets over the years!

Wanna serve some Chicken Soup for the Soul food to your awesome pet? Find your nearest retailer here. You'll also find the brand at major online retailers.

Is your pet your hero? Don't forget to enter Chicken Soup for the Soul's Show Us Your Hero pet contest! You could win an appearance on the CBS Saturday morning lineup show Hidden Heroes or in an upcoming book!

Love a pet food company that's committed to giving back to pets? Check this out!

• A portion of proceeds from the sale of Chicken Soup for the Soul pet food is donated to The Humpty Dumpty Institute, helping support organizations that feed and care for animals in shelters. 
• Royalties from the sale of the new books, Chicken Soup for the Soul: My Very Good, Very Bad Dog, and Chicken Soup for the Soul: My Very Good, Very Bad Cat will be donated to the American Humane Association. 
• Chicken Soup for the Soul is the official Dog Food Sponsor of the American Humane Association's Hero Dog Awards, including, more specifically, the Therapy Dog category.
• Local shelter pets (including some who've found their forever homes) are featured on every package of Chicken Soup for the Soul brand pet food.

For the latest news, deals and of course, Chicken Soup for the Soul-warming pet stories, be sure to follow the brand on social media.

Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

How do you love YOUR pet(s) every day? Is it more easy than hard? Are you a clod? ☺

Foster dog Lele is chowing down on @chickensouppets new grain free salmon, sweet potato & green pea recipe dog food. She has AWFUL skin and ear issues, and I'm HOPING...the switch to this new food with a novel protein and carbs will help clear her up. She'll certainly not miss the bi-weekly bathing and daily ear cleanings (even though I do it for her own good). ☺ Sometimes love is hard (right, Lele?). #LoveYourPetEveryDay #sponsored #chihuahua #fosterdog #rescue #dogfood #happydog

A video posted by Elizabeth Keene (@chroniclescardi) on Feb 24, 2016 at 6:40pm PST

Watch My #TrickorTreatDogs Smooch Me on Command and You Could Win Up to $1000 in Prizes!

Y'all! Jon Farleigh has a trick for you! And you know what else? We're giving away some dog crack (aka Jones Natural Chews Lamb Lung Puffs, provided by the company), because DOGS LOVE CRACK! Oh, and THIS!

Because of our friends at Kol's Notes and Beagles & Bargains - hosting this first-ever Trick or Treat Giveaway Hop-of-its-kind - we get to not only direct you to nine other awesome blogs and trick-performing dogs, but nine other treat giveaways AND, each time you enter one of THOSE, you'll be entered into the drawing for one of three magnificent GRAND prizes! All total, worth over $1000! (Details to follow.) But first...

Who wants to see how I taught Jon Farleigh to "give a kiss" on command?!

Everyone?! OK, yay!

Note: Incorrect form. Tip: DO NOT do as I did to get this photo op.
Smearing peanut butter on one's nose is NOT a part of training this trick. 

How to Teach a Dog to "Give a Kiss" in 6 Steps
(as opposed to just randomly shoving his tongue into your face at all times)

Before you start:
If you want to try this at home, you'll need a dog who likes to lick you on the face, specifically the mouth (as opposed to your eyelids or nostrils, for example, because redirecting the tongue is beyond the scope of this lesson). If you don't like being licked on the face by a dog, then, well, please read the directions anyway; there's a quiz. ;)

Step 1. Wait to catch one's dog in a happy, but calm (tired), mood.

Note: Yes, Jon Farleigh is quoting Rhett Butler from Gone With the Wind. And, yes, he's wearing mistletoe on his head. It's for effect, OK?

Step 2. Get within tongue-shot of his face in a non-threatening way (i.e., NO STARING into his eyes or anything; that's threatening).

Step 3. Pucker up and tell him (nicely) to "give a kiss."

Step 4. Keep puckering and wait for him to take the hint.
Note: If he doesn't, maybe lick your lips or gently blow a puff of air on his nose (trust me, it works).

