That Picture Don't Make a Lick of Sense: A Corgi and 3 Sheep Walk Into a Pen...

Please excuse the quality of the below photo; it was taken three years ago with my crappy camera. 

So, who's ready to guess WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GOING ON IN THIS PICTURE?!

A. Jon Farleigh told a "Your mama" joke to the sheep in the middle, not realizing the 2 flanking sheep were her mama and aunt. oops.
B. The sheep have unanimously decided (because it was disgusting) to cut Jon Fareigh off the "free" all-you-can-eat poo buffet.
C. Jon Farleigh is failing his first herding instinct test.
D. Jon Farleigh is trying to speak sheep code (e.g., baa ram ewe), except, he slept through most of Babe, and instead of speaking sheep (unbeknownst to him), he's speaking Patagonian Toothfish. 
E. Probably all of the above. 

Leave your guess in comments or on Facebook (please!). 

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As for the last installment...

E. I'm trying to get Jon Farleigh to lie down for a treat, because we're contestants in a "best trick" dog contest at the local fall festival.
(Although, thanks to a reader's calling his expression out to me, I'm not entirely sure why that old man is smiling. Aaaaagh! I need a shower!☺)

P.S. Do you know how hard it is to train a corgi to LIE DOWN?! They're ALREADY down low enough to reach the treat, for Pete's sake! Just give it to me already (is what JF was thinking)!

P.P.S. We might not have won a prize for best trick at the fall festival, but that's OK, because Jon Farleigh and Dewi tied for Cutest Dog!

That Picture Don't Make a Lick of Sense: Just What Kind of Show Is This?

Hope you didn't think I'd run out of material for this little blog feature (since it's been a little longer than usual since the last one). Because, no.

So, are you ready?! Cool!

Tell me, WHAT IN THE WORLD is going on in this picture*?

* Some of you might remember this one. In fact, some of you gave me the idea for some of the choices you're about to see. So if you do (remember), congratulations! You've been reading longer than my kid has been able to ride a bike! (Not really, but it's close.) THANK YOU! ☺

A. The old man in orange is getting a cheap thrill. 

B. The poodle is getting a cheap thrill.

C. The older lady is horrified because she knows the old man is getting a cheap thrill. 

D. The older lady's Pomeranian is reciting "Old MacDonald" in his head, while plotting how he's gonna get the treat out of my hand. 

E. I'm trying to get Jon Farleigh to lie down for a treat, because we're contestants in a "best trick" dog contest at the local fall festival. 

F. A., B. and C.

Leave your guess in the comments or on the Facebook page! Thank you!

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As for the previous installment...

E. They're cheap Statue of Liberty hats from Target; they were posing for patriotic holiday shoots; and I had no idea how to put them on correctly. You'd think for $1, they could print some directions on the price stickers!

Ta da!

Totally worth the $1, by the way.

'Til next time! ☺

That Picture Don't Make a Lick of Sense: Fashion Statement or Medieval Dog Weapon?

 OK, you guys (you all, y'all, yous, you 'uns)! Are you ready? OK, go!

WHAT IN THE WORLD is going on in these (yes, two, nearly identical, except for the dog) pictures?!

A. I don't understand the question; they look perfectly normal wearing those Hannibal Lecter-like face masks.
B. We were testing out a top-secret product in development called SCAT, CAT! It was designed to keep cats out of your dog's "personal space." (And, incidentally, it works. Unfortunately, though, the cats laughed so hard, they peed outside the box; therefore, we could only rate it 1.5 stars.)
C. I signed the dogs up for a new sport called "Canine Gladiators," and these are their face masks.
D. They're summer BBQ food catchers. If a hot dog (for example) is dropped on the flat part, the dog will only be able to stare at it and drool. In theory. Really, really STUPID theory.
E. They're cheap Statue of Liberty hats from Target; they were posing for patriotic holiday shoots; and I had no idea how to put them on correctly. You'd think for $1, they could print some directions on the price stickers!

Leave your best guess in comments or on the Facebook page! (Yes, I realize the answer is obvious this week, but I don't care. In fact, I don't care if you make up your own answer, as if none of my choices matter a hill of beans! I just like to read your answers, OK?!)

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As for last week's picture...

E. I was sad that Jon Farleigh and Dewi had stopped stealing the TP out of the bathroom, like they did as puppies, so I tried to rekindle their desire.

