Thursday, May 31, 2012

Terrible Tales with Jon Farleigh: Purrassic Park

(As told around a campfire to a bunch of eager "Pup" Scouts with short attention spans.)

Listen up; this is scary stuff.

My best friend Dewi and I could hardly contain our excitement, imagining the thrills we were gonna have chasing the three "clone" kitties that our Mom person had brought home for us the day before. 

We hadn't seen them go into the room-where-it-rains that first day, but we could hear their faint mewing and smell their "not-quite-cat" (because they were created special, just for our amusement) scent from underneath the door. We just knew something wonderful awaited us because of all the time Mom and all our other peeps were spending in there getting things ready. 

On the afternoon that she invited us to follow her through our sleeping room to the door separating us from our adventure, we were so excited that we forgot our manners and shoved past Mom's legs, through the cracked doorway and into A TERRIBLE NIGHTMARE!

They're gonna rush me in 30 seconds.

At first the creatures seemed harmless enough (they were tiny), but then, before I could even decide which one's butt to sniff first, they rushed me!

All three of the tiny carnivorous monsters came at me with such conviction that I began to fear for my safety (no cat in its right mind rushes a strange dog; they had to be mutants out to make a meal out of me!). 

So I let out a half-chortle, half-cry and scampered away from the beasts as fast as I could!

(It was sadly too late for my friend Dewi, as the menacing fur balls had already transformed him into a minion through mutant feline mind control.)

Dewi: Whatever you ask, I do.

But wherever I went, they came after me (that is, when they weren't lapping up what must have been minced dog meat from a silver platter)! 


Alas, there was no where left for me to turn...except the place where it sometimes rains on my people. 

Oh, please no.

I'm so doomed.

So I went in because it wasn't raining then, BUT THEY FOLLOWED ME! And just when I thought my life was over...


And wouldn't you know all those horrible fake cats wheeled around and went straight after her? That's when I slipped out and hid in the room with the big white bowl...and waited.

Then, next thing I knew it was raining, and the noise caused those little terrorists to run back over in my direction. But just inches before I was a goner, I ran straight into the torrential rain and did not budge. I was soaking wet, but safe (because like real cats, the mutants didn't like getting water on their fur). Whew!

If I get in there, I will melt.

In the end, Mom made the rain stop and wrapped me up in a towel. 

I was relieved when she said my adventure was over. Dewi was too (once he snapped out of his trance).

I think I'd like to take a break from adventures and eat more snacks.

The End

Sweet dreams, everyone! ;)

P.S. This is absolutely how Jon Farleigh got wet (he's slightly afraid of the foster kitties; poor dude). Nice job guessing the correct answer on the poll!

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Guess Why Jon Farleigh Is Wet - An Informal Poll

Jon Farleigh got pretty wet earlier today. Here are some photos of him (about an hour after he'd dried a bit).

Wanna guess how he got this way?

Be sure to stop by tomorrow for the correct answer! :D

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Determined Not to Slip in the Ratings (on account of adorable foster kittens), Jon Farleigh and Dewi Learned a New Skill

Cardigan Welsh Corgi hula dancing

Hana hou!

A `ole pilikia!

And, just when you thought this post couldn't get any more absurd just for kicks...

Posed for a few publicity shots to commemorate the "unofficial" start of summer.

Aloha `oe
Kipa hao mai

(Translation from Polynesian: This is our blog and don't you forget we are just as adorable as her our three foster kittens.)

(Note: That isn't the real translation.)

(Actual translation: Thank you. Farewell to you. Come visit again.)

Sincerely (your loyal DOG blog friends), 

Jon Farleigh and Dewi

Friday, May 25, 2012

It Rained Foster Kittens...and I Caught Some!

Yes, you read that right. When I learned that this morning's forecast at the Richmond SPCA was cloudy with a 100% chance of foster kittens*, there was only one thing for me to do: drive over there and see if I could catch one (or three).

And so I did...all of the above. ;)

Now, before I bust wide open from the anticipation, please meet my three itty bitty, 5-week-old foster kitties!

On my lap ☺

Although not the names they were given at the shelter, we're affectionately referring to them (L to R in top photo) as Bob (teeny little tabby boy), Patrick (large tabby boy) and Sandy (long-haired dilute tortoiseshell/tabby, aka torbie girl).
If all goes well, we'll have these three fuzz balls for 3-4 weeks, at which time they'll be spayed/neutered and placed for adoption at the Richmond SPCA (which happens to be exploding with kittens of all ages).

Because they are so little and too young to be fully vaccinated or treated for biting parasites, we've set up a kitten "apartment" in my master bathroom, which can be completely closed off from our other pets and is relatively easy to clean.

The kittens seem to think the arrangement is pretty cool.


teeny Bob


teeny Bob totally fell asleep while at the watering hole ☺

Kitten Pile (squee!)

