Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Blogger-to-Blogger Grammar Tips: How to Avoid Homonym Hades (illustrated with funny pet photos)

A few prerequisite definitions:

  Hades: (loosely defined...by me) The place where the practically dead (from loss of readership, due to chronic -- and potentially humiliating -- misuse of homonyms) blogs go.

I wish.
(t-shirt image via Mental Floss store)
  Homonym:

<> (loosely, from wictionary.org): A word that sounds or is spelled the same as another word, but has a different meaning, technically called a homophone (same sound) or a homograph (same spelling).
(A few examples that I thought of: gross, pile, dog, dew, do)
{Come on, y'all, it's me, here. What kind of thoughts did you expect?}
Note: In the aforementioned examples, the first three words (each) have multiple meanings, but are identically spelled, while the last two only sound the same.

<> (my own definition): A word(s) invented by a smart@ss, pun-loving and/or lazy person who couldn't be bothered to think of something original.*
(Good grief, as if there aren't enough unique letter combinations in the 26-letter English alphabet!)

Oh, and just on the off chance you think this post only applies to the few and far between blogger/grammar dolts (like me): its, it's, their, there, they're, buy, by and bye are homonyms, too. (Note: If you've never, in your life, typed any of those words incorrectly, then you might be a grammar rock star, and could get bored reading the rest of this post. Unless, that is, you like self-deprecating** humor, in which case, read on.)

This is awkward.
But not as awkward as when you accidentally publish crazy words on your blog.

Practically-a-homonym: (my own definition): A word that sounds almost exactly like another word (often only differing by one or two letters), but has a completely different meaning.
Example: **deprecating and defecating
Hint: For the love of all that is dignified and good, friends, don't mix those two words up. Just don't.

 ******* 

So, as the title indicates, I'm sharing this not as an expert grammar scholar, but as a blogger who has typed her share of homonym mistakes. And not because I've been policing other blogs for errors, or because screwing up homonyms is one of my pet peeves (no, if that were true, I'd be perpetually peeved at myself).

What I am doing, however, is sharing some tips I've learned (in my nearly 3 years of blogging) for how to avoid making common (and not so common), potentially humiliating (personal examples to follow) mistakes using the wrong word(s) in your blog posts (or any other public, self-edited writing). In other words: because I don't want you to make my mistakes. I hope they help!

1. WATCH SPELL CHECK!

And by watch, I mean: Don't rush to select a suggested word, especially if the word you're using is one that you've never (or rarely) written before! When in doubt - even by the slightest hair - LOOK UP the meaning of the word! It is because I misspelled "Enunciation" with an "A," and as a result, selected "Annunciation" from the list offered by spell check, that I published this (highly embarrassing) post title (in 2011):

The Importance of Annunciation When Including a Dog in Your Holiday Card Photo Shoot


Thankfully, a concerned reader e-mailed me with my mistake only minutes after the post went live. If not for her, the title might still be out there (for horrified readers all over the globe) to this day.

(Also, the irony that I screwed up the post title because I hadn't enunciated "enunciate" is not lost on me.)

Hahahaha! Heeheeeheee! Harharhar!

2. PROOFREAD beyond spell check!

Think spell check is gonna catch the time you type "there" for "they're"? "Who's" for "whose"? "Flee" for "flea"? Of course not! Run spell check and then read through your (entire) work. Then - if you have the time - close it, take a break and then read it again.

3. Study and memorize common homonyms.

Is it second nature for you to type "its" (vs. "it's") for the possessive of "it"? Do you know the difference between "affect" and "effect"? Are you fazed that "phase" and "faze" are frequently confused?

The good news is that there are hundreds of online resources that list (ad nauseum nauseam***) the more common homonyms that typically trip people up in writing. Try Googling "commonly misused homonyms." You'll see what I mean.

*** It might make you nauseated to know that the phrase "ad nauseam" is commonly misspelled "ad nauseum." ;)

As a matter of fact, there is such a word as "throe." It rhymes with "ho," bleeches.

4. READ! READ! READ!

Ever heard the saying "you don't know what you don't know"? Well, let me tell you, there will be times when you just flat out use the wrong word (because you simply have no idea that it's wrong), and neither hades nor high water will be able to stop you. Like the time I published this title (in 2011):

'In the throws of a mid-life crisis, Tigger decided to cover her pesky gray hair'...

In all fairness to me, though, how the heck was I supposed to know that "throes" was even a word, much less correctly use it?!

Well, I'll tell you: By READING (other people's writing)! Lots and lots of it!

Wanna know how I know this?

Because FIVE MONTHS LATER, after that absurd post title had lingered out on the interwebs for thousands of (Pinterest-clicking) people to see (and probably snicker at), I read the same phrase (but with the correct spelling of "throes") somewhere else. And you know what? I laughed. Okay, NO I DIDN'T, I (used "fudge" as an expletive and) fixed it! And then (in humiliation) wrote a post titled Please, Won't You Be My Editor, in which I implored you, my readers, to inform me whenever I do something so completely NOT-brilliant, again!

Dang it, what was the point of that tirade?!

