That Picture Don't Make a Lick of Sense: Creature in the Car Window

It's time for another episode of...

WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GOING ON IN THIS PICTURE?

A. "Step on it, Bucky, it's a starving CORGILOPE!"
B.  Jon Farleigh is in the truck bed wearing camo antlers for a Christmas card photo shoot. 
C. Somebody stole my dog, made him do humiliating things and posted it on the internet. (Do you think I should press charges?)
D. It's Jon Deer. Duh.

Leave you best guess in comments or on the Facebook page!

And, as for last week's photo...

(Nice guesses, by the way.)

C. He was stranded there on the 2nd step, afraid of slipping off in either direction, and was resting.

Important note: This was the first time Dewi ever attempted to go up those steps (years ago). He made it up ONE step before he quit and then just parked there for 10 min, until I realized he wasn't underfoot and found him there. He and Jon Farleigh can climb stairs now (can't get back down them, but that's another blog post); however, they are NOT allowed to go upstairs in our house, and therefore, do not use these stairs. Not ever. So, NO fretting.

This was pretty doggone funny, though. Stuck on the bottom step. :)

That Picture Don't Make a Lick of Sense: Dog on the Stairs

OK, friends, ready for this week's nutty picture??

Tell me, WHY IN THE WORLD is Dewi's face mashed into that riser on the stairs?!

A. I smeared bacon grease on it.
B. He was told to go put his face in the riser (equivalent of the corner, because I said so).
C. He was stranded there on the 2nd step, afraid of slipping off in either direction, and was resting.
D. I told him he couldn't have any more of my clementine and he's pouting.

Let me know in comments or on the Facebook page!

And the answer to last week's pickle picture...

C. I was conducting an experiment to see whether he could distinguish healthy, fresh fruits and veggies from random, nasty crap in my pantry! (Hint: He can't. It's all good stuff to him.)

That Picture Don't Make a Lick of Sense: Dog With Pickled Jalapeno Slices

Ready to tackle another photo?! OK, how 'bout this one!

Question: Why is Dewi mouthing a pickle jar?

A. He's helping me unscrew the lid.
B. He's cuckoo for the taste of Mt. Olive pickled jalapeno slices (even though these are sealed in glass).
C. I was conducting an experiment to see whether he could distinguish healthy, fresh fruits and veggies from random, nasty crap in my pantry.
D. We were working on a magic trick for America's Got Talent.

What's your best guess?! Tell me in comments or on Facebook!

And, here's the answer to last week's Dog in a Tourniquet photo:

D. I was pretending to be a veterinarian (for a blog post, not in real life)!

Classic Cardigan: Do All Holes That Dogs Dig Lead to China?

Do you know what? I am so behind today that I need to wear pants on both my lower and upper halves. (Perhaps I should trademark that joke. Not only would I be behind, but I'd be a dumb@ss, too.☺)

OK, moving us all right along...once upon a day back in 2011 --when I was still posting stuff to this blog 7 days a week-- I wondered whether on continents other than North America, do all holes that dogs dig lead to China. No, not literally. I wanted to know whether all people use the same saying that their dog (kid, rabbit, turtle...) is digging a hole to China. I mean, that's a perfectly legitimate thing to wonder, right?

Anyway, I didn't need to wonder for long, and let me tell you: I was shocked and amused by readers' responses (both on the blog and on Facebook)!

Are you in a continent other than North America? If so, help out my new readers and let us know: Are your dogs gonna (mysteriously) climb out of the ground in China, too? (Now there's a fictional story idea --all dogs meeting up in China-- if I ever heard one. Maybe some day...)

Originally published on October 27, 2011:

Do All Holes That Dogs Dig Lead to China?

Sometimes I wake up in the morning and have no idea what I'm going to post on the blog (like yesterday and today). I used to get really stressed out about it, but with time, I've learned to just go about my day as usual, and most of the time, something inspires me. (If not, I just go through my photos, pick something cute and put the word "random" in the title. :)

But anyway, today, as I read through some other dog blogs, I saw a couple references to the phrase "my dog dug a hole to China," and for the first time in my adult life, I questioned the validity of it. Not whether a dog (nor anyone) could actually dig through the planet, but whether my dog (if he could HYPOTHETICALLY dig a hole that deep) would actually end up in China?