In case you're wondering about how the rest of the animals are handing this, they are (for now) completely oblivious. They haven't seen the kittens and have expressed no desire to break into the bathroom. At some point (before the kittens go back to the SPCA), though, I'll try a supervised meeting with the dogs (one dog at a time). I think it'll be good socialization for both species. (And besides, Jon Farleigh was best friends with kitten Lulabelle way back in the day.)

Can you believe he was ever that small?
(He's at least three times larger than her now.)

Aside from the over-the-top adorable factor, I'm most pleased with how the kittens are doing so far: they're eating, drinking, peeing (in the litterbox), pooping (in the litterbox), playing, sleeping and doing all the other things little kittens should be doing at this age. Oh yeah, and they purr LOUDLY and often.

It's going to be a full holiday weekend at my house, for sure.

Speaking of holidays, the blog will be taking one (along with many of you) on Monday.
Hope you all (wherever you are and whatever season it is) have a fantastic next few days!
See you Tuesday!

P.S. I'll announce the winner of my BlogPaws 2012 full conference pass giveaway tomorrow morning on Facebook and Twitter!

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Doo-dads, Tid-bits and Turkeys

I thought I'd just tie up some loose previous-blog-post-ends today...

But first, does anyone remember Doo-dads and Tid-bits? (I ate them as a kid in the 70s.)

Nabisco - Doo Dads snack mix box - 1976

Nabisco Cheese Tid-Bit

It was like one minute they were in the grocery store and then the next they were gone (and I somehow had three kids and a mortgage - WTFudge?). Speaking of crackers, I really miss Cheez-its. : (
(Update on 5/25, because some have inquired: I miss Cheez-its because I broke up with them on April 9 so I could fit back in my summer wardrobe. It's tragic.)

Let's see...what else...

Oh, yes, BIRDS!

Well, I told you about all the many nesting songbirds in my yard, and that the baby Mockingbirds unfortunately got eaten. :( I don't believe I've mentioned, though, that the House Finch eggs (4) hatched in their nest (that was in the wreath on my front door), but about a week later, the mom knocked all four of them out of the nest on purpose and they didn't make it. (Do you realize what a miracle it is that there are any birds flying around in the sky at all, friends?)

But then, there are the BARN SWALLOWS! A beautiful and lively little bird. We have three nesting pairs and not a one of them (including babies) have met an untimely demise (yay)!

I took these photos for you a couple hours ago.

Do you see four sets of eyeballs, too? :) This nest, along with one other, is attached (with mud) to a wall under my covered back porch.  These babies are almost ready to fly. (BTW, this is our third spring hosting multiple barn swallow broods.)

Here are mom and dad keeping a close eye on me. About a minute later I got dive-bombed by two other pairs.

Not a good quality photo, but if you enlarge this, you can see the forked tail  of one of the birds (far left). The barn swallow has the deepest forked tail of any swallow species.

I'm really bummed about the quality of these photos, but you might recall that my Nikon s9100 with the awesome zoom lens (among other things) got smashed when we took the dogs to the professional soccer game. Yeah, so the camera is currently at the Nikon factory hospital waiting for surgery. And, even though it's uninsured (who knew accidental smashing on concrete was a pre-existing condition?), the cost for surgery and transportation (to and from the hospital) is only half of what I'd spend to get a brand new model (not sarcasm, gratefulness!). ;) 

Anyway, I just wanted you to know the status of the blog photography...and that these recent photos I got of some turkeys aren't really that great either.

Jive Turkey #1
(Oh wait, no one says "jive turkey" anymore! That went out with my Doo-dads in the 70s.)

I like to eat turkey and I am what I eat. 

Actual wild turkey running through my front yard (a couple weeks ago)!

So, I think that about does it for the loose ends.

P.S. Mashed pumpkin is good for loose ends (aka Hersheys).

;-) (wink)

Also, don't forget to enter, before Saturday if you want a chance at winning, our BlogPaws 2012 full conference pass giveaway!

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Bust Prevention Week - Enter to Win a Full BlogPaws Conference Pass!

While the American Veterinary Medical Association (AVMA) has designated it as National Dog Bite Prevention Week (and we are all for being educated about that!), we are also designating this week as (exclusively on our mostly dog blog)...


What is bust prevention, you ask? 

Well, we know there are some of you out there who are in danger of BUSTING because you want to go to the BlogPaws (Pet Blogging and Social Media Conference) REALLY badly, but you're not exactly sure where to find the money tree.

So...instead of letting you bust (ew), we're giving away (this week to one lucky entrant) a FULL BlogPaws conference pass (worth $199)!! Yippee!

Here's how to get one entry into the random drawing:

1. LEAVE US A COMMENT (ON THIS BLOG POST) and state what you look forward to the most about attending BlogPaws next month in Salt Lake City.
(Note: Only one comment per person, please.)

2. If you don't already, follow/like us somewhere!
(Hint: Click one of those coffee cups at the top of the blog, or click "Join" on the Google Friend Connect widget.)  

That is all you need to do!

I'll announce the winner Saturday (5/26) morning on Twitter and our Facebook fan page (so pay attention). ;)

Good luck!

