Tacky Cardigan With Words on It: The Wisdom of Obscene Gestures

Or, perhaps that title should read, "The Absence of Wisdom in Obscene Gestures." 

Well, do you have a better explanation?! ;)

If you'd like me to consider a photo of your pet(s) for a Tacky Cardigan, just post it to the Facebook page!

Oh, hey, WAIT! Now seems like a perfect opportunity for me to tell you that nominations just opened yesterday for this!

I miraculously got picked as a finalist in Humor two years ago; here is my badge:

[insert mental image of a badge]

Isn't it cool!? OK, fine, my badge is in the "shop" getting a logo makeover (or it's gone forever, and I've been reduced to telling tall tales about it. Either way, I sound like a blathering boob, so never mind). 

But really, if you have a blog that you'd like to recognize for "standing out" (in a good way, and that includes your own blog, if you have one), why not take five minutes to nominate it?!

Here are the categories for the 2014 BlogPaws Nose-to-Nose Pet Blogging and Social Media Awards:

<> Best Blog Design
<> Best Pet Blog Video
<> Best Pet Blog Photo
<> Best Blog Post 
<> Best Humor...
...GASP ack ack ack gag ack gasp AHEM ugh, excuse me, I opened up my mouth and a big bullfrog jumped in! Oh my gosh, UGH. So sorry. Where was I? Oh yeah...
<> Best Humor Blog
<> Best Dog Blog
<> Best Cat Blog
<> Best “Other” Blog (bird, hamster, fish, etc.)
<> Best New Pet Blog
<> Best Cause Blog
<> Best Pet Microblogger
<> Best Use of Social Media by a 501(c)3

Click HERE (or the Nose-to-Nose image above) to nominate someone by February 12!  

And if you wanna know what happens during the awards ceremony, here's a video of stills from last year!

☺

It Rhymes With 'Hump' Day: Encore Dump (I Keel You! Edition)

And by that, I DON'T mean, "I make you keel over with my encore dump." OMG, that would be SO rude! No, I mean, "It SNOWED AGAIN, and look at these pictures of Jon Farleigh and Dewi acting like they're gonna 'keel' each other"! ;)

Full disclosure: My child took these pictures today (after I bribed persuaded her); therefore, I do not deserve photo credit. I did, however, edit all of them in PicMonkey.com, using (among other things) the Tranquil filter (to dial down all that "angry" white snow). Also, no surprises in here. I pinky promise!

All good snow romps begin with a butt munch.

And those make Dewi want to keel Jon Farleigh.

However, Jon Farleigh's reflexes are too quick.

Next, having regained his footing, Jon goes on the offensive with a low shoulder stance.

Which progresses into full-blown desire to keel Dewi.

Except that he gets distracted by a pile of deer poop.

~The End~

Tune in next Wednesday when I rhyme "hump" with...?

Classic Cardigan: When Dewi Made Like Charlie Brown and Crushed on the Little Redheaded Girl (Tabloid Edition)

I'm not too tired to post something original today. It's just that the original I wrote today has to wait until another day (soon). But that's okay, because this humdinger gem of a story is due to come out of hibernation. Especially since the "season of love" is just around the corner. ;-)

Originally published on June 10, 2011, please enjoy the classic (with cheesy, 80s musical interlude)...

When Dewi Met Georgia (A Red Hot Cardigan Love Story)

Quote for the day: If your camera hands you trash for pictures, call "Dwayne."

The following blog post is rated NC-17 (No Corgis over 17 admitted), due to highly ridiculous content. Reader discretion advised.

As reported by "Dwayne"

(Identity changed to protect the doofus.)

For back story, look here or here.

Cast

Sam.......................................The Patriarch (and Birthday Boy)

Georgia........................Hot Sister/Precocious Daughter of Sam
Bogey............................Georgia's Overprotective Half-Brother

Jon Farleigh (JF)..................Georgia's Nonchalant Full Brother

Dewi........................Jon Farleigh's Flirtatious, Hot Roommate 

Ginny..................................Endearing Eldest Daughter of Sam
Nick...........................................Adorable Sam Great-Grandson
Rufus............................................Nick's Sweet Old Housemate
At the party, but not on camera...
Moira..................................Super Athletic Sam Granddaughter
Bee..................................Georgia's and JF's Bashful Full Sister


It began as a sea of red (and one blue) at the watering hole...

