Thursday, October 31, 2013

Tacky Cardigan With Words on It: Halloween Imitating Life

Correction: Tacky CardiganS With Words on THEM

(For Jodi.☺)



And...


Have a fantastic evening!


If you'd like me to consider your pet(s) photo for a Tacky Cardigan, just post it to the Facebook page!

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

It Rhymes With 'Hump' Day (World Series Edition): Ump

Honestly (I don't care what the rest of the Internet is doing), to have used a Halloween theme today would have been so tomorrow*. ;)

Happy Ump Day!


And, no fighting!

*So, about the theme for tomorrow's Tacky Cardigan With Words on It...

...stay tuned!


P.S. I don't have any photos of Jon Farleigh screaming. He's non-confrontational.

Monday, October 28, 2013

Classic Cardigan: Foster Kittens Terrify Jon Farleigh; Force Him Into Running Shower

At the risk of revealing a photo source, and contradicting a recent theory on dogs and baths (because I'm preoccupied with Halloween-related tacky cardigan stuff today), I'm "treating" you to a classic (aka previously published) post.

The following is a true story.

Originally published on May 31, 2012...

Terrible Tales with Jon Farleigh: Purrassic Park

(As told around a campfire to a bunch of eager "Pup" Scouts with short attention spans.)

Listen up; this is scary stuff.

My best friend Dewi and I could hardly contain our excitement, imagining the thrills we were gonna have chasing the three "clone" kitties that our Mom person had brought home for us the day before. 

We hadn't seen them go into the room-where-it-rains that first day, but we could hear their faint mewing and smell their "not-quite-cat" (because they were created special, just for our amusement) scent from underneath the door. We just knew something wonderful awaited us because of all the time Mom and all our other peeps were spending in there getting things ready. 

On the afternoon that she invited us to follow her through our sleeping room to the door separating us from our adventure, we were so excited that we forgot our manners and shoved past Mom's legs, through the cracked doorway and into A TERRIBLE NIGHTMARE!

They're gonna rush me in 30 seconds.

At first the creatures seemed harmless enough (they were tiny), but then, before I could even decide which one's butt to sniff first, they rushed me!

All three of the tiny carnivorous monsters came at me with such conviction that I began to fear for my safety (no cat in its right mind rushes a strange dog; they had to be mutants out to make a meal out of me)! So I let out a half-chortle, half-cry and scampered away from the beasts as fast as I could!

(It was sadly too late for my friend Dewi, as the menacing fur balls had already transformed him into a minion through mutant feline mind control.)


Dewi: Whatever you ask, I do.

But wherever I went, they came after me (that is, when they weren't lapping up what must have been minced dog meat from a silver platter)! 

nomnomnomnomnom

Alas, there was no where left for me to turn...except the place where it sometimes rains on my people. 

Oh, please no.

I'm doomed.

So, I went in because it wasn't raining, then, BUT THEY FOLLOWED ME! And just when I thought my life was over...

MOM SHOWED UP!

And, wouldn't you know, all those horrible fake cats wheeled around and went straight after her? That's when I slipped out and hid in the room with the big white bowl...and waited.



Then, next thing I knew it was raining, and the noise caused those little terrorists to run back over in my direction. But just inches before I was a goner, I ran straight into the torrential rain and did not budge. I was soaking wet, but safe (because like real cats, the mutants didn't like getting water on their fur). Whew!

If I get in there, my fur will melt.

In the end, Mom made the rain stop and wrapped me up in a towel. 

I was relieved when she said my adventure was over. Dewi was too (once he snapped out of his trance).

I think I'd like to take a break from adventures and eat more snacks.

The End

Sweet dreams, everyone! ;)

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Tacky Cardigan With Words on It: Mixed Messages

Incidentally (or perhaps, ironically), it came to me in the shower...



And to think that all this time, I'd been wondering why he hates them so much. ;) 


If you'd like me to consider your pet(s) photo for a Tacky Cardigan, just post it to the Facebook page!

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

It Rhymes With 'Hump' Day: Frump

In an act of snuggie-wearing solidarity, we declare today Frump Day! And may your five o'clock be somewhere soon!


Did you know? Snuggie (or sleeved blanket, actually) has its own Wikipedia page? (and now repeat after me: "why the frell couldn't I have invented that?!")