Yes, I did that. They had NO desire. They grew up. Waaaaaaah!

BUT, I did happen to get video of them stealing toilet paper from the bathroom, while they were still puppies. And I used it to make a video parody of Mission Impossible. Have you seen it? (You should!)



My precious boys.☺

That Picture Don't Make a Lick of Sense: A Roll of Toilet Paper

Y'all do know that all these photos have been previously published* on the blog, right? And that there really is a best/correct explanation for each of them? Because there is. OK? Don't forget!

So tell me, WHAT IN THE WORLD is going on in this picture?!

A. I was trying to teach Dewi a new trick: WIPE YOUR BUTT.
B. I was trying to teach Dewi a new trick: CLEAN UP YOUR OWN DIRTY MESSES.
C. I was teaching Dewi a new trick: LEAVE IT.
D. We were making a YouTube contest entry for a major toilet paper brand.
E. I was sad that Jon Farleigh and Dewi had stopped stealing the TP out of the bathroom, like they did as puppies, so I tried to rekindle their desire.
F. I was trying to funnel Dewi's poots through the TP roll, so I could collect the methane gas for my child's science experiment on alternative energy sources.

Leave your best guess in comments or on the Facebook page!

* Or, they're similar to a previously published photo and perfectly relevant to its corresponding blog post.

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As for last week's photo...

E. Both B. and C. 
B. Jon Farleigh ran into a running shower to escape 3.5 collective pounds of menacing (alien) foster kittens, who - as you can see here - are not going to be thwarted (as normal cats should be) by mere liquid hydrogen and oxygen.
C. This is a snapshot from when Jon Farleigh told a tall tale to a bunch of "puppies," recounting the time he was attacked by freakish kitten mutants who wanted to eat him off of a silver platter.

The original post title: Terrible Tales With Jon Farleigh: Purrassic Park*

Also, Jon Farleigh's tales might be taller than his legs.☺ Poor dude just could not process the fearlessness of those teeny foster kittens!

* Yes, I actually did manage to parody not just one Spielberg title (Jurassic Park), but TWO (Close Encounters of the Third Kind), using the same post. Perhaps I'll go ahead and add that to my life's list of major accomplishments. I hope that doesn't make you jealous. (insert winky eye)

That Picture Don't Make a Lick of Sense: Interspecies Encounters of the Third Kind

In case you're wondering, here are the first two kinds of interspecies encounters*:

1. Dogs and cats become aware of each other's existence (through the kitchen window or by watching My Cat From Hell on Animal Planet, for example).
2. Dogs and cats become aware that they are currently living with a member of the other species, though they have not laid eyes on one another. For example, they can smell and/or hear weird "alien" animal smells/noises coming from another room.

Here is an example of the THIRD kind of interspecies encounter.

Now tell me, WHAT IN THE WORLD is going on in that picture up there?!

A. The foster kitten challenged Jon Farleigh to a duel during lunch, in the shower, and Jon Farleigh was too ashamed to decline.
B. Jon Farleigh ran into a running shower to escape 3.5 collective pounds of menacing (alien) foster kittens, who - as you can see here - are not going to be thwarted (as normal cats should be) by mere liquid hydrogen and oxygen.
C. This is a snapshot from when Jon Farleigh told a tall tale to a bunch of "puppies," recounting the time he was attacked by freakish kitten mutants who wanted to eat him off of a silver platter.
D. Jon Farleigh followed the foster kittens into the shower, mistaking them for furry candy dispensers.
E. Both B and C.

Leave your guess in comments or on the Facebook page!

* Because in deciding to go with the Close Encounters pun/parody post title, I needed to school myself on the reasons behind Steven Spielberg's choice of movie title. Otherwise, the pun might have been inappropriate (it isn't), and therefore, the bane to Spielberg movie buffs' existence. Please note, you might have just wasted 23 seconds of your life reading this, if you've never seen the movie in the first place.

Also, it's impossible to "unhear" this film score.


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As for last week's installment...

And the previous frame, for reference...

B. "Jonathan Farleigh! I told you three years ago that I'm not interested in your roomie that way! So, call him off, bro. Call that sniffy-feely blue boy OFF!"

Impressive memories of those classic posts guesses, y'all! ☺

P.S. There's a long "history" between Dewi and Georgia (if you're new to the blog, or suffer from long-term memory loss). It all started here, and officially ended here. LOTS of corgis (and silliness) in those two posts!