Oh yes, READING!

It's simply the only way to build one's vocabulary (short of studying the dictionary, or a dictionary-like application) to include more of the less commonly written homonyms, like "throes," for example.

So, who wants to take down some homonyms today?! ;-)

Do you have any other tips to share?

* Let it be known (and I think Shakespeare himself would agree) that there might be at least three positive arguments for the existence of homonyms:

1. puns 2. euphemisms 3. double entendre

With that said, proceed at your own risk! ;)

image via cheezburger.com memebase

P.S. Should you find an homonymic error in this post, please spell "it" in the comments. Thanks! 

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Calling All Versatile Loggers! (in Which Forestry, Pets Named Paul Bunyan, Blogging and Fudge are Oddly Related)

Disclosure/Disclaimer: I am not, nor have I ever been, a logger (as in the forest). The following subject matter is--as I discovered partway through writing it--highly conducive to puns and/or euphemisms; however, I absolve myself of intent. Therefore, any instances you might think you see (of the aforementioned) cannot be held against me.

Hello. My name is not Paul Bunyan; however, I play him on Etsy.

And you can call me Babe (not him, silly, THE DOG).
But if you do, I'll call you something much worse.
(Image and Babe-the-Blue-Ox costume via Etsy)

So first of all, in celebration of Earth Week, I would like to recognize all loggers (actually all forestry professionals and stewards) who champion (not just in word, but in deed) sustainable forestry research, education, training and practices. You rock!

And as a small token of appreciation, please feel free to copy this "Versatile Logger" badge and paste it wherever you like. (Full confession: The badge/award used to say "Versatile Blogger*," but I edited it in Photoshop.)


Oh, and also (contrary to most blogging "awards"), there are no "rules" tied to accepting the badge. Nope. So if it suits you, it's scot-free! Yay!

However, I will now share 3 random (previously unshared) things about me (just for fun - since, especially if you're an actual logger [20 years from now, under a blue moon], this might be your first time here):

1.  I have a problem with profanity. In that every time I start to use it, "fudge" comes out.

[Insert 3 seconds of silence while Elizabeth contemplates rewording that last sentence. OK, nah.]

And by fudge, I mean the word "fudge."

2.  I am banned from using the word "fudge" (as an expletive) in my own home. Scout's honor.

3.  I prefer my fudge dark, hot and syrupy (as in a condiment) or frozen (as in a Fudgsicle), as opposed to the malleable, loaf-like varieties.
Anyone else want some fudge, now, too? :) Yum!

AND THIS IS WHERE I SEND YOU OFF WITH A LOAD OF LOGGER, AKA "LUMBERJACK," POP CULTURE TRIVIA

Hello, my name really is Paul Bunyan (and don't ever forget it).

In a recent study conducted by the career guidance website CareerCast.com, lumberjack is the 2nd worst job in the U.S. for 2013. Newspaper reporter is #1. (ouch.)

On a much lighter note...

These statues of Paul Bunyan and Babe the Blue Ox, in Bemidji, MN, are on the
National Register of Historic Places

For some reason, in folklore, lumberjacks like to eat stacks and stacks of flapjacks. The folks at Hungry Jack (a Pillsbury brand) believed (in the 70s) that lumberjacks also liked eating mountains of Hungry Jack (refrigerated dough) biscuits.


ca. 1970s Hungry Jack biscuit commercial "...they gobble 'em down and the plate comes back for..."


Image via Wiki

The fast food giant, Burger King Corp., in Australia (and in no other country), calls its stores Hungry Jack's. This is because the name Burger King was already trademarked there. (Also, the "Jack" is for Australian franchise owner, Jack Cowin, not a lumberjack.)


Image via Brawny Towels (a Georgia-Pacific brand)

The Brawny Man (a lumberjack) has never had a real name and is purely fictional. In 2003, after years of research, Georgia-Pacific gave the (nearly 30-year-old) Brawny Man an updated (not so 70s) clean-shaven look.

And if you're wondering why the lumberjack at all? As cited in a 2003 story on USA Today, "research found women love him."
Well, well. :)

And with that, friends,
Happy Earth Week!

(Now, make like a lumberjack and split.)


* All thanks to Julie at The Daily Dog Blog for bestowing the "Versatile Blogger" award upon me, without which, this celebratory blog post would not exist.

P.S. Thanks also to Coralee at Bark and Chatter for the "Super Sweet Blogging" award. I now know that it must have been due to my proclivity to all things Hershey fudgy. ;)

Thursday, April 18, 2013

An Insider's Tip for Getting Cute Videos of Your Pets: Make Your Kid Send You the Ones She Took with Her Phone

Notes:

<> When I say "insider," I mean me.
<>  If you don't "have" a kid, feel free to hire one; they're usually up for it.
<>  If you do use your "own" kid (however, whatever you do), do NOT ask them to take the videos for you. No, this would, in fact, be perceived as a chore (e.g. scrubbing the toilet bowl), resulting in belligerent glances and eye-rolls, and most likely, crappy videos. Which unfortunately means that this tip is only relevant (when depending on your "own" kid) if that kid already routinely takes video of your pets for fun. 