:-)

Stay tuned for next Wednesday, when we rhyme "hump" with...???

Monday, October 21, 2013

A Tale of Two Woofs

And by tale, I mean true story-a howling good yarn.


For reasons I can't recall (as the men in my family generally view pleasure shopping as highly as a 24-hr intestinal illness), a while back on a Saturday, my entire human family, plus both corgis, enjoyed an outing at our local dog-friendly mall. About 17 minutes into the fun - due to frayed nerves widely different tastes - it was decided that (for maximum enjoyment) the humans would split up by gender, and the dogs would stay with me.

Don't get me wrong; I enjoy leading the dogs around this particular upscale, open-air mall about as much as I like receiving gift cards (in theory) so I can afford to actually shop in a few of its stores (read: Anthropologie and Tiffany & Co.); it's just that when I've got two ecstatic dogs to handle, PLUS two birthday-money-laden-teenagers-on-a-mission, things can get a little, well...harried.



After an hour or so of shopping, as we backtracked our way toward the place where the boys were waiting-- me, struggling to keep the dogs' leashes untangled, while balancing a heavy purse (that had slid off my shoulder) and a couple shopping bags on a throbbing wrist; and my two teenagers, bickering about not having enough time to look at all the things --I noticed in my peripheral vision, a small child hurriedly approaching me and the dogs, shouting something I couldn't quite make out.

"What's that?" I asked him with divided attention, trying not to sound irritated (that neither he nor his guardian - wherever s/he was - could tell that I was in no mood for chit-chat).

"mumble mumble woof?!" he blurted, with his finger pointed at Dewi, only he didn't say "mumble"; I just couldn't understand him.

"I'm sorry; what was that about woofs? Does he woof? Do you want to know whether he woofs?" I tried again (maybe he'd nod his head in agreement, if I guessed correctly).

"Nuh uh, mumble mumble mumble a WOOF?!!" he protested, his frustration with my lack of comprehension visibly mounting.

By this time, the dogs were whining and pulling, trying desperately to get to the little boy for pets, my kids were doing heaven knows what - NOT offering to help me with my load, and I was about ready to drop kick everything but the dogs and take off running to the car! But instead, I looked the little boy square in the eyes and exclaimed, "YES, he's a woof!!"

Then I heard, "MOMMAYYYY! HE'S A WOOF! HE'S A WOOOOOOF! MOMMAYYYY!" And the boy ran away to his mother (who'd been having a separate conversation, a few feet away), hugged his face to her knees, and refused to walk back in my direction. 

Beware of the Woof

Meanwhile, I situated my stuff, gathered my human family and smiled, as Jon Farleigh and my new "wolf" happily trotted, alongside, into the parking lot. 

~~~~~

I tell you, it really happened. :-)

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Tacky Cardigan With Words on It: Home Security Choices

Note: The pets in the meme you are about to see are not actors, nor have they been staged. This is my life. Viewer discretion advised.













Bonus dog photo: 

What a thief would see upon approaching my front porch. 

We are doomed. ;-)


If you'd like me to consider your pet(s) photo for a Tacky Cardigan, post the image to the Facebook page!

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

It Rhymes With 'Hump' Day (1st Edition): Hump, Rump, Lump and Bump

So, I started a little tradition (bad word choice) on the Facebook page a few weeks ago, of posting a photo of the dogs (my dogs) illustrating a word that rhymes with "hump." (Note: The word actually was hump the first time I did it.)

Anyway, because I just feel like it, really - until I run out of words that rhyme with 'hump," or the dogs go on strike - each Wednesday, I will cross-post those photos here on the blog.

I hope they make you smile a little. :-)

Here are the last four weeks' worth, to catch you up!

Happy Hump Day!
(Who needs a camel when you've got corgis?)
By the way, please refer HERE for the sizzling backstory on that photo.


Have a nice Rump Day! ☺

Did someone say it's Lump Day?! zzzzz


And finally, 

Get up and boogie; it's BUMP DAY!
♪♪ We want the funk ♫ gotta get that funk ♫♪


Coming next Wednesday...???


P.S. Great balls of tumbling dog hair! This is my 500th published post!
How did it come to this? ;-)

Monday, October 14, 2013

Can You Pick the (Formerly) Feral, Domestic Shorthair Cat Out of This Lineup?

And while we're on the subject of picking, did you see the oxymoron in that title? There's only one, by the way. (Yes, in spite of the rumors - cough - pet cats truly are domestic animals. :)

Feral cat:
<> (Wikipedia): A feral cat is a domestic cat that has returned to the wild. It is distinguished from a stray cat, which is a pet cat that has been lost or abandoned, while feral cats are born in the wild.
<> (Alley Cat Allies): A feral cat is a cat who has either never had any contact with people or her contact with people has diminished over time. She is not socialized to people and survives on her own outdoors. Most feral cats are not likely to ever become lap cats or enjoy living indoors.