So how long do you think it'll take us to get to China?

But not only that, is this phrase "digging a hole to China" used only in North America? Or do dogs all over the globe mysteriously dig to the same place? And what about dogs in China? Do they dig to North America?

Is anyone else with me???

You should know that because I suffer from some degree of obsessive-compulsive disorder, I couldn't stand not knowing the answer, so I googled "digging a hole to China." 

North American readers pay attention: If you think your dog might be digging to China, guess what? You'd be WRONG. Your dog will actually end up under the Indian Ocean somewhere off the west coast of Australia. Talk about a bubble-burster. :(

(Those of you NOT in North America can go here to see where your dog would end up.)

Is that China? What's it supposed to look like?

But I'm still wondering of my non-North American readers: Do you even use the phrase "my dog is digging to China?"

Will you let me know in the comments so I can sleep?

Thank you. :)

That Picture Don't Make a Lick of Sense (Inaugural Edition): Dog in a Tourniquet

First of all: That's the way I talk when I see somethin' that don't make a lick of sense. Except I don't enunciate "lick of," I say, "lick a." Now that title would've been considerably worse. ;)

So, since I've ended the "hump"-rhyming weekly blog feature, I needed to come up with something else (something simple and fun) to go in its slot (except, maybe not on hump day). I got an idea the other day - while browsing through (as I do almost every day for the Facebook page) my hundreds of archived image files: Some of my photos (standing alone and out of context) don't make a lick of sense! (I mean, some of them just make my eyes get all squinty and I wonder, what in the world??)

So then, one thought led to another, and I decided to make a weekly feature out of guessing WHAT IN THE WORLD is really going on these crazy pictures!

Are you ready to start?! Yay! Here we go!

Hey, like my cow button? I think I want to marry this cow button! (I love cows.♥)

Question: Why is Jon Farleigh wearing a tourniquet around his head?

A. He had his wisdom teeth extracted.

B. He is playing the part of the ghost of Jacob Marley in a home-staging of A Christmas Carol.

C. He got into the grape jelly and I ran out of paper towels. 

D. His person was pretending to be a veterinarian. 

Leave your best guess in comments (or on Facebook)! I'll post the correct answer next week!

It Rhymes With 'Hump' Day: Mugwump (possibly the first time used to describe a dog in recorded history)

Mugwump (definition from Urban Dictionary, because it best suits this absurd blog post my purposes. Also, I've taken the liberty of removing all instances of the word "man." You'll see why.):

"A politically un-enslaved dog. A dog with high, definite principals. A dog who does not ask for office, nor accept office. A dog who votes for the best species, regardless of his/her party name."

In the following example, Dewi is a mugwump:

Me to Dewi: "So, would you ever vote for a cat?"

Dewi: "A cat? {pauses to think} I mean, as a registered dog, I've historically gone dog. But, as a matter of principal, say, for example, the dog candidate wants to raise the tax on bacon, but the cat candidate is all about affordable bacon for everyone? Well, it'd certainly make me unpopular among my canine constituents, but heck yeah, I'd vote for the cat!

Would you excuse me for a moment? The cat's become dislodged."

"Mmmm, not bacon...can't quite...."

And, that does it for my example!

So, is anyone else's dog a mugwump? ;))

Notes:

<> The word "mugwump" can be political; this blog, however, is not, and therefore, any secret messages you think you see, are in fact, rooted in your imagination. 

<> I made up the whole example. Dewi isn't really a mugwump. Please refer to yesterday's post, if needed.

<> I used this same photo sequence in a previous blog post about the importance of enunciating training commands. That post is equally ridiculous. 

<> I'll give 25 vanity points to the first person who can correctly name the iconic American author who self-identified as a mugwump in one of his published writings. Hint: It's only one person, but I'll accept two different answers. ☺

Tune in next Wednesday when I rhyme 'hump' with...

It Rhymes With 'Hump' Day: Gazump (it's totally a word, ok?)

Yes, it is. It just so happens that it's not used in the US.
But the UK?
(Keep reading.☺)

Gazump used in a sentence:
 
In Wales - Jon Farleigh's country of heritage - it would not be unheard of for a Grinch to steal take a Who's house, offer to sell it back to her for a negotiated price, and then gazump her, with a selling price exactly 39 and a half times higher than originally agreed upon.