Jon Farleigh to Rufus (with tail): "You seen any beer around here?"

JF to Georgia (under chair): "Hey, wanna meet my roommate, Dewi?"
Georgia: "Is he cute? Does he have a job?"

Georgia to Dewi: "Hey, I'm Georgia, but you can call me Princess. Wanna come under here with me in the shade?"
Dewi: "Do you like bacon?"

Dewi to Georgia: "Your coat reminds me of sweet potato jerky and a stuffed Kong. Will you be my girl?"
Georgia: "That's the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me. Wanna play tag?"

Georgia to Dewi: "You got me; now I'm 'it!'
Hey! Whatcha doing up there?!"

*We interrupt this blog post for "Cheesy Eighties Love Songs" as selected by "Dwayne."*

(Hint: Right click link and open in a new window to play in background.)

Dewi's Song: Don't Disturb this Groove (1987) - The System

Georgia's Song: I Get Weak (1987) - Belinda Carlisle

*And now for the exciting conclusion of this blog post.*

Bogey to JF: "Dude, Dad's ticked. You better do something about that blue boy or there's gonna be trouble.
JF: "I think we're gonna have to lock her in the wire tower, man."

Nick: Check out the moves on Dewi...

Sam to Ginny: "I smell trouble in a merle coat. Have you seen Georgia?"
Ginny: "Bogey's on top of it, Dad."

Georgia to Bogey: "Is that coconut cake up there?"
Bogey: "Yeah, and bread, too."

 Georgia to Dewi: "Would you be a dear and fetch me a snack?"

Georgia to Dewi (again): "Hey?! Are you listening? I'd really like a snack, please!"
Dewi to himself: Man, those are some loud mosquitoes. Mmmm, caaaake.

JF to Dewi: "Good day, eh?"
Dewi: "Yeah. You gonna eat all that?"

~The End~

The dogs in this post are real; however, the story is fictional. Any resemblance to your Cardigan Welsh Corgi or real-life events is purely coincidental.

*****
In memory of Sam, a very good red dog, and Rufus.

Tacky Cardigan With Words on It: Unfortunate Pet Names on the Robertson Farm

Can you just imagine?!

Oh, man, that was bad. I'll just go ahead and bang the gong for you, okay?  hehe

PLEASE READ! Many thanks to Felicia ("affectionately" known among her people as "The Good Flea" of Jones Natural Chews blog, and whose last name is not Robertson) for allowing me to tackify her sweet pet duck, Jimmy Dickens (who'd like you to know that it was only a "love" bite)! 

Just for fun (from mental_floss.com): 10 Famous (or Notorious) Ducks

Want me to consider your pet(s)' photo for a Tacky Cardigan, just post it to the Facebook page!

I know I've asked you this a couple times already, and I hate to be a nag, but this is the last blog post until THIS!

I'm supposed to be there to host, for the first time, THIS coming Sunday. If you promise not to forget, I won't either! ;)

It Rhymes With 'Hump' Day: Dump

Oh, hi there, you! Yeah, you. No, not the person over your shoulder, you. Hey, mind if I ask you a couple questions before you check out the rest of this post? Great! Okay, 1) Do you know this is a mostly dog blog? 2) Do you know me (read: I'm not exactly known on this blog for my couth and inhibition - just saying).

Okay, okay, so assuming you do know this is a dog blog and you know me, is it fair to say that when you saw the word "dump" up there in the title, you probably spent a second or two deciding whether or not it would be a good idea to come over here and look? ;) I mean, since you probably assumed I would be putting up pictures of Jon Farleigh and Dewi in the post, you had to have gotten a mental image of something, right? Okay, fine! You don't have to answer my rhetorical questions, but you and I both know that when I said "dump," you immediately thought of...

SNOW!

YEP, WE GOT A SNOW DUMP LAST NIGHT! YAY!