Step 5. Immediately after one's dog gives the kiss (but only if he waited for your command), say "thank you." DO NOT skip this step!

Step 6. Reward him using the PRAISE suggestions* below.
Note: I have never used a treat to reward Jon Farleigh for a kiss. Wouldn't want him to confuse my lips for a spot of beef liver (or lamb lung) or anything. (But a little lamb lung later on that evening, when you're not in the mood for kisses, will be JUST FINE!) 

* Suggested praise for "giving a kiss": 

1) Squeal like a piglet with joy.

2) Use your baby voice and say, "Oh, who's the best doggy in the whole wide world?! for example.
3) Lavish large amounts of rubbing and scritching upon his furry self.

Caution: Squealing like a piglet might actually entice one's dog to lick even more, making it difficult to breathe without sucking his tongue into one's airway.

Result (after several repetitions of entire procedure over several days): One's dog can "give a kiss" when told to do so.

Important (personal) aside: Jon Farleigh will also give liberal kisses when not asked to, especially when I lie on the floor on my back, or put my face next to his on the couch/bed. My husband, incidentally, does not care for facial dog smooches, but that does not stop Jon Farleigh from surprising him (husband) with a frog-like lash to the cheek.

I think Jon Farleigh might be due for some continuing education. *sigh*

So, do you want to see Jon Farleigh in action? Check him out! (Totally unrehearsed, by the way.)

Just call him "Hot Lips" Cardigan (M.A.S.H. pun intended). ☺

To whom it may concern: Dewi is not a kisser (except for a few "fairy" kisses to the eyelids first thing in the a.m.). He is, however, an expert spooner.

Let's Talk About Doggy Crack and Giveaways for a Bit

We weren't compensated with free crack (puffs) or otherwise to say this stuff, y'all; my pets (and that goes for the dogs and half the cats) GO WILD for Jones Natural Chews Lamb Lung Puffs! And yes, it IS just about one of the grossest things imaginable to think about eating. That's OK, though. It's PURE, made in the USA (organ) meat. It looks like dehydrated, grilled portobello mushrooms (or a steak that's been run over by a truck), but it's light and easily broken into small pieces (really small pieces for cats) and they LOVE it. (Read my full review here.)

Yum! (Oh wait, ew!)

I don't give it as a daily treat, because it's THAT good. Save that high-value crack for when you want your dog to do something GREAT! Like come when called, or walk on a loose lead, or not run out the front door when you open it. OR gift it to your dog (and/or cat) for the holidays! (Ahem.)

And right on time, I'm giving away a whole 8oz. bag (provided and shipped by Jones Natural Chews)! Residents of the U.S. and Canada are eligible!
(Tip: Like Jones Natural Chews on Facebook and Twitter to be among the first to know about the latest deals!)

a Rafflecopter giveaway
Did you enter? Yay! I hope you win, but that's not all! Each entry into my treat giveaway earns the entrant one chance in the GRAND PRIZE drawing (one of three grand prizes, actually, including a Peanuts Halloween Train from Lionel Trains). And because this is a blog HOP giveaway, you can enter to win a different treat prize each day during the contest period - at each participating blog. ALL of those entries count toward the grand prizes too!

Check out all the prizes and participants! For blog hop/giveaway details, be sure to visit the event page at Kol's Notes! 

Bonus Trick!

I call it the Dewi or "Crack" Dance. Dewi taught himself how to do it. ☺

A lung for me? Yes, please!

Parts of the "Give a Kiss" procedure were previously published. 

Amp Your Aura (and Karma) in Dean Russo Jewel Tone Tees From The #MountainArtwear + Giveaway!

A good day = Picking up a new foster kitten from the Richmond SPCA wearing my Dean Russo The Rescue Collection kitty t-shirt from The Mountain®. No makeup required.

(Rescue cats are my passion, y'all.)