Disclosure: We were awarded (and are choosing to give away, because we can't go) one full BlogPaws conference pass (worth $199) for being selected as a Best Humor Blog finalist in the BlogPaws Nose-to-Nose Pet Blogging & Social Media Awards.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Outdated Cardigan: My Dogs Used to Steal Toilet Paper for Fun

When I first decided to re-run a video of the dogs going on an elaborate toilet paper heist a la Mission Impossible, I was going to put "classic" (vs. "outdated") in the title, but then "classic" - when referring to an article of clothing, like a cardigan, for example - implies something that will never go out of style. And well, frankly, for some time now, Jon Farleigh and Dewi wouldn't be caught dead acknowledging the existence of toilet paper, much less expending energy to steal it out of the bathroom.

Yep, to them, toilet paper is just so..."yesterday."

Dewi: Seriously? What am I supposed to do with this thing, man?

So. Completely. Humiliating.


How much you wanna bet she tags us in these on Facebook?

I'm using a sick day tomorrow.

Life is rough for these two, don't you think? ;)


Anyway, I suppose there won't be any video sequels in this franchise. Darn.

But because it's been ages since I first posted it, and the boys are just SO stinking adorable being bad (especially since they don't do this anymore), and the theme music in the video is so cool,
just for you:

Originally posted on June 15, 2011...

Or, click here if you prefer to watch at YouTube.

P.S. I'm a weensy bit sad that they've grown out of this. Please pretend I didn't say that.

Monday, May 21, 2012

Bad Folk Songs with Dewi: Her Old Gray Matter, It Ain't What It Used to Be

Featuring Jon Farleigh as backup vocalist

(To the tune of The Old Gray Mare)

Oh, her old gray matter, it ain't what it used to be.
The clock said seven-thirty, but she forgot to feed me.

Her old gray matter, it ain't what it used to be,
And her faculties have started to go.

Mom Person with Old Gray Matter and Missing Faculties
(created at with original art from Hyperbole and a Half)

Her faculties have started to go; her age is starting to show.

Her old gray matter, it ain't what it used to be,
And her faculties have started to go.


A helpful hint for remembering to feed your dog:

Thank you. Have a good day.


Friday, May 18, 2012

Today's Grammar Lesson: Misuse of the Word 'Literal' with Respect to Major Pet Blogging Awards

Incorrect usage in a sentence:

OMG and SHUT THE FRONT DOOR! Our blog was just named a BlogPaws 2012 "Best Humor Blog" finalist for the literal Nose-to-Nose Pet Social Media & Pet Blogging Awards!

What I just said, in pictures:

Mom, is this funny enough for you?
How long do we have to stay this way?

Moooooommmm!!!! Tell them they can KEEP the dang nose-to-nose award!!
This blows!

Now, remove the word "literal."

OMG and SHUT THE FRONT DOOR! Our blog was just named a BlogPaws 2012 "Best Humor Blog" finalist for the Nose-to-Nose Pet Social Media & Pet Blogging Awards!

What I just said, in a picture:

The Chronicles of Cardigan is a:

Click image to see the full list of categories and finalists.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I'll go mumble a few more cable TV words.
(You do know Animal Planet animals have dirty mouths, right? Uh huh. Literally.)


P.S. CONGRATULATIONS to all the other finalists (in all categories); it's an honor (and so humbling) to be counted among you. Just wow!

P.P.S. Have an awesome weekend, everyone!

Thursday, May 17, 2012

My Dogs 'Drew' Straws and Jon Farleigh Won (a Trip to Bark in the Park)

(Editor's Note: I'm just sitting here imagining what a first-timer to my blog might think after reading the title of this post. How does one preface one's dogs drawing straws and winning trips? I dunno? Oh, well. Thanks for listening. ;)

Okay, for those who are still reading, but missed yesterday's post, I made the dogs draw (choose) straws to determine which one got to go with me and Youngest Child to Bark in the Park. (It'll make more sense if you read yesterday's post.)

And, yes, (per the title) Jon Farleigh's nose won the "draw"; therefore, JF got to go (and Dewi will go next time, in August). 

So, off we go to the ballpark...

And here's JF making out with a yellow lab.

JF: Wanna go under the bleachers? 

Okay, they weren't really making out (although there's definitely something more than a casual butt sniff going on). Sadly for JF, though, the lab's visit was limited to this brief encounter on the stairs. ;)

This lovely young Boxer lady, however, was our bleacher mate for the whole game. Such a sweetie!

This little guy was in the row in front of us...

...and Dachshund girl was behind us.

Until this (extremely affectionate) girl moved in.

My little ladies' man was in dog heaven. :)

So was I (in dog heaven), frankly. I didn't watch anything but dogs until the bottom of the 7th inning! (oops)

This little person liked Jon Farleigh (and the feeling was mutual - JF is very fond of little people). :)

Little person: Goggie!

Jon Farleigh slept well last night (right after he got home and played bitey face and zoomies with Dewi, who didn't seem to be holding a grudge).

Oh, and by the way, I'm totally using the straws on the dogs again!


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