And by dump, I mean we got two whole inches! Whee!

I took over 100 pictures today!

With my Nikon point-and-shoot super zoom!

It was FREEZING!

Can you find Jon Farleigh up there??

There he is!

Isn't Dewi handsome??

Wow, Jon Farleigh looks so serious...

Wha??? 

bwahaha MADE YOU LOOK!!!   

Tune in next Wednesday when I rhyme 'hump' with...

P.S. I'm saving the majority of the snowy day pics I took today for a much more civilized post in February. I hope you will have forgiven me by then! :)

P.P.S. PLEASE don't let me forget that I'm hosting this on Sunday at 7:30 p.m. EST! I'd DIE!

Dogs Are Fun - A Less-Than-Impromptu Sequel to the Ditty, Cats Are Cool

In case you missed it in theaters, "Cats Are Cool" came out last February (here, on this blog). At the end of that post, I promised a sequel called "Dogs Are Great." It wasn't until I changed the word "great" to "fun," however, that I could actually make this little ditty come together. Hence, the 11-month delay. 

I hope you like it. Just make up your own tune to the meter. 

Dogs Are Fun

Dogs are fun. Dogs are fun. 

They're covered up with fur, but they still play in the sun.

Dogs are fun. Dogs are fun. 

No matter what their size, they'll join you on a run.

(If you run. Which I don't, because I hate it. But that's okay, because they'll walk, too.)

Dogs are fun. Nah nah na na...

They wanna be beside you, even during #1 (and #2...ew).

You'll never let it go, will you?

La la la, ho ho humm...

If you're watching your carbs, they'll gladly eat your bun (or cake, etc.). (Hypothetically speaking, of course. Because, duh, just say no to the bun, or substitute lettuce. That's what the magazine article said, anyway.)

OK, this is done! ;-)

*****

Do you have a verse you'd like to add? Have a ditty request? Leave it in comments!

(♪♫ hmm hmm hmm...♫♪♪♫)

OOH! Do NOT let me forget that I'm hosting THIS at 7:30 p.m. EST, this Sunday, 1/26 (in SIX DAYS)! (If I forget, that will be BAD!)

Tacky Cardigan With Words on It: Dog Urban Legends - Hobbit Edition

By the way, I've already checked snopes.com and there is nothing there to disprove this. ;)

Might wanna leave the lights on in the mud room/foyer tonight.
Just saying.

Want me to consider your pet(s) photo for a Tacky Cardigan? Just post it to the Facebook page! 

It Rhymes With 'Hump' Day: Trump

ATTENTION BLOG PATRONS!

I FOUR YEARS OLE! 
no, wait...
DAD IS GREAT! GIVE US THE CHOCOLATE CAKE!
no, wait...
MY WIFE WAS A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN BEFORE WE HAD CHILDREN.
no, wait...
LOOK AT THE POO-POO! SUCH A BEAUTIFUL POO-POO!

[INSERT STAGE HOOK]

From somewhere off screen...

Jon Farleigh!! Oh my gosh! NEVER again!

*****

Tune in next time, when I rhyme "hump" with...

In Which I Explain How Twitter Chats Work, Because You've Gotta Join Mine! #CardiComedy #Dogs

But first, a real-live conversation from last week, in my kitchen:

Eldest Child: So, which day this week can you take me to a hiring session for my summer job?

Me: [Thinks aloud.] Well, Tuesday's out, and Wednesday? Wednesday I've got a Twitter chat at 8 p.m., so no.

Husband and Eldest Child: [Cut off mother, mid-thought, snickering.] A Twitter chat?? Are you serious?? What the heck is a Twitter chat??

Me: [Decides not to expend energy answering patronizing questions.] I'll drive you on Thursday. Remind me, okay?

Okay, so first of all, my family members are dorks. ;) Second, Twitter chats are fun! Third, I'm gonna start hosting one - called #CardiComedy - on Sundays from 7:30-8:30 p.m. EST, and I hope you'll attend!

What is #CardiComedy?