~~~~~~~~

Okay, before I show you the kitty lineup, would you indulge me in a little storytelling? Yay!

On the Way Home From the Store, I Found a Cat


Once upon a time, on a Saturday afternoon last spring...I dragged myself out of my favorite "designer" discount store (because I'd already "window shopped" down every aisle for a solid two hours, and my husband's hard-earned money was searing a hole through my past-season wristlet). Eleven minutes later, while driving home on a familiar, busy suburban highway, I spotted a slight something (a leaf, perhaps) moving around in my lane, up ahead, near a stoplight. With cars whizzing by, both in front of and around me, it took several more feet of driving before I realized - in horror - that the "slight" thing moving in the road wasn't a leaf at all, but a tiny tabby kitten, stranded, terrified, and desperately trying to make it to safety (its mother? siblings?) across six lanes of traffic. 

Miraculously (and I mean that in the literal sense), the cars ahead of me breezed through the intersection (and past the helpless kitten), leaving me - saved by a red stoplight - to use my car as a barricade between the kitten and its impending doom. But the moment I opened my car door to get out (and grab it), the kitten - in a panic - bolted into a strip of grass on the nearer side of the road.



As I made my way into the parking lot, out of my car and over to that strip of grass - where the terrified kitten still hovered, frozen solid - I hoped there'd be a second miracle...that I'd get to him in time, before he got spooked again and ran into the path of a moving vehicle. 

Little did I know there'd be a third miracle that afternoon, as I pressed the anti-bacterial wet wipe into the fresh bite wound on my thumb*, wondering what the heck I was going to do with the feral kitten I had just trapped (with my bare hands, in a Starbucks parking lot) and tossed into the secure backseat of my car. 

The End**

Whew. What say I lighten up the mood a little and post that kitty lineup I told you about? ;-)

Okay, here you go! Can you tell which one(s) of these images belongs to the multi-miracle, feral kitty I snatched off the side of a busy road?

A. 


B.


C.


D.


Answer: B. & D.
(Note: A., Tigger, is quite sweet, actually; she was just slightly annoyed at her nemesis, Jon Farleigh, in the photo.)

Did you pick correctly? Of course you did, right?! It's Bobby Flay O'Fish, who, over several weeks after getting him home, we tamed, so that he would be adoptable.*** (I was lucky to have captured him weaned, but still only a few weeks old.) We could not have done it without the support, guidance and online resources of our local, feral cat caregiver community, the Richmond SPCA and Alley Cat Allies, the only national advocacy program dedicated to the protection and humane treatment of cats. 

This Wednesday, October 16, is National Feral Cat Day. 

In honor of my beautiful, healthy, good-natured and hilarious, former feral kitty, Bobby Flay O'Fish, I hope you remember this:

Feral domestic cat is an oxymoron. The only difference between a feral cat in the Starbucks parking lot, and someone's cherished pet kitty, is the someone. Sure, most feral cats can never be adopted as household pets, but that doesn't mean that, under better birth circumstances, in another place and time, these perfectly domestic animals couldn't have been some other person's Bobby Flay O'Fish, too.

~~~~~~~~~~

* Yes, the kitten bit the crap out of my thumb (that was the first clue that he was feral), but after much pressure and flushing with anti-bacterial solution (that I thankfully had in my car), it healed up without incident. If you ever find yourself bitten by an unfamiliar cat, my advice to you is to seek medical attention (I was very lucky not to have gotten an infection).

** Of course the story doesn't really end there (in fact, it's still unfolding in my house every day). If you have specific questions about how we cared for and tamed Bobby Flay, please ask away in comments or send me an email!

*** My intention (after talking with some local feral caregivers) was to tame the kitten and then surrender him to the Richmond SPCA for adoption into a permanent home. Bobby Flay, however, had other intentions. ;-) (I'll be happy to elaborate on those intentions, if you find yourself in a similar situation.)


Meow, y'all!
>^.^<

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Tacky Cardigan With Words on It: Salon Conversation

Love those salon convos, don't you??


Oh, dear. 

Who wants a brownie? ☺


To have your pet(s) photo considered for a Tacky Cardigan, post it to the Facebook page!

Monday, October 7, 2013

Oh, Charl...no Chelved (dangit, whoever you are)...BELVEDERE! Come Here, Boy!, or: Sometimes I Forget My Pets' Names

Oh, who am I kidding?! I forget my kids' names, too. In fact, I not only get my pets' names mixed up, but I sometimes call my kids by my pets' names, and my pets by my kids' names! So there! Call the authorities, if you must...whoever you are! ;)

I suffer from short-term memory loss.
Why am I in this blog post?

But first, anyone else remember the classic, "Oh Belvedere! Come here, boy!" from the old Looney Tunes cartoon? Yeah, well, can you describe Belvedere? And whose dog was he, anyway? Yosemite Sam's*, maybe?

WRONG! He was Colonel Shuffle's dog, and a bulldog, not a hound dog (like I remembered him being). So maybe - considering your own memory issues - think twice about reporting a boob like me, for innocently mixing up a few loved ones' names! Just sayin'. ahem.

Dew'Imean Jon Farleigh

Where in tar(nation) was I going with this?

Oh yes, the psychology study! I wanted to share that (after calling one of my cats six different names before landing on the correct one, the other day) I was concerned that I might be going prematurely senile, so I googled "why people call people by the wrong name" (note: pets, people, same difference). And that led me to this LA Times article, that cited this published study by University of Pennsylvania psychologist Alan Page Fiske (and team), which revealed these golden word-nuggets:

* "People confuse the names of people with whom they have--or had--the same type of relationship. For example: parents mix up their children's names. (Some families reported calling their pets by their children's names, leading Fiske to speculate these are 'good families to live in, if you're a dog.')

*
Confusing one person with another happens more often than we realize, says Fiske. 'Some people make many of these errors every day,' Fiske says, citing results of the study."

JonF'NoCrapImean Dewi

Woohoo! I'm not senile! And my dogs are lucky!
(Though my pets and/or children might need therapy later in life - for identity issues.)


BobBerTigLuJonDewOHFORPETESAKE Maddox

Anyone else wanna share a crazy, mixed-up name story?

* If you said Belvedere belonged to Yosemite Sam (and I thought he did, too), there's a good reason: Yosemite and Colonel Shuffle (Belvie's true guardian) were both voiced by Mel Blanc, and they both spoke with a deep southern accent. Mel Blanc, by the way, also voiced Bugs Bunny and Foghorn Leghorn, among others.

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Tacky Cardigan With Words on It: Career Choices

...with guest Cardigan models, Wilson and Jimmy!



To see more of Wilson and Jimmy (and to learn the "true" calling of these talented canines), visit their human mom Taryn's blog, A Tail of Two Cardis!

☺☻☺


To have your pet(s) considered as a guest "model," just post a photo to our Facebook page!

~~~~~~~~~~~~

And now, the answers to Monday's "Internet hoax" quiz:

1. True. My survey. Don't accidentally eat a black jelly bean in front of your dog.

2. True. I was the eyewitness. The fact that the kid was wearing a sheep mask is irrelevant.

3. True. I won.

4. True, however, the "spicy" part is relative. For example, if a dog happened to eat some of a cat's M&Ms, he'd probably call them "spicy." Hypothetically speaking, because dogs and cats shouldn't be buying M&Ms. Speaking of spicy M&Ms, look what just debuted at a Target near you...

Appearing this fall at your local Target
What a coincidence, huh?!

By the way - in case you didn't bother to read my pumpkin post (ahem) - it's important not to add too much pumpkin, or else the end product might get overly hard. And based on his expression, I think the poor M&M on that bag might be trying to tell us something (like perhaps, he ate too much pumpkin).

5. True. Weirdest squid you ever saw. But, no, it didn't work.

So, did you all score 100%???

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