(Of course, after the Grinch heard the Whos down in Whoville singing the "fahoo" song, on Christmas, in the freezing cold, from the shelter of nothing but a a shoe box, his heart would grow three sizes that day, prompting him to not only return the Who's house for free, but to also pay for an entire kitchen remodel, with - among other things - a set of double ovens for more efficient roast beast roasting.)

In other news, can someone please tell me why my dog looks like both the Grinch and Cindy Lou Who? It's uncanny. (Incidentally, that's the same thing I said two years ago, when I posted this exact same photo collage! ♻) ;)

Bonus audio/visual of the unforgettable song from the 1966 TV special How the Grinch Stole Christmas, "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch"!

Double-Bonus Trivia!:

<> Although Boris Karloff voiced the narrator and the Grinch in the TV special, it was Thurl Ravenscroft who sang this famous song. 

<> Ravenscroft's name, however, was inadvertently left out of the cartoon's credits, which, naturally, has left most members of the general public to believe that Karloff sang the song.

<> Dr. Seuss (Theodor Geisel) wrote the song lyrics specifically for the TV special.

<> He was so mortified that Ravenscroft's name was left out of the credits that he personally called him to profusely apologize, and then went on to write letters to journalists all over the country to clear up the misunderstanding. 

It Rhymes With 'Hump' Day: Stump

Note: There is more than one definition of stump. 

This is one of them:

I am stumped as to why Jon Farleigh is looking at me this way. hehe

And here is another:

All that's left of the dying oak tree across the street. Sad. 

And, yet, another:

Synonyms: nub, Roxi's extra fine booty*

Have a fine Wednesday, y'all!

Tune in next time when I rhyme "hump" with...??? ☺

*Cardigan Corgis also have extra fine booties, it's just that the Pembrokes' buns aren't as obstructed by poofy tails.

Trivia extra: For bragging rights, who can name the 75-year-old classic film, in which one of the stars (mis)quotes the Pythagorean theorem? And, who says it?

It Rhymes With 'Hump' Day: Frump

In an act of snuggie-wearing solidarity, we declare today Frump Day! And may your five o'clock be somewhere soon!

Did you know? Snuggie (or sleeved blanket, actually) has its own Wikipedia page? (and now repeat after me: "why the frell couldn't I have invented that?!")

:-)

Stay tuned for next Wednesday, when we rhyme "hump" with...???

Oh, Charl...no Chelved (dangit, whoever you are)...BELVEDERE! Come Here, Boy!, or: Sometimes I Forget My Pets' Names

Oh, who am I kidding?! I forget my kids' names, too. In fact, I not only get my pets' names mixed up, but I sometimes call my kids by my pets' names, and my pets by my kids' names! So there! Call the authorities, if you must...whoever you are! ;)

I suffer from short-term memory loss.
Why am I in this blog post?

But first, anyone else remember the classic, "Oh Belvedere! Come here, boy!" from the old Looney Tunes cartoon? Yeah, well, can you describe Belvedere? And whose dog was he, anyway? Yosemite Sam's*, maybe?

WRONG! He was Colonel Shuffle's dog, and a bulldog, not a hound dog (like I remembered him being). So maybe - considering your own memory issues - think twice about reporting a boob like me, for innocently mixing up a few loved ones' names! Just sayin'. ahem.

Dew'Imean Jon Farleigh

Where in tar(nation) was I going with this?

Oh yes, the psychology study! I wanted to share that (after calling one of my cats six different names before landing on the correct one, the other day) I was concerned that I might be going prematurely senile, so I googled "why people call people by the wrong name" (note: pets, people, same difference). And that led me to this LA Times article, that cited this published study by University of Pennsylvania psychologist Alan Page Fiske (and team), which revealed these golden word-nuggets:

* "People confuse the names of people with whom they have--or had--the same type of relationship. For example: parents mix up their children's names. (Some families reported calling their pets by their children's names, leading Fiske to speculate these are 'good families to live in, if you're a dog.')

* Confusing one person with another happens more often than we realize, says Fiske. 'Some people make many of these errors every day,' Fiske says, citing results of the study."