So today, y'all, I'm talking about The Mountain clothing company. More specifically, The Mountain's Dean Russo Rescue Collection of pet t-shirts - in all their bold, benevolent, jewel-toned beauty. I mean, do you see that shirt I have on?!

Wait, look at it up close...

Note: I modeled it backwards so you could enlarge the image without my feeling cheap. Though, it looks pretty good backwards, trust me, the tee is much more becoming facing forwards. 

And, can you see that wonderful earthy effect in the dye? Not only is there interest in the t-shirt fabric itself, but due to a unique printing process, after one wash, I can't feel a difference in the cat design and the rest of the shirt. The 100% preshrunk cotton fabric is substantial (not wafer thin, requiring a second layer), but soft and non-constricting. I'm wearing an adult size SMALL (unisex). I'm also 5' 8+" and slightly fluffy. The small fits me perfectly when paired with relaxed-fitting denim. If you are smaller than I (thin/petite), you'll get a looser fitting top (would look great with skinny jeans/leggings), or you might try a kids' size XL. 

One more backwards shot with my tabby soul man, Maddox. ♥

Have I mentioned before that this precise shade of green is my favorite color? It is.

This is what it looks like (using a special, neuro-light-splitting-electromagnetic camera lens) when one's aura is amped while wearing a The Mountain t-shirt. #notreally #theauracomesfromwithin #thispiciscoolthough

And that I love wearing jewel tones* and t-shirts? Especially cat and dog and the occasional farm animal (oh, yes, I ordered it) t-shirts?

Made from environmentally friendly fabrics and dyes, in the USA t-shirts?

Maddox could be the model for this tee, don't you think? ♥ Check out his HUGE polydactyl mitts!  

And pet-loving artists who put their dog, cat and other animal art on these t-shirts? 

One more, with a derp face. ☺ Gosh, I love my old man!

And animal-loving companies that sell these artists' artwear and then turn around and donate part of the proceeds to animal welfare organizations, like the awesome no-kill Best Friends Animal Society?

Well, you do now! And guess what? The Mountain company and its t-shirts fit ALL those criteria! Yay! 

* "Neons can make you sallow. Pastels can make you look wan and gray. But jewel tones - from smoky quartz to pale citrine - make anyone look glowy."

- from this article at Oprah.com

Y'all, it's not just me; these Dean Russo shirts will make you look positively GLOWY (even on the INSIDE, because your purchase is helping animals, hence the "amping of your aura"), and you don't even have to have a baby 9 months later! Score!

That's my sweet Bertie!

BUT WAIT! I've got a HUGE DISCOUNT for you, good toward anything on the whole The Mountain site (including their dramatic Big Face™ tees - hint: there's a CORGI! - and a whole other section of Dean Russo)!

** Enter 25% off COUPON CODE: MTNPETS at checkout! **
Code good through 9/31/15.

How would you like to win a year's worth of (your choice of tee, one per month for 12 months) The Mountain tees (for yourself and up to five members of your household. That's like 60 free tees!)? Well, you MIGHT, simply by entering this giveaway!

GOOD LUCK, EVERYBODY, and be sure to follow The Mountain on social media to keep up with the latest news and discounts!

* Facebook * Twitter * Instagram * Blog * Pinterest

a Rafflecopter giveaway
Meanwhile...

"Attention, please. Kooky selfie-taking pet lady in produce. Use caution when approaching."

Truth: I walked a circle around meat and produce about 5 times for this 6 seconds of video. AND, a manager with a clipboard scooted in beside me in the salad section, pretending to look at something in the case (when she was really trying to assess whether I was a nut case), before saying "How are you, today?" and strolling off.  I guess they thought I was using my camera to spy for a competitor. Haha, if they only knew...☺

P.S. Remember that "boxed" foster kitten I had in the first image? Yes, well, this is what came out of the box when I got home...

Squee! "Coco Puffs" will be available for adoption at the Richmond SPCA in a couple weeks! ♥