Essentially, it'll be an hour of me, making dumb jokes about my own pet experiences, and throwing crazy, dog-related questions out for attendees to answer, in real time. I envision a canine-centric, interactive comedy hour, where we all get to know each other better over a few well-deserved laughs!

Why should I attend #CardiComedy? I have other stuff I could be doing at that time.

• Because it's free fun!
• Jon Farleigh and Dewi will be there. Have I mentioned we'll be sharing silly pet photos, too?
• You'll get to know other dog people and expand your horizons on Twitter (and maybe beyond).
• There will be prizes. Yes, I said PRIZES! Stuff for your dog, maybe a gift card for you - I have plans to give away some of both, on occasion, and you must be present to be eligible. More on this later...
• (Celebrity) special guests. Laurie Eno of The Daily Corgi, anyone? (I always tell her she's the "Oprah Winfrey of Corgi Nation [which technically spans the globe]." So, yeah, I'd say she has some celebrity!) I'm thrilled to announce Laurie will be a VIP guest at the first chat. Yay!
• You don't have to get dressed up. In fact, you could wear a paper bag and we wouldn't care!
• You'll have stuff to talk about at work on Monday. (Or not. But you could, in theory.☺)

How the heck do I attend #CardiComedy on Twitter? What if I don't even have a Twitter account?

To attend (Twitter user):

1. Log into Twitter.
2. Locate the #CardiComedy chat.
• Enter #CardiComedy in the Search field (magnifying glass icon at top of page).

• On the Results for #CardiComedy page, click All to see everyone's tweets.
  
  Note: Anyone who tweets about the chat (before, during or after) must include #CardiComedy in the body of their tweet. That's how we all keep up with who's attending and what they're saying. This is the hardest thing to remember in a chat. If you forget the hashtag (and you will), you'll be like, "why isn't anyone replying to my tweet?" And then, you'll remember that you DIDN'T use the hashtag, and be all, "crap! who's looking at my tweet?!" And (if you're like me), you'll waste a pile of time deleting the first one and doing it over. (So, my point is, when you mess up, just know you're not the only one who's ever messed up, okay?)
3. Get comfortable (remember to bring your camera, if your pets will be nearby) and enjoy the conversation!

Non-Twitter users: Just skip #1. You don't need an account to find and follow Twitter chats, silently. You DO, however, need an account if you want to actively participate, or enter contests.

How the heck do I follow the conversation? It's happening so FAST!

The Hard Way

You know that "refresh" (circular arrow) icon at the top of your browser window? Well, you'd need to click it every 30 seconds or so (depending on how many people are tweeting using the hashtag #CardiComedy) to refresh the feed. It can be done (I've done it, more than once), but there's a much easier way...

Using TweetDeck (Easy!)

Note: TweetDeck is a tool built by, and located within Twitter itself. You must have a Twitter account to use TweetDeck.

1. Go to tweetdeck.twitter.com.
   Note: You'll see your Twitter "home" page, and also, split into columns, your messages, notifications and activity (refer to the image above).
2. On the left menu, click the search (magnifying glass) icon.
   
3. On the "Choose column type" page, select Search.
   
4. Search for #CardiComedy.
5. Click "Add Column" at the bottom of the box.
   Result: You should see a new "#CardiComedy" column at the far right of your existing columns.
   
6. Sit back and watch the tweets update in real time. (Really, you don't have to refresh or do anything!)
   

How do I interact in the chat from TweetDeck?

To compose a NEW tweet: Click the compose (quill and paper) icon in the upper left corner of your screen.

To interact (reply, retweet, favorite) with an existing tweet: Simply hover over or click the tweet in your #CardiComedy column and VOILA! All the action icons appear at the bottom of the tweet!

What if TweetDeck breaks down?

If this happens, which is rarely, but it can, I suggest using HootSuite.com as an alternative. If you need help getting that program up and running (it's not nearly as intuitive as TweetDeck), I can try to help. Just send me an email.

Okay, I'd love to attend #CardiComedy; when's the first chat?

Sunday, January 26, 7:30 p.m. - 8:30 p.m. EST (4:30 PST)

Will you come?! I hope so!

So, you think they'll come? Can we get down now? Is the mic off?