That Picture Don't Make a Lick of Sense: Sibling Rivalry

Are you ready? Because I'd love for you to tell me WHAT IN THE WORLD is going on in this picture!

OK, wait a second. No, don't tell me what's going on in that picture; it's as plain as an unsalted saltine cracker. Jon Farleigh's sister Georgia (whom we all got to see at last weekend's Cardi party*) is obviously telling him something important. So, I guess the better question for this week's installment should be: WHAT IN THE WORLD is Georgia saying to Jon Farleigh?

Here, maybe if I show you the picture frames right before and after, it'll help get your thoughts moving.

BEFORE

DURING

AND AFTER

So, what do you think she said (hint: there is one best answer, based on a "classic Cardigan" post).

A. You disem-squeaked hedgie, Jonny?!! Cuz Dewi said you disem-squeaked him! Hedgie? Really, Jon? How could you?!
B. Jonathan Farleigh! I told you three years ago that I'm not interested in your roomie that way! So, call him off, bro. Call that sniffy-feely blue boy OFF! 
C. I said NO, Jon Farleigh! (JF: Well, I said yes.) When I say no, I mean NO! (JF: But I said yes.) Well, I will tell your mama and you will GO HOME!
D. It's not FUNNY, Jon Farleigh! Stop saying it! Just. Stop. Saying it. Chex Mix is not cereal and there is no such thing as a McWHOPPER! Sheesh!

Leave your best guess in comments or on the Facebook page!

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And, as for the picture of the boys in front of the fire...

C. They're posing for a holiday card, but the temperature outside was in the upper 60s.

That shot was an outtake. Here's the final product (and my very first ever post to this blog on 12/29/10).

Now, if that wasn't a sign of things to come, I don't know what is. ☺

* I still have more Cardi party pics to share. Slowly but surely, remember?

That Picture Don't Make a Lick of Sense: Smiling Dogs in Front of a Fire

Here we go again; who's ready?! So, tell me: WHAT IN THE WORLD are Jon Farleigh and Dewi doing in front of that roaring fire??

A. OMG, JON FARLEIGH'S HEAD IS IN FLAMES! QUICK, ROLL HIM ACROSS THE RUG!
B. They're thawing out from a particularly long romp in the snow and frigid temps.
C. They're posing for a holiday card, but the temperature outside is in the upper 60s.
D. Those are not your dogs, because your dogs don't sit and pose for photographs that nicely.

Leave your best guess in comments or on the Facebook page!

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And, as for last week's Dewi gnome photo?

A. He was an actor in a song parody of the old Guthrie folk song "Git Along, Lil' {dwarf} Dogies."

(Hint: You should totally click that link and go read that post. ☺)

That Picture Don't Make a Lick of Sense: Dog Gnome

OK, this one is gonna be hard. So tell me, WHAT IN THE WORLD is Dewi doing dressed up like a gnome in this picture?

A. He was an actor in a song parody of the old Guthrie folk song "Git Along, Lil' {dwarf} Dogies."
B. He was lonely and looking for the Juliette to his Gnomeo.
C. I was hoping someone would steal us both out of my kitchen and take us on a fantasy world tour (with photo ops). (Of course, we'd both be returned to the kitchen after the trip.)
D. I was desperately hoping he'd get some magical powers and go on a house cleaning spree, at night, while everyone was sleeping. 

What's your guess? Let me know in comments or on the Facebook page! ☺

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As for last week's photo...

B. They're shredding my freshly laundered underwear.

(Note: NOT a thong. I took that photo after they turned a pair of perfectly nice NOT-A-THONG underwear into a butt-less waistband. So uncool.)

That Picture Don't Make a Lick of Sense: Dogs Tugging on Something

If you paid close attention to my last blog post, you might already know the answer to this one. But if you didn't (and I expect that'd be the majority), here, see if you can guess...

WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GOING ON IN THIS PICTURE?

A. They're flossing their teeth with a new (no longer available) type of biodegradable, licorice flavored doggy dental floss. 
B. They're shredding my freshly laundered underwear.
C. I told them to "clean up," and they're having a stare-off over who ultimately gets to drop the debris into the toy box (trash can).
D. They're practicing for a competitive doggy tug-of-war contest, the winner of which will get a lifetime supply of bully sticks. 

So, what is it? Let me know in comments or on the Facebook page!

*****

As for last week's photo...