JonF'NoCrapImean Dewi

Woohoo! I'm not senile! And my dogs are lucky!
(Though my pets and/or children might need therapy later in life - for identity issues.)

BobBerTigLuJonDewOHFORPETESAKE Maddox

Anyone else wanna share a crazy, mixed-up name story?

* If you said Belvedere belonged to Yosemite Sam (and I thought he did, too), there's a good reason: Yosemite and Colonel Shuffle (Belvie's true guardian) were both voiced by Mel Blanc, and they both spoke with a deep southern accent. Mel Blanc, by the way, also voiced Bugs Bunny and Foghorn Leghorn, among others.

Tacky Cardigan With Words on It: Career Choices

...with guest Cardigan models, Wilson and Jimmy!

To see more of Wilson and Jimmy (and to learn the "true" calling of these talented canines), visit their human mom Taryn's blog, A Tail of Two Cardis!

☺☻☺

To have your pet(s) considered as a guest "model," just post a photo to our Facebook page!

~~~~~~~~~~~~

And now, the answers to Monday's "Internet hoax" quiz:

1. True. My survey. Don't accidentally eat a black jelly bean in front of your dog.

2. True. I was the eyewitness. The fact that the kid was wearing a sheep mask is irrelevant.

3. True. I won.

4. True, however, the "spicy" part is relative. For example, if a dog happened to eat some of a cat's M&Ms, he'd probably call them "spicy." Hypothetically speaking, because dogs and cats shouldn't be buying M&Ms. Speaking of spicy M&Ms, look what just debuted at a Target near you...

Appearing this fall at your local Target

What a coincidence, huh?!

By the way - in case you didn't bother to read my pumpkin post (ahem) - it's important not to add too much pumpkin, or else the end product might get overly hard. And based on his expression, I think the poor M&M on that bag might be trying to tell us something (like perhaps, he ate too much pumpkin).

5. True. Weirdest squid you ever saw. But, no, it didn't work.

So, did you all score 100%???

The Dog Down the Street Is EATING POOP Again!!, and 5 Other Outrageous Internet Tales

A morning network news program ran a (slightly) cheeky story today about how easily people - in today's gone-viral, gossip-fueled world - can fall for Internet hoaxes, and how to avoid being the next victim. You'll find many of the provided tips (for spotting email and web hoaxes) here.

So today - for (somewhat) practical reasons - I thought it would be fun to see whether you can spot any malarkey in this list of outrageous Chronicles of Cardigan-inspired headlines (that I just made up):

1. Dogs Show Signs of  Stress When Owners Accidentally Eat Black Jellybeans, Survey Shows

2. Welsh Corgi Mistakes Human Kid for Sheep, Herds It Across Residential Backyard, Eyewitness Reports

3. 'Chronicles of Cardigan' Author Sustains Injuries During Theme Park Brawl

4. Fall Food Find: Use Pureed Pumpkin to Turn Hershey Syrup into Spicy M&Ms 

5. LOOK: Dog Teaches Self to Imitate Squid in Attempt to Escape Nail Trim

So, what do you think; which ones (if any) are fact*?

Hint: The links are there for a reason.

Oh, and as for the title of this post? It's true. For every person on my street, besides those who live in my house. And to that, I say: If that's the worst thing my neighbors can spread about me, then I'm hiding stuff better than I thought! 

* Fact: The opposite of a bold-faced (brazen) lie; not full of malarkey.
Note: Neither half-truths nor euphemisms count as bold-faced lies.

I'll include the answers with Thursday's Tacky Cardigan!

Of course, that doesn't mean you should wait until then to spread this post around, if you feel so inclined!

The Curious ("Colorful"?) English Meanings of Words We Use for Dogs and Cats

Have you ever stood in your bathroom and thought about the different words we use in English for dogs and cats? No? Well, I have, so no worries. 

Don't ask me what sparked it (I can't remember), the point is, if one starts with the basic English words "dog," "cat," "puppy" and "kitten," and continues to list derivations of these words, one could possibly be left with some interesting questions to ponder. 

See if you agree:

Pup

Puppy

Dog

Doggy

Kitten

Kitty

Cat

Catty*?

Things that make me go hmm:

<> Was "catty" ever a term of endearment?
<> Would dogs call other dogs catty?
<> Would cats call other cats dogs?
<> Why is English so dumb sometimes?

P.S. The "catty" photo caption is a modified pop culture reference. 25 (brag) points to the first person who can correctly say from where! (Fine, it's Mean Girls-25 points for all!)

* IMPORTANT UPDATE: It occurs to me that a (sort of, but with am added "naughty/bad-girl," connotation) synonym for the term "catty" is "hussy" (defined HERE, Google, and HERE), which, if one were trying to use covertly--perhaps to sell something, could change to "husky," which is, in fact, a dog breed. Point being, let's give credit to both cats and dogs for the female slang terms that we've all come to appreciate, mostly, in a lighthearted** way. 😉

** Lighthearted, in a sarcastic way, if you prefer, or not. I mean, it depends on the context of how the slang word is used, and who's saying it, and to whom, right? (My gosh, I wrote this post in 2013, before Me Too. I had NO idea how relevant (in a satirical way) this post would be at the time.

Beer Bottle Cap Pet ID Tags, plus TAKE THE QUIZ on Dogs + Beer in Pop Culture!

Note: This blog post contains a short quiz on dogs & beer in pop culture. You should take it (because I made it for you with lots of <3<3<3, dang it!)...right after these important illustrated messages!

So, have you seen pet ID tags made from bottle caps, like this one I got from Etsy (collar sold separately)? They're so cute!

Yep, I needed had to get one for a certain furry red-head with a punny Irish name.

Hint: "Jon Farleigh" is not an Irish name.

Neither is "Dewi." Plus, Dewi's not a red-head.

And, neither is Bertie (a red-head). 

So, I guess that leaves...

Bobby Flay O'Fish!

(The itty bitty, {formerly} feral, ginger kitty I plucked off the highway a few weeks ago.)

He I really needed a tag-collar combo that could live up to his name. :-)

And, I'd love for you to see up-close how the tag (and collar) look on him, but alas, it's hard to get a kitten to hold still for a fashion shoot.

So, I guess I'll have to show you using a stand-in. 

(Not like it would be the first time.)

Like this one.
He (Beefeater) came from the Amazon agency. ;-)

So, do you want to see the back of the tag? OK!

There's a clear, rubbery coating over the text (to prevent it from rubbing off). That adorable font is standard. And, depending on the size of your pet (lg/md dog vs. sm dog/cat), the split ring sizes (which control how low the tag hangs) will vary.

Oh, and if (the myriad available) beer bottle caps are not your thing, there are tons of soda pop bottle caps to choose from, too! 

The tag was $10 (before shipping) and came from the Etsy shop, Carlito's Creations. The cotton (nautical plaid) break-away cat collar, $12, came from Etsy at Chloe's Collars (which also has a huge selection of dog collars).  

Both transactions were easy and I am thrilled with my purchases!

Bobby Flay thinks his tag is a toy, however, so he's not wearing it (for real) just yet.

This crap is boring; what happened to dogs and beer?

Did anyone hear a high-pitched buzz just now?? Hmm, I could've sworn I heard it. Oh, well. 

So, anyway, when I showed my husband Bobby Flay's awesome new tag, and after he stopped mumbling something about my being a little too fond of dressing up the pets in "cutesy" accessories, we played a little game, where we tried to match beer brands to dogs (you know, in case we ever need to buy some more bottle cap ID tags). Like, for example, can you imagine a Blood Hound (or English Bulldog) with a Milwaukee's Best (aka The Beast) tag? Or maybe a Pembroke Welsh Corgi with a Heineken (Heiney) tag? (It was a fun game, y'all; you should try it!)

Well, then, all that dog and beer talk got me thinking about how often, it seems, dogs and beer appear (simultaneously) in American pop culture. And all that thinking about pop culture led me to the ends of the Internet, which filled my head with loads of useless trivia, and prompted me to create a (short) quiz, so all of you - my friends - can get filled up with useless dog and beer pop trivia, too!

And, here it is! With pictures! I hope you have as much fun with it as I did!
P.S. Remember, Google is to the Internet, as Siri is to the iPhone. Don't be afraid to use it!

Dogs & Beer Pop Trivia Quiz

Video Bonus: Bud Light "Dog-Sitter" 2011 Super Bowl Commercial!

It cracks me up EVERY time!

Later, y'all!