So to clarify: the tip is to MAKE your child send all of them (the videos they already took for fun - without being asked) to you (which, frankly, might also result in some belligerent glances and eye-rolls; however, too bad, because you can threaten to take the phone away).

And now that we're all on the same page, I just scored (from Middle Child) a bunch of adorable (and funny) home videos of my pets (mostly Dewi and a couple of the kitten, and my giant shelter cat, Maddox)!

There are six in all, including a reprise of Dewi's wookiee (yes, that's the correct spelling) impersonation. You can view them all HERE at the blog's YouTube channel.

But for those who'd rather be spared the trip to the tube, here's a sampling:

Here, let me help you get your hand out from under the blanket...



Maddox's purr sounds like he's under water...



Dewi does wookiee (reprise)...


Also, Dewi might have a touch of cray-cray. ;)

One last thing about our YouTube channel: 

THE CHRONICLES OF CARDIGAN HAS A SOUNDTRACK!

Actually, it's a playlist of 17 tunes/music videos that appear as external source audio accompaniment somewhere on the blog! Elvis Presley, Van Morrison, James Brown, Bob Marley, The Beatles, The Muppets (and the list goes on)...

Anyone?!?

Have I mentioned that you all rock for being here? :)

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Waxing Nostalgic: Purina Pet Food Commercials from the 70s and 80s

Attention blog "shoppers": The contents of this post are intended for entertainment value ONLY. That said, if your opinions are such that you feel the need to offer advice about pet food choices, please refrain from doing so in comments, but rather, send me an email. In other words, I am trying to have an innocent, warm-fuzzy-feeling "parade" here and any "rain clouds" will be promptly deleted. I mean it. Thank you. :)

Alright, so before I get to the commercials and stuff, here's a bit of Chronicles of Cardigan nostalgia:

I say, eating is best done while in the napping position. 

That is adolescent puppy Jon Farleigh (c. 2010) having some breakfast. Never mind what was in his bowl (it could've been a whole steak for all he cared), he ate every meal lying down for his entire first year! For many weeks I naively thought this was some innate corgi thing. Then Dewi proved otherwise. I guess one could say Jon is the more "laid back" of the two. :)

Speaking of feeding time, as I was recently reminiscing (while creating the quiz for last week's post) about my (much) younger days, enjoying partaking of a few morsels of Purina Cat Chow (from my childhood cat's bowl), my memory suddenly cast me back to the classic series of Purina commercials, in which cats have the uncanny ability to dance the "chow chow chow." Does anyone else remember those? (You'd better be saying yes. Just sayin'.)

So anyway, that led me to Google, which led me to YouTube, which led me straight down a groundhog hole (I love groundhogs, y'all) to what seemed like a bazillion vintage (mostly 70s and 80s) pet food (and Underalls, Dr. Pepper, Charmin, Maxwell House, Big Wheel...) commercials that I had nearly forgotten about. Talk about a mind trip! And someone please tell me how the heck I got to 2013 so fast?! I mean, I was just riding my Big Wheel and having a (not diet) Coke yesterday, it seems! ;-)

But back to the point of this post: I thought some of you might like to watch some of the classic Purina* (brand) pet food commercials, too, so I compiled several of my favorites in a playlist (on the blog's YouTube channel)! 

Here are a few of my playlist faves...




You just don't know how badly I wanted my cat to do the chow chow chow. He wouldn't. However, I used to get on all fours and do it for him. Was that wrong? ;)

This Dog Chow bit is just flipping hilarious...


As is this one for Meow Mix...



You'll recognize the voice in this 70s Puppy Chow commercial...



It's Sterling Holloway (aka Winnie the Pooh). :)

And finally, who could forget the (miniature) Chuck Wagon?


Rod Serling totally could've written a Twilight Zone episode about that blasted Chuck Wagon, no? :)

So, did you see any of your favorites?
Hint: If not (ahem, Morris the cat, anyone?), jump over to the playlist; it/they might be there!

And a final thought: Is it me or are these pet food commercials a lot like sugary cereal commercials? I can still remember all of those, too. Those crafty marketers.

Happy day to you!

* Although it is the majority, Purina isn't the only pet food brand represented in the playlist. Also, Purina has never heard of me or this blog. :)

Thursday, April 4, 2013

A QUIZ! Betcha Can't Guess Where the Dogs Are! (Then again, Maybe You Can.)

Hint: NOT on my kitchen table (for once).

OK, look what I did for y'all on Tuesday!...



Bunny? Or deranged Easter Bunny? ;)
Movie Trivia Alert: Click Play arrow below for a funny 7-sec sound byte!





Flower? Or overpaid canine actor? ;)




Frog? Or dog swallowed by frog? :)

So, friends, just for fun, I thought I'd drop a little 3-question quiz on you today. Just to see whether you can guess where this little Springtime photo shoot took place (and perhaps learn a little something "new"). hehe

Here you go! It'll only take a minute!


Click HERE to take the quiz at Polldaddy.com.

So, how'd you do?! Any surprises?  ;-)

Happy dance for Friday!!!

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