It's Jon Deer. Duh. OK, NO, no it isn't. Well, it kind of is, but that's not the best answer. The best answer is...

B. Jon Farleigh is in the truck bed wearing camo antlers for a Christmas card photo shoot. (The UPS man - who drove his truck past us on the side of the gravel road - got a nice chuckle out of it, too.☺)

That Picture Don't Make a Lick of Sense: Creature in the Car Window

It's time for another episode of...

WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GOING ON IN THIS PICTURE?

A. "Step on it, Bucky, it's a starving CORGILOPE!"
B.  Jon Farleigh is in the truck bed wearing camo antlers for a Christmas card photo shoot. 
C. Somebody stole my dog, made him do humiliating things and posted it on the internet. (Do you think I should press charges?)
D. It's Jon Deer. Duh.

Leave you best guess in comments or on the Facebook page!

And, as for last week's photo...

(Nice guesses, by the way.)

C. He was stranded there on the 2nd step, afraid of slipping off in either direction, and was resting.

Important note: This was the first time Dewi ever attempted to go up those steps (years ago). He made it up ONE step before he quit and then just parked there for 10 min, until I realized he wasn't underfoot and found him there. He and Jon Farleigh can climb stairs now (can't get back down them, but that's another blog post); however, they are NOT allowed to go upstairs in our house, and therefore, do not use these stairs. Not ever. So, NO fretting.

This was pretty doggone funny, though. Stuck on the bottom step. :)

That Picture Don't Make a Lick of Sense: Dog on the Stairs

OK, friends, ready for this week's nutty picture??

Tell me, WHY IN THE WORLD is Dewi's face mashed into that riser on the stairs?!

A. I smeared bacon grease on it.
B. He was told to go put his face in the riser (equivalent of the corner, because I said so).
C. He was stranded there on the 2nd step, afraid of slipping off in either direction, and was resting.
D. I told him he couldn't have any more of my clementine and he's pouting.

Let me know in comments or on the Facebook page!

And the answer to last week's pickle picture...

C. I was conducting an experiment to see whether he could distinguish healthy, fresh fruits and veggies from random, nasty crap in my pantry! (Hint: He can't. It's all good stuff to him.)

That Picture Don't Make a Lick of Sense: Dog With Pickled Jalapeno Slices

Ready to tackle another photo?! OK, how 'bout this one!

Question: Why is Dewi mouthing a pickle jar?

A. He's helping me unscrew the lid.
B. He's cuckoo for the taste of Mt. Olive pickled jalapeno slices (even though these are sealed in glass).
C. I was conducting an experiment to see whether he could distinguish healthy, fresh fruits and veggies from random, nasty crap in my pantry.
D. We were working on a magic trick for America's Got Talent.

What's your best guess?! Tell me in comments or on Facebook!

And, here's the answer to last week's Dog in a Tourniquet photo:

D. I was pretending to be a veterinarian (for a blog post, not in real life)!

That Picture Don't Make a Lick of Sense (Inaugural Edition): Dog in a Tourniquet

First of all: That's the way I talk when I see somethin' that don't make a lick of sense. Except I don't enunciate "lick of," I say, "lick a." Now that title would've been considerably worse. ;)

So, since I've ended the "hump"-rhyming weekly blog feature, I needed to come up with something else (something simple and fun) to go in its slot (except, maybe not on hump day). I got an idea the other day - while browsing through (as I do almost every day for the Facebook page) my hundreds of archived image files: Some of my photos (standing alone and out of context) don't make a lick of sense! (I mean, some of them just make my eyes get all squinty and I wonder, what in the world??)

So then, one thought led to another, and I decided to make a weekly feature out of guessing WHAT IN THE WORLD is really going on these crazy pictures!

Are you ready to start?! Yay! Here we go!

Hey, like my cow button? I think I want to marry this cow button! (I love cows.♥)

Question: Why is Jon Farleigh wearing a tourniquet around his head?

A. He had his wisdom teeth extracted.

B. He is playing the part of the ghost of Jacob Marley in a home-staging of A Christmas Carol.

C. He got into the grape jelly and I ran out of paper towels. 

D. His person was pretending to be a veterinarian. 

Leave your best guess in comments (or on Facebook)! I'll post the correct answer next week!

Can You Pick the (Formerly) Feral, Domestic Shorthair Cat Out of This Lineup?

And while we're on the subject of picking, did you see the oxymoron in that title? There's only one, by the way. (Yes, in spite of the rumors - cough - pet cats truly are domestic animals. :)

Feral cat:
<> (Wikipedia): A feral cat is a domestic cat that has returned to the wild. It is distinguished from a stray cat, which is a pet cat that has been lost or abandoned, while feral cats are born in the wild.
<> (Alley Cat Allies): A feral cat is a cat who has either never had any contact with people or her contact with people has diminished over time. She is not socialized to people and survives on her own outdoors. Most feral cats are not likely to ever become lap cats or enjoy living indoors.

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Okay, before I show you the kitty lineup, would you indulge me in a little storytelling? Yay!

On the Way Home From the Store, I Found a Cat

Once upon a time, on a Saturday afternoon last spring...I dragged myself out of my favorite "designer" discount store (because I'd already "window shopped" down every aisle for a solid two hours, and my husband's hard-earned money was searing a hole through my past-season wristlet). Eleven minutes later, while driving home on a familiar, busy suburban highway, I spotted a slight something (a leaf, perhaps) moving around in my lane, up ahead, near a stoplight. With cars whizzing by, both in front of and around me, it took several more feet of driving before I realized - in horror - that the "slight" thing moving in the road wasn't a leaf at all, but a tiny tabby kitten, stranded, terrified, and desperately trying to make it to safety (its mother? siblings?) across six lanes of traffic. 

Miraculously (and I mean that in the literal sense), the cars ahead of me breezed through the intersection (and past the helpless kitten), leaving me - saved by a red stoplight - to use my car as a barricade between the kitten and its impending doom. But the moment I opened my car door to get out (and grab it), the kitten - in a panic - bolted into a strip of grass on the nearer side of the road.

As I made my way into the parking lot, out of my car and over to that strip of grass - where the terrified kitten still hovered, frozen solid - I hoped there'd be a second miracle...that I'd get to him in time, before he got spooked again and ran into the path of a moving vehicle. 

Little did I know there'd be a third miracle that afternoon, as I pressed the anti-bacterial wet wipe into the fresh bite wound on my thumb*, wondering what the heck I was going to do with the feral kitten I had just trapped (with my bare hands, in a Starbucks parking lot) and tossed into the secure backseat of my car. 

The End**

Whew. What say I lighten up the mood a little and post that kitty lineup I told you about? ;-)

Okay, here you go! Can you tell which one(s) of these images belongs to the multi-miracle, feral kitty I snatched off the side of a busy road?

A. 

B.

C.

D.

Answer: B. & D.
(Note: A., Tigger, is quite sweet, actually; she was just slightly annoyed at her nemesis, Jon Farleigh, in the photo.)

Did you pick correctly? Of course you did, right?! It's Bobby Flay O'Fish, who, over several weeks after getting him home, we tamed, so that he would be adoptable.*** (I was lucky to have captured him weaned, but still only a few weeks old.) We could not have done it without the support, guidance and online resources of our local, feral cat caregiver community, the Richmond SPCA and Alley Cat Allies, the only national advocacy program dedicated to the protection and humane treatment of cats. 

This Wednesday, October 16, is National Feral Cat Day. 

In honor of my beautiful, healthy, good-natured and hilarious, former feral kitty, Bobby Flay O'Fish, I hope you remember this:

Feral domestic cat is an oxymoron. The only difference between a feral cat in the Starbucks parking lot, and someone's cherished pet kitty, is the someone. Sure, most feral cats can never be adopted as household pets, but that doesn't mean that, under better birth circumstances, in another place and time, these perfectly domestic animals couldn't have been some other person's Bobby Flay O'Fish, too.

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* Yes, the kitten bit the crap out of my thumb (that was the first clue that he was feral), but after much pressure and flushing with anti-bacterial solution (that I thankfully had in my car), it healed up without incident. If you ever find yourself bitten by an unfamiliar cat, my advice to you is to seek medical attention (I was very lucky not to have gotten an infection).

** Of course the story doesn't really end there (in fact, it's still unfolding in my house every day). If you have specific questions about how we cared for and tamed Bobby Flay, please ask away in comments or send me an email!

*** My intention (after talking with some local feral caregivers) was to tame the kitten and then surrender him to the Richmond SPCA for adoption into a permanent home. Bobby Flay, however, had other intentions. ;-) (I'll be happy to elaborate on those intentions, if you find yourself in a similar situation.)

Meow, y'all!